http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzXAdtKKNyI

Tess sat and thought about it for a long time, the reaction Heechul had that night she went out with Eunhyuk and Junsu.

His sharp mind was able to cut through any defenses she put up and she finally gave in, telling him her worries.

He had stared at her a long time, his eyes shining with something she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, puzzle out. She told him her fears and shared with him her deepest wishes for the future and he had turned away defeated. She had apologized for not being able to return whatever it was he was feeling for her, but he finally knew why and let her go.

It had been one full day and she hadn’t seen him at all. The shooting had lasted well into the afternoon and Heechul never even poked his head in. Leeteuk called him many times but he hadn’t answered until the last call around five that evening. He told them all he was bunking with Simon D and not to worry.

Tess could tell the others were disappointed but she only felt guilt and unease in her heart for the outgoing big space star.

She stared off into the night through the dark windows of the café, her eyes unfocused and glassy with her thoughts. She rubbed her chest because it felt like something heavy was sitting there, suffocating her and she could feel burning behind her eyes.

Then a song caught her attention and she had to leave. She had to escape before she started sobbing right there.

…

YuChun was enjoying his food and drink with a smile on his face, not even sparing a glance at the moment to the woman he’d followed in. But a sudden movement had his eyes darting towards her table as she stood quickly and fled, leaving money enough on the table. She had looked upset, and that’s when he registered the music softly drifting from the hidden speakers in the café.

It was Jaejoong Hyeong singing Forgotten Season.
YuChun got up and followed the woman out, stopping under the streetlight to look around the empty avenue. She was gone.

He sighed and started to walk to the left when a sob caught his ear.

YuChun turned and walked hesitantly to the right, peering down into the alley made by the café and a high wall that lined the incline lane next to it.

She was down at the end in the darkness, clutching her chest and crying silently as she could. Her shoulders were shaking so badly he thought she would fall over. YuChun’s own eyes began to water as he witnessed her heartbreak.

‘She had heard Hyeongs song’ he thought, ‘and this is her reaction.’
YuChun shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. ‘She is worse than Hyeong right now. At least he has something to keep him busy and people to talk to. She has to keep it all hidden.’

YuChun made up his mind with that revelation and he started down the alley towards her. He scuffed his shoe, drawing her attention and she clammed up quickly. Turning to face him after wiping her face she got quite the shock upon seeing him in the weak light.

“You’re…” her voice shook and she looked away.

“I am, why are you crying here all alone?” He asked letting his concern show through his eyes. He stood back away from her so she wouldn’t feel threatened and he handed her his handkerchief.

Tess took it in a shaking grip and wiped her errant tears. She chuckled bitterly and he winched at the sound.
“Just wallowing in pain, you know… life.” She shrugged and he sighed.

“Jaejoong Hyeong told us about you, you shouldn’t be alone like this.” He took the proffered hanky back and stuffed it in his pocket to avoid looking at her.

After a tense silence he heard her scoff. “I can’t say I’m surprised you recognized me, thanks to this stupid show I’m probably more famous than I realize.”

YuChun looked up and grinned, she was bristling a little and had her arms folded. He saw her do that same stance a few times before on TV and knew it was her prelude to a temper.

“You okay now?” he grinned and she glared at him.

“Yeah I’ll be fine.” Then she dropped her arms and stood toe to toe with him. “But you won’t be if you tell Jaejoong-ssi that you saw me, or that I was… upset.”

YuChun laughed and took her hand, “It’s a deal.”

Tess looked at him warily and said “I don’t think I’m going to like you.”

YuChun just flashed her a grin and said “You know you will” before dragging her out into the street and starting their walk back to the bus stop, still holding hands.

…

“So, what are you going to do when this show is over?” YuChun and Tess were sitting in the back of the bus away from any ears that might overhear and hand phones that might snap pictures. They were surprisingly still holding each other’s hands and Tess was drawing comfort from that.

“I don’t know, it all happened so quickly and without my permission…”

YuChun looked at her shocked. “What? How can that be, without your permission? Didn’t you have to sign something, do paper work, that sort of stuff?”

