A grave yard.

He brings him to a graveyard. Byun Baekhyun was trying hard not to break down, hoping she’d be somewhere among the graveyard, alive. He was trembling, as the man next to him had already shed his tears. Byun Baekhyun was following the man, walking steps by steps carefully; his eyes wander around, in case Lee Ji Eun’s name was craved in one of them. But no, even until now, he didn’t found her name. He was relieves yet somehow insecure. He was scared.

The man suddenly stops, much to Baekhyun’s surprised. It was so sudden. He fell to his knee, tears overflowing from his eyes. He stopped before a tombstone, which was beautifully craved. He put the black roses he had just bought from the nearest flower shop. He cried. Baekhyun was scared, seeing how badly the man was crying. He fears once he looked up, he’d find her name written on one of them.

He was scared, his body was shaking as his ears were haunted by Myungsoo’s sobbing and his mother horrified screams. He looked around, wanting to run away from reality, although it has yet to be decided. It was a vast land of graveyard, where everything is covered by snow by now. It was very neat and an old tree grows in the middle of it. There were many tombstones; he has never been this close to the death.

He was trembling; he has to bit his lower lips to prevent himself from collapsing. With one last deep breath, maybe his last, he looked up to read the name carved on the tombstone. He wishes it wasn’t hers. He wishes the world would listen to his wishes for just once. He wanted to prove the world he isn’t insane, yet why did this man bring him to such a scary place? Yet it was hers, it was her name, beautifully carved on the tombstone.

Lee Ji Eun.

It was her beautiful name, written on it. It was the name of his dearest person, written on the cold tombstone. It was his love, who lied as a cold body beneath the ground. It was her name, it was her. Her beautiful figures, her beautiful hair, her red lips, her cute little nose, her pink cheeks, her petite body, was buried underneath the ground. She was sleeping for an eternity beneath the cold ground of winter, with snow burying her even deeper.

His lips were locked; he can’t even say a thing. He was only trembling, not even falling on his knee. He was shivering, his heart was shattering apart. He could barely breathe. His breath becomes short and uneven; his lungs just can’t get enough air. He stood there, frozen. It feels like as if his soul was force to be drained out from his body. His mind went blank. He badly wanted it to be nightmare. This is only nightmare, yes?

Lee Ji Eun

Died : September 5^th, 2012

“Tell me this is a lie! Tell me this is a lie!” He screams, pulling Myungsoo by the collar, shaking him violently.

“This is a lie! This is a lie! Tell me this is a lie! This is only a nightmare!” He screams even more.

He can’t even cry because it hurts so much. The tears were dried, taken away by the pain. It was those who have known true bitterness of pain, who no longer knows how to cry. She was his hopes, his sunshine during snowstorm, she was his everything. She was the person who brought change upon him. She patiently waited for him every day. What is this? He can’t even digest it. He could only stare blankly.

“This is… this isn’t her! This is impossible!” He screams again, but the man could only sobs, unable to provide any answer.

“Tell me… this is a nightmare… tell me I’ll wake up soon… Tell me…”

He collapses, his legs has given up. He fell on his knee, the white roses shattering around the graveyard. He was clutching his throbbing chest, hitting it harshly to fade the pain. He shook his head, he punches himself, wanting to believe this is all a lie. This is all… a lie. He screams, asking the world to wake him up from the nightmare.

He cried, tears just fell down without him to control it. The tears, wetting the cold icy snow. He was calling out her name, wishing she’d appear. He didn’t want to believe in reality, he wanted to be naïve. He’s ready to be a fool, to create an imaginary place where she existed. She isn’t dead. She can’t be dead. She will appear before of him again, one day, on a beautiful evening. He wanted to believe in it.

“She’s… dead. Byun Baekhyun-ssi, Lee Ji Eun is dead.” Kim Myungsoo sobs.

“Explain this to me! You told me she’s real!”

“She’s real. She’s real.”

She isn’t real.

***

He comes back home, turning the house to a pure mess. His mom could only looked at him in horror, his sister gasping as she locked herself inside the room. They were scared of him, believing he’s mentally ill. He has been missing for days, unable to be contacted nor could he be found. Yet once he returns, he turns even more insane. His gazes changes, his appearance was messy, he was covered in blood and stains. His eyes were swollen from crying.

He barges to his room, turning his room to a pure mess. He took out all of the photos he has captured before, the photos of her. He wanted to prove the world she’s real. Kim Myungsoo must be lying. That man… he still loves her, maybe he wanted to steal her back to his embrace. No, Byun Baekhyun isn’t going to let him stole her. He’d tell the world she’s real and she’s is. He took out all of her pictures, her beautiful smile, and her petite figure, all of it.

