Dear Jinki

You know how I was rudely interrupted last time I was writing a letter to you? That inconsiderate trespasser was none other than Onew.  I accidentally dropped the envelopes I was buying, and he picked them up and got his manager to find out where I lived. I think that counts as blatantly stalking me, in which case I could file for a restraining order. I decided not to though, only because after he found out my little brother is a die-hard fan of SHINee he offered him two V.I.P. tickets to their upcoming concert. I wonder who the other ticket is for… My mom was home at the time and after seeing Onew she nearly had a , she definitely though he was you! She offered for him to have tea but he said that he had to go back to his dorm otherwise his manager will murder him. After he left mom started acting really abnormally and she kept commenting about what a nice guy he was.

If you’re wondering, my counseling sessions have been coming along smoothly. Most of the time she’s just digging about my past and how I grew up, just stuff I already knew. Last time we even bought you up. She asked about how you became my boyfriend, and I told her the exact same story that I’m going to tell you now (you already know it, but it’s nice to reminiscence).

That day when the classes were announced, for the first time ever we were in separate homerooms. It was luck that we had Art together, as you had suddenly taken an interest in the subject after reading about Art History. I thought I was alone as I walked to my homeroom, but it turned out there was someone trailing me, I turned around only to see Sooyeon staring back innocently at me. We had all the same classes, so it was only a matter of time before her and I became close friends.

Still, I kept the uneasy feeling in my heart to myself. One interval when we were studying for the mid-year exams in the library, you pulled out a bracelet from your pocket. “Happy Birthday,” you whispered excitedly. I was so stressed from aiming to achieve good results in the test that it came as a surprise; it was an ever bigger astonishment to me because it was n't even my birthday. We both know that my birthday is just three weeks after yours. “It’s not-“ “I know it’s not,” you interrupted, “I saw it as I passed by a street vendor. It really suits you doesn’t it? The colors don’t match perfectly, but that’s what makes it unique.” A smirk played on your lips as you added teasingly, “Just like you. I know you don’t want to tell me why you have been upset recently, but I hope this cheers you up.”

I wanted to tell you everything then. The awkward feeling that had been piercing my heart tauntingly, but I wasn’t brave enough. Not yet. You were focused again on your algebra, but I tapped your shoulder. “Thanks Jinki, I love it... I’ll treasure it.” Your bewildered expression altered to a bright grin, and I stood up to leave, “I have to go now, see you in class”. Your importance to me is unimaginable. Even while I was busy finding where I held you in my heart, you were worrying about me. I rushed out of the room before you could catch up with me, I didn’t want you to see the tears b in my eyes. After that day I was adamant to find the courage to share my heart, and the first person I could think of for advice was Sooyeon.

Under the cascading shadow of the pine tree, I let everything that had trapped itself flow out of me. When I had finished, the air was very still with a tension weaved between it. The only sound was that of a boy kicking a soccer ball against the dirt. Finally Sooyeon put down her coconut bun as she finished assessing the situation. “It sounds like you’re in love with him”. 

Her comment had only caused more trouble though.

Love,

Jang Hyerin