Tess nodded with her head resting on the cool glass of the window, she sighed. “Yes but Jaejoong’s sister can be a real pain, if you know what I mean.”

YuChun grinned “I’ve heard.”

“Well I was living with her for some time, and she suddenly got the urge to video tape me every waking moment. I was so flustered that week and she caught the worst possible moments on film, then sent it in to the submissions for the applicants to come on the show and live with these idols… needless to say it was all a big frustrating mess, but I got to come here and study the language and learn the culture firsthand.”
She sighed in contentment for a moment, “It was amazing getting to see Bukchon and live in a traditional setting for a night and two days, or when we filmed at the temple, and I got to wear that Hanbok in one episode and the tour of the palace… It was wonderful.”

She was grinning like a babo now and YuChun couldn’t help but smile with her. He got to see through her eyes for a moment and knew she really loved the country. It warmed his heart that his Hyeong wasn’t getting some crazy fan girl who only wanted to marry Hero from TVXQ and perhaps become an idol wife.

She really appreciated their culture and loved it.
‘She would most likely do the same for Jaejoongie Hyeong, and he needs that so badly.’ YuChun thought smiling and tightening his grip on her fingers, playfully bouncing their clasped hands on his leg. She looked over and smiled warmly at him.

“You know, you’re alright.” She said nudging him with her shoulder.

YuChun chuckled “I know, you love me, it was inevitable ” making Tess laugh outright.

…

YuChun safely saw her home that night and warned her he would be around and they traded phone numbers before he left from the front lobby.

Tess watched him walk away and finally turned to go to the elevators when she stopped at seeing who was standing there waiting for her.

“Donghae-ssi… what are you doing down here? Just getting in?” She said awkwardly smiling as she hit the button to call the lift.

Donghae was just staring at her with his hands on his hips. Tess felt her face burning from the intensity of his glare and she turned to look at him.

“What were you doing with Park YuChun?” Donghae asked in a voice full of disdain.

Tess could only stare in silent shock at this new side to the sensitive and loving man she thought she knew.

“Why are you being like this Donghae-ssi? I was just talking to a friend…” she didn’t get to finish as the lift doors opened and an angry Donghae grabbed her arm and pulled her after him into the elevator and pushed for the twelfth floor.

“Donghae…?”

He wouldn’t speak for a moment and then he turned her so they were standing inches away from each other.

“You must think I’m acting stupid, but I don’t want you hanging around with him again. He isn’t a part of the company anymore and it would cause a huge scandal, not to mention everyone thinks we are dating. What if a fan saw you with him? Did you think of that Tess-ah, did you even care about us when you met him?”

Donghae was almost yelling at her now and she could see the vein standing out on his neck.

“I… I’m sorry it won’t happen again.” She could do little else but stutter in a quiet voice as she saw a whole other side of this man before her. She didn’t even notice he was still gripping her upper arm tightly until the doors opened and a laughing Eunhyuk and Heechul were revealed. They saw the tense situation and the smiles fled.

Eunhyuk looked at Donghae and said in a concerned hesitant voice “Yah… Hae what’s going on?”

Heechul took one look at Tess’ bewildered and scared face and stepped forward. He took a hold of Donghae’s wrist and squeezed making the younger man let go and then he took Tess’s hand in his and turned away pulling her after him leaving the other two behind.

Tess could hear Eunhyuk asking Donghae what was the matter before Heechul unlocked the door and ushered her into the apartment.

“Tess-ah, what are you doing here!” Shindong called from the couch as Heechul pulled her through.

Leeteuk got up and started towards them with his dimpled smile until he saw the look in Heechuls eyes and he paused, letting the diva take Tess into his room and shut the door.

Leeteuk looked back at the puzzled Shindong and said “Wonder what that was about?”

“You don’t think they are going to fight again do you?” Shindong asked concerned, sharing a worried glance with the comical dancer.

Then Donghae came slamming into the room with Eunhyuk hot on his heels.

“Hae wait a minute, can’t you just calm down first? Then we can talk to Tess-ah, eo?”  Eunhyuk chattered at the man who was now pounding on Heechuls door like an angry Father.