It was scattered all over the place, as he desperately collected them. His mother was screaming out his name in horror, asking him to calm down as she keeps banging his door. She was crying, sobbing, scared. Her son, who was known as a good and well-mannered young man has turned insane. Never in her worst nightmare, has ever she dreamed of her son to be an insane man. She didn’t want to believe it, that her son is mentally ill; yet running away from reality will only bring back much more disaster.

“Baekhyun, open the door! Open the door!” She screams and it swung open, with Byun Baekhyun looking terrifying.

“Mom! Mom! Looked! I don’t need help! Jieun is real! Jieun is real! The photos! Can’t you see her? There… it’s the girl! It’s the girl!” Baekhyun yelled, pointing at the pictures.

Yet it was fading, her figure was slowly fading away from his sight. Her figure slowly fades away, disappearing through each and every figure. The more he searches for it, the more it fades away. Once again, he fell on his knee, with the pictures scattered all over the place. His mom could only stood there, frozen. She cried for her son, knowing how badly he needs help. He’s hallucinating. He was imagining the unreal things. There was no one in the pictures, not even a single person. It was only a beautiful scene of nature.

“Baekhyun-ah… you need help. Please, you need help!” she screams while her son helplessly cried in front of his door.

“Mom… she’s real. She was in the picture just now… She was there!”

“Baekhyun! Stop it! You’re hallucinating! Please, we’ll give you everything you want. You could quit college; you could pursue your dreams to sing. We’ll give you everything… just please… you need help!” She screams.

Lee Ji Eun isn’t real.

***

It reeks the smell of drugs and alcohol, as how a hospital should be. Everything was silence, a thrilling silence. Everything was painted in white, with a transparent window located next to the entrance door. The white were slowly driving him crazy, day by day, he spent his days watching the white ceiling. He has gotten used to it, after three months of mental therapy, yet it wasn’t helping him at all. He was still unable to believe she’s an illusion, even the doctors couldn’t found anything wrong with him. He’s not mentally ill.

It has been three months ever since then and the spring has begun. He’d still wished for her presence, every time the flower blooms and the rain drops down. He remembered her wish to spent the spring rain together with him, yet she is dead. She has been long dead, yet why would she said such a foolish thing? Why would she appear before him day by day?

Today, too, it was raining – the spring rain, where the flowers would bloom even prettier after the rain end. He was blankly gazing at the grayish sky, the needle-like raindrops that fall gently, one by one. Today, too, he found himself thinking about her. He hasn’t seen her for so long. He misses her, yet he has to get a hold of himself. She’s dead. Ever since the beginning, she wasn’t real. She was an illusion of the death, who knows where the illusion comes from.

***

He found himself in a vast field, where the flower blooms beautifully. There were various flowers, beautifully planted by the nature on its own. The grasses were very green, beautifully covering the ground. The wind were gentle, greetings him, giving him fresh air – his first time ever since he was being suffocated inside his room for mental treatment. The baby blue sky was very pretty and bright, it was clear, the white cotton-candy clouds were beautiful too. The sun was shining brightly and it was warm. He wanted to capture the beautiful pictures so badly.

There was a hill, higher than most of the ground. It seems so far away, from the place where he stood. A huge cheery blossom grows on top of it; it was blooming beautifully, as the petals were slowly falling down to the ground. There was a girl, sitting on a bench bellow the tree. She was wearing a floral patterned dress, while reading a book.

Her wavy brown hair falls over his shoulder. She has a cute little nose. She has a rosy pink cheek and a beautiful smile. Her lip was very kissable and her figure was petite. It attracted him, as he knows the only person who had those charms was only her. She was the only person who could attract him that much, luring him to her charms. He slowly walked up to her, scared that she might only be an illusion, scared that he would have to get hurt all over again.

Her book, somehow he had seen it before. On its cover, the words were craved very beautifully. Someday I Died. It was her favorite. She tugs her hair behind her ear, carefully humming her favorite song while reading. It was indeed her, her soothing voice, and her charming habit. He loved it, the way she reads, the way she drown herself into the book. Most of all, he misses her presence. He could smell her faint scent, missing to the refreshing smell of the cherry blossom.

“Baekhyun,” she smiled and calls out his name, it rings inside his head, it felt nostalgic. He felt completed.

“Lee Ji Eun,” He called out her name, it felt weird yet splendid. It has been a long time since his tongue curl up to say her name.

