Dear Jinki

I ran into Onew again. It was at the convenience store, when I approached the check-out there he was. You can probably imagine the awkwardness between the person whose shin has been permanently damaged and the kicker. I shall emphasize that I am not the culprit but the victim here.  I was adamant to ignore his existence so I stared at the magazine rack; I was so focused on staring that I didn’t realize the row was I looking at contained magazines! When I did my reaction couldn’t be contained, and I gasped really loudly. He laughed at me and offered me a box of Popero which I kindly accepted because he obviously needed to get rid of it. I then yelped that I needed to go to the convenience store and sprinted away. Ironically I was in a convenience store, and I can just picture his expression after I left. It was so mortifying that when I got home, I spent four hours watching an infomercial on vacuum cleaners.

My little brother is all excited for his first year of High School now. My parents are buying him the uniform ahead of time since he keeps bugging them about it. It reminds me of our first day of High School.

It was a tradition that you would wait outside the gate of my house with your bike and when I came out you’d wave at me with a grin plastered across your face.  With my new uniform on I felt mature and grown-up, yet when I stepped outside of my door and saw you, it was like I was back to being a child. That day was different though, as I hopped on the bike and put my arms around you, I discovered the taut muscles on your stomach.  As I leaned my face against your back I realized that there was a lot more space than there used to be. Also, even through the smell of the new uniform I could pick out a musky scent, one which I didn’t know of. Everything else was the same though, as you calmly pedaled down the road I was ushering you to hurry up (we were always the late ones), and you retorted that it’s because of my weight that you can’t bike faster. Really though, I was glad for our slow speed since I gradually found more sides of you that were previously unknown to me.

When we arrived you nonchalantly tousled your wind-blown hair into place, it was then I noticed your hair wasn’t the same neat cut; it was a chocolate brown shade, disheveled yet still kempt with the fringe pushed to the side.  I wanted to ask you when you changed from the kid I knew so well to a completely different person.  But instead as we walked to the assembly hall what came out of my mouth was me bragging about how tough my Busan accent made me sound. You laughed and picked up a strand of my hair playfully, “Give me toothpaste and I could make you look like vegeta”. Maybe it was our close proximity then, but my heart felt uneasy and I withdrew. I didn’t even have the courage to repond to your cautious apology; I was cursing myself for thinking of us as anything beyond best friends.

That was when we heard someone calling out my name, and when I turned there was Sooyeon, the same girl you had dated previously. “I hope we can be friends…” she had muttered to me, and we did become friends. In fact, although you might not remember much of her, she was what brought us together.

There’s someone at the door so I have to end it here. I hope you’re well. I can’t wait to see you soon.

Love,

Jang Hyerin