“What’s going on?” Leeteuk mimed to the younger man who could only shrug and mouth silently back “I don’t know.”

“Yah, Hyeong… this is between me and her so out!” Donghae yelled through the door making all the present members eyebrows shoot up into their hairlines at the rude display from a usually calm, soft spoken man.

Heechuls door slammed open and the irate diva stormed out into the younger man’s face.

“Yah, Lee Donghae! If you don’t shut up and leave right now there is going to be trouble.” Heechul shouted.

Donghae didn’t back down “Tess-ah and I have something to talk about so you leave.”

Heechul raised his hand but Tess’s fingers wrapped around his bicep and pulled him back. “It’s alright Heechul, I’ll talk to him.” She said finally calm and able to explain things.

Heechul sighed and let her move past him.

“Donghae I’ll talk to you, but I’m not going to lie, you won’t be very happy to hear what I have to say.”

Donghae nodded and the two went into his and the leaders’ shared room to talk it out in privacy.

…

Tess at down on Leeteuk’s bed while Donghae sat on his own, staring ahead with clasped hands.

Tess sighed feeling weary already, and she cleared .

“Are you going to him then?”

The sudden question from the man before her stunned her into silence, but only for a moment. “I want to, but I know I can’t.”

“So what… you are connecting with people closest to him instead?” Donghae scoffed under his breath but Tess heard.

“Donghae I know we have a lot in common and I know we get along really well…”

“Not to mention the whole country thinks we are dating.” He supplied and she continued on.

“But we are in a fake relationship and you already know I love him. Just because I can’t be with him doesn’t change my mind, or my heart. I am really grateful that you want to protect me like this, and I promise to not jeopardize the show or your reputation, but I cannot deal with all this on my own anymore. It’s too painful to know he is a phone call away but I can’t call him, that he lives just on the other side of town but I can’t meet him. He doesn’t even know…” Tess had tears rolling down her face and she didn’t even realize it. Donghae was staring at her with wide eyes, feeling her pain form in his own throat as a lump he couldn’t swallow.

The grief nearly overwhelmed her words as she continued on.

“I have lost everything I love in such a short amount of time and I cannot grasp this one thread of happiness. I don’t want to hurt the ones around me; I won’t, so you don’t have to worry. I will not meet him, but I want to be able to talk to someone who knows what we both are going through. Maybe someday I will hear he has moved on and become happy, and I can do the same. Don’t worry; I won’t let anyone see me. Super Junior will go on as it was before I came and I will fade to the back of people’s minds. Maybe then I can meet him, we can talk, but until then I won’t see him. I won’t hurt you guys. I promise.”

She leaned her head down and the tears splashed her bare feet, only then did she realize she was crying and quickly wiped at her face. Donghae slid from his bed to the floor and knelt in front of her, gripping her hands in his.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered over the emotion, he could barely speak. She was suffering so much had suffered for so long and here he was only thinking of himself. Tears rolled silently down his face as the woman before him hiccupped a sob back and let her hair fall forward to cover her face from view.

“I know… I know you won’t do anything to hurt us; I’m sorry Tess-ah. I’m so, so sorry.”

He bowed his head as well and they sat in silence like that for some time after.

…

Heechul turned away from the door he had been listening at and wiped away the tears from his own eyes. He’d never even thought about what she was going through.

He was right to let it go before, he knew that even more now. He felt it was unfair that she had to hide so much, to deny her heart when she had already had it ripped from her time and time again in the past.

He wanted to give her this; somehow he had to make her happy again. He wouldn’t watch the person he loved be miserable any longer.

…

The incessant ringing of his hand phone awoke him from a deep and troubled sleep. He quickly answered, clearing his throat to talk.

“Yeobosayo?”

“Yah we need to meet, I have something to say to you.”

Jaejoong looked at his phone in bafflement and brought it back to his ear in disbelief, “…Heechulie Hyeong?”

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Jaejoongie says; "Please review!"  Leave a comment!! ^-^

*leans over to author and whispers behind his hand into her ear* "Yah, nobody likes your story"

*author glares at idol* "Oh shut up"