--->Okay, stop right here.

Before going any further, I have to warn readers that there's gonna be a gender-switch for one of the characters (because the author (that's me) decided that this parody shouldn't be completely male-dominated).

So if you, like some of my picky friends, are the type that pukes all over your laptop screen as soon as you imagine your bias wearing dresses and batting eyelashes, YOU ARE EXCUSED. (I welcome critical, but not hypocritical.)

Those of you with tolerant guts, READ ON.

Kyuhyun walked towards the entrance in careful steps, which was wide open in a welcoming manner as if it has been expecting him.

The entrance had a sign that said 'Queen Leeteuk's Castle'.

When he went in further, Kyuhyun saw two people leisurely chatting and strolling in a white rose garden; one was the White Queen no doubt, and, by the look of the shining armour, the one accompanying the Queen had the appearance of a knight (in shining armour that had a name tag 'Kangin', because it's just more convenient for the author like that).

Kyuhyun went up to the pair, still holding the white angel feather in his hand.

"Excuse me." he said cautiously.

That was totally not how a man of royal family usually initiates the conversation, but whatever, the author doesn't care. The author doesn't know how to write that, okay.

The Queen and the knight turned their heads to Kyuhyun, and it was the Queen who spotted the feather first.

"Oh, my!" she exclaimed. "You brought me my favourite! You must be the human that the Cheshire Cat talked to me about."

How fast does that damn cat move?

"I'm pretty sure I am." Kyuhyun replied regardless.

"Welcome to our castle, visitor." the Queen said generously, accepting the feather in a very princess-like gesture and then stuffing it roughly in her bosom like a boss. "Now. I believe you're here for some kind of information."

"The Cheshire Cat told me that you know the way to meet the Red King." said Kyuhyun.

"The Red King?" the Queen's face suddenly went pale, and she immediately formed tears around her eyes without even a chance for Kyuhyun to have expected them.

"Uh....." Kyuhyun hesitated. "Are you okay?"

It was the knight, Kangin, who answered instead.

"She's alright." said Kangin as if it was nothing. "Our queen gets emotional a lot."

"Oh." Kyuhyun pulled a bewildered expression, still racking his brain to figure out what the heck it was he said that upset the sensitive queen so much. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" the Queen started to sob, burying her face in both hands. "I feel so bad!'

"Your Highness, it's fine." Kangin tried to console her. "He didn't mean that."

"He's sorry!" the Queen cried. "And now I'm sorry because he's sorry! I'm such a horrible person for making someone feel sorry!"

"He's not sorry, Your Highness, it's okay." Kangin patted her shoulder.

He then nudged Kyuhyun without the Queen realizing.

"Quick, unapologize." Kangin whispered.

"What?" Kyuhyun frowned.

"Unapologize, say you're not sorry." the knight urged.

"I'm....not sorry." Kyuhyun obliged with an unsure face.

And the Queen glanced up at him with watery eyes.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh, that's good." she wiped her tears off with the handkerchief from Kangin. "I'm terribly sorry. It's just that...when you mentioned the Red King....I just couldn't help but think of my poor child!"

"Child?" Kyuhyun was startled at the sound of it.

"The Red King resembles our queen's third son." Kangin explained. "She has twelve sons. But she can't see her sons anymore, and she misses them so much, that's why she cries whenever someone talks about the Red King. She cried when she met the Cheshire Cat a few moments ago, too, because he looks a lot like her eldest son."

Kangin leaned towards Kyuhyun to quietly add the next words.

"Unfortunately, I make her cry once in a while as well, because her fourth son and I look alike."

"I see." Kyuhyun nodded slowly.

'No, I don't see.' he thought.

I mean, how come they all resemble the Queen's sons?

The Queen blew her nose loudly with the handkerchief and handed it back to Kangin, who awkwardly chucked it behind him.

"It's my fault that they all ran away." the Queen sniffed.

"They didn't run away, Your Highness." Kangin persuaded gently. "They just decided to leave you because they were tired of listening to you nagging."

"If only I'd let them do what they wanted to do." the Queen was on the verge of tears again, her voice cracking. "I mean, I didn't have to scold my eldest for kissing his brothers in public. If he wanted to do that so much, then maybe I should have let him."

"Yeah, and fans cheered for that, too." Kangin agreed. "Maybe you really should have let him do it more."

