Dear Jinki

The holidays are nearly coming up! My parents are planning a vacation at Jeju Island for our whole family. I keep telling them I want to stay so I can see you, but they just shake their heads, and insist that we all need a break. Even so, I refuse to go! I can’t wait to see you in a couple of month’s time.

At this time four years ago we were all stressed from preparing for examinations to get into a good high school. Maybe that’s why we lashed out at each other and started the biggest argument we’ve ever had back then.  It was something as simple as discussing which high school we were going to. I wanted to go to an art specialty high school while you had your sights set on academics. You suggested I aim for the same school as you, and I insinuated that you were purposely going to a school you knew I could never get into, and then you retorted that I was being selfish for not letting you go where you really wanted. I then replied that I understood everything and we ignored each other for about two weeks. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to you; it was more like I didn’t want to confront the fact that we would be separated.

Despite the nonchalant facade, I applied for the private high school you had your sights set on and for every minute of the day I was studying. I also went for another public school close to our district so that if I didn’t get in, I could at least still see you before and after school. When the results were announced I was unexpectedly accepted to both high schools, and I ran to you, to the house I hadn’t been in ever since our “fight”.  But when I announced the news to you, you didn’t share my excitement. It turned out that whereas I was studying math, literature and English – you were studying Visual Art and art history. Basically you were accepted into the art specialty school, albeit I was in the private academic school. Luckily it turned out we had applied for the same public school and the conclusion was that we were to spend another three years together.

That year when the holidays began I went to spend time with my auntie in Busan. I remember practicing the dialect there really hard, so that I could show off to you when I got home. I also became more “feminine” as people call it... To be honest, although I didn’t know at the time, I wanted to become prettier for you. Usually during the holidays I would crop my hair so it didn’t get bothersome, but instead I let it grow. Eventually though, my auntie forced me to go to a hair salon.  There they went loose on me, and when everything was completed, I found that my hair was long and straight with a smooth fringe pushed to the side.  It was definitely quite the sight considering I alway used to have mid-length unruly hair. Also, I was taught how to apply make-up by my cousins. It’s quite similar to painting actually, except the canvas is skin. My luggage was ransacked and the t-shirts replaced with delicate blouses, the khakis with floral skirts and long slim jeans.

So, as I arrived at the airport, my long hair cascading down my back and light cream dress caught in the wind, my family walked right past me shouting, “Jang Hyerin! Where are you?!” I thought that I had made a colssal conversion, yet when you saw me you acted the same as always. You had that stupid grin on your face, and your eyes were crescents, lighting up the whole sky. What I didn’t know was that you had made an even larger change, I should have realized when my heartbeat shot up and a blush ticked my face, but I didn’t.

With high school starting the very next day though, I was bound to catch on… and so were you.

Always loving you,

Jang Hyerin