“Have you been doing fine? You looked quite bad today.”

“You are a criminal, Lee Ji Eun. Why are you here? People said you’re a mere illusion that I creates.”

“Do you think I’m an illusion?”

“You went missing, the day after I confessed to you. Lee Ji Eun, are you real? Because we’re in my dream right now.”

“Is it because it’s your dream that I have to be unreal?”

“Are you real? I was desperate, searching for you through the whole winter night. You’re dead, but are you real?”

“Byun Baekhyun, have you ever heard of a fallen angel? I was one of them. Fallen angels, unlike what those books said, are those who are dead yet they had their wishes unfulfilled. They wander in the real world until their wishes were fulfilled. They could only have one wish though.” She stood up and lean against the tree.

“I was one of them. I died in a car crash on my way to see Kim Myungsoo. He and I, we never believe in love yet we found ourselves being madly in love with each other. I was supposed to depart to Japan that day, yet I can’t leave him. I took a cab and unfortunately, the driver was drunk. I told him to hurry up again and again, so I can see him one last time, yet I ended up crashing. I died in a car crash, 5^th September 2012. That’s the reason he and I can’t be together.” She smiled.

“I turned to a fallen angel. My last wish was to hear the person I loved to say that he loves me. That’s why he never told me he loved me. He would tell me how much I meant to him, how dear he holds me, how important I am, and how he can’t live without me, but never how much he loved me. He never told me he loved me, because he knows I’d disappear. He never cheated on me; I was the one to ask him to move on. He sleeps with countless girls yet none was able to steal his heart. Then… I meet you.”

“You’re one of a man, Byun Baekhyun. You weren’t supposed to be able to see me. I was supposed to be invisible. Have you ever wondered why people stared at you as if you’re mentally ill? Because they can’t see me. Only the old man can, because he, too, is another fallen angel. His last wish was to be called granpa by his granddaughter. Byun Baekhyun, you made me fall for you and when you told me that you loved me, my time has come. I disappeared when the clock strike 12 at night. That’s why I went missing. That’s why Myungsoo cried so badly, because he won’t be able to see me.”

It was all clear to him. He always wonder how such a perfect lady exist, maybe its because she wasn’t a human being. She’s an angel, a fallen one. She has so many charms that he can’t help but like her even more. She’s an angel, that’s why she was very beautiful and attractive. It was now clear to him, how she is an angel who isn’t supposed to exist. She shouldn’t have become a part of his life, yet it was his fault for dragging her into it.

He shouldn’t have told her he loved her, by then she wouldn’t have gone missing. She’d be alive, although the whole world would tell him he’s insane, at least he’ll be able to see her. She won’t have disappeared, she won’t have faded away. She’ll always be there, waiting for him every evening, spending the whole day together with him. He wouldn’t have to care about what the world says, because she’s next to him. It was his fault that he disappeared.

“Lee Ji Eun is real. I’m real, but now… I’m fading away. Thanks to you, I rested in peace. Byun Baekhyun, never doubt what you believes. This is goodbye then. Goodbye, Byun Baekhyun. I love you.”

He wanted to grasp her, her fading body and her feelings, yet failed. She was fading away, disappearing to pixie dusts and flied to the sky. He asked her to stay yet she could only smiled, fading away to her last drop of presence. She soon disappeared from her sight, as she no longer existed, as how she shouldn’t have existed in his life.

Lee Ji Eun is real.

***

He flutters his eyes open, heart beating fastly, as it thumps against his chest. He took out his wallet, looking at the small picture he used to slip inside. Her pictures has all faded away, no traces of her could be found in his pictures but this one… she was there, smiling widely as she gazes lovably at his camera. It was at their first meeting.

Lee Ji Eun is real.

A tears escape his eyes, it landed on her beautiful face. The beautiful pictures were now stained by his tears. The spring rain outside soon stops and a beautiful rainbow painted the sky. It hurts; he was clutching his chest, trying to ease the pain, only to fail. It hurts even more. As the rainbow turn clearer, as the sky turn brighter, her last drop of presence fade away. She has completely faded away, from his life, from his story.

“I love you,” he whispered, holding on to the pictures before she completely disappear.

And when the clock gracefully strikes 4, Lee Ji Eun has disappeared.

-The End-

Author Note

It finally ended! I hope I don't disappoint you with the ending. Honestly, I'm rushing it. I don't feel that much satisfied about this chapter, but I hope it'll do just fine! Anyway, thank you for all your supports, my subscriber and the lovely comments! Thank you!