Dear Jinki

This in the first time in quite awhile I've written to you right?

It's been exactly one year since the accident has happened. Jinki... you're dead and I accept that now.

The last day we were together is etched in my mind. It was you packing to go back to college. I sat cross-legged on your bed as you shoved clothes that you would never wear again messily into each suitcase and zipped them up. I threw a pillow at you, "I wish you weren't going," I whined annoyingly. "Me too," you replied flashing a grin. "Liar." You tackled me and we twisted on the sheets laughing in each other arms. With support from your hands holding yourself up on top of me you leant in to kiss me tenderly. "I love you," you breathed. "I love you too." When the taxi arrived I waved at you from the gate without a worry. 

Yet something felt wrong and when it was told to me that you had been in a car accident I shut myself off completely. I was crazy even, shutting myself up and only painting pictures of our memories, I barely ate and the few times I did go outside was to buy more art supplies. It made my parents so worried that they hired a counselor and even enlisted the help of your cousin to "get me out more". Onew's a nice guy. At first I was angry because I thought that he was tricking me since he never said anything, but now I've gradually began to understand. We haven't really talked often since he's gone to Japan for promotions but we're friends now.

Sooyeon came over for a visit and we mourned together. She said that when she had confessed to you, you told her right then that you liked me. She told me that she had hoped that maybe you would change your mind and begged for a few dates as trial. When you two had "broken up" she was curious about me because of how highly you thought of me, and her curiosity led us to becoming friends.

What she said had got me thinking about all the opportunities you gave me, about what you have taught me, everything you've done for me and how dull and different my life would have been without you.

You are my soulmate and although you have passed I know you will watch over me.

Maybe I'll move on and change but I will always love you.

Your memory will live inside me forever.

Jang Hyerin.

I finished my letter with an odd sense of peace. Since that year had passed I had been to hell and back and now I have enrolled in an art college in Busan. It is a chance of a  lifetime and a chance that you gave me. Is it a gift for me amongst all that I had suffered recently? I had uploaded a photo of an artwork I had painted in the pit of my depression onto the internet and was contacted by an art teacher that was so impressed she recommended the college to me. 

I was now inside my childhood and adolescent room again. It had been months since I had been in this room full of so many fond days. The dent in the wall we had made when we were playing a "friendly" game of tag, the sheets we had snuggled together in, a few of the clothes you had left here still draped on the chair, everything felt nostalgic. As I stood up a breeze picked up and the photos of us that had been sprawled across my desk flew into the air. They danced around me like a tornado and gradually settled, hovering slowly to the ground. I was frozen in awe and just then I saw sitting on a photo, a beatle the size of my thumb. Exactly the same as the one I saw when we first met. I knew what it meant, it was a sign. I smiled. Without hesitation I picked up the beetle and set it, and myself free. 

It looks like my letters had been sent to you after all, my letters delivered by angels.

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Thanks for the love and support guys, I really appreciate it. I know a lot of you expected Onew to be Jinki and a happy ending so I'm sorry the story didn't turn out the way you wanted it to. This is how I planned the story to end though and I really didn't want to change it since it really wouldn't have make sense. :( Sorry guys and thanks again.

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