"And my second son..." the Queen continued to whimper, her tears dropping to the ground. "I shouldn't have pushed him too hard to study Korean. He was happy with his broken speech, and I ruined his happiness by forcing him to pronounce words correctly."

"It still didn't fix him completely, though." Kangin shook his head disappointed. "He couldn't distinguish 'button' from 'bottom', which was dangerous."

"My third son was taking a photo of himself to tweet it like he always did, and he got annoyed because I messed it up by sticking my head in it!"

"Well, the only person allowed to stick his head in it is your tenth son." commented Kangin.

"What did I do to my fourth?" the Queen lamented. "I called him raccoon!"

"For some reason, I'm not very impressed with that." Kangin stiffened his expression.

"Not to mention my fifth son, who used to eat too much that I had to change the key to the food storage." the Queen's sobs grew higher.

"Ah, yes, I remember him eating up the door to the food storage so he could get access." Kangin recalled.

"What about my sixth son?" the Queen wept. "He loved to drink wine with my youngest son behind locked doors, and I was too worried something might happen to them, so I got rid of his favourite pink pajama dress as a punishment. He must have hated me."

"For your information, your youngest son got him a new pink pajama dress." Kangin comforted her. "It was see-through, and he liked it even better. So don't be too harsh on yourself."

"I even stole and drank all the strawberry milk that my seventh son bought!"

"Oh yeah, that reminds me, he called yesterday. Said he still hasn't forgiven you for that. You owe him a hard drive loaded with videos."

"My eighth son called me as well, and said he missed his family, so I was gonna say I missed him too, but it turned out that what he meant was he missed his FISH family!"

"Well, there's this goldfish he keeps and-"

"And my ninth one." interrupted the Queen, her whole body shivering in sorrow. "He's just so handsome when he's , I couldn't help but smack him on the face with his Bible!"

"Thanks to that, he has been devoted to God since then. Bless him."

"My tenth son and I argued about whether this in a drama should die in an accident. I said no, and he said yes. The drama let the live, and he never talked to me since then!"

"He's still waiting for the sequel, by the way."

"And my eleventh one." the Queen paused for a hiccup. "Where the hell IS he, anyway?"

"He's still filming that sequel."

"Oh, we shouldn't leave out my precious youngest." the Queen cried. "He was the hardest to handle. He teased his older brothers until they were all so pissed off that they threw his computer out the window, and he also picked fights with his brothers' pets, he was such a brat....And he just wouldn't quit playing games, so I hid his PSP for a week, then he wrote on my precious white wall, 'Give it back, or I'm gonna blab to the world that you never put your used underwear out for washing.'"

'Well, of course he would.' thought Kyuhyun rather indignantly. 'Hiding someone's PSP, that's a crime!'

"Now, now, stop crying, Your Highness." Kangin soothed. "You may have been a horrible mom, but you weren't so bad as their punch bag."

"Really?" the Queen said in a hopeful voice.

"Of course." Kangin assured. "They loved stressing out on you. There, there."

Kyuhyun knew that the timing was off, but he just had to ask one question.

"So, you have twelve sons?"

"Yes." the Queen answered. "They're all sweet kids. Except when they're not."

"But you look so young to be a mother of twelve children." Kyuhyun commented before he could stop himself.

"Does that mean I'm not qualified to be a mother?" the Queen screwed her face in tears again.

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant, I'm sorry." Kyuhyun said hurriedly.

"You're sorry?" she squeaked, bursting out crying harder. "I'm sorry that you're sorry!"

'Oh, .' thought Kyuhyun.

"No, I'm not sorry." he quickly reversed his words. "I'm really NOT sorry."

"You're not sorry that I'm sorry that you're sorry?"

"I'm sorry that you're sorry that I'm sorry, but I'm really not sorry that you're sorry that I'm sorry."

Whatever the .

"Okay." the cries ceased.

Well, she got it.

Kyuhyun let out a sigh of relief.

"So you'd like to know how to get to the Red King?" the Queen suppressed the sobs and gathered herself together.

"Yes." Kyuhyun chose the word with extra care.

"Please come with me."

The White Queen led Kyuhyun into the castle, inside of which was merely a spacious lounge-like area with a gigantic mirror erected in the middle.

The Queen slid across to the mirror, and Kyuhyun followed.

"What do you see?" asked the Queen.

"Myself." Kyuyun stated the obvious.

"Great. But you'll see more than that once you walk in." said the Queen. "Please step inside."

"Step inside?" Kyuhyun scowled. "Into the mirror?"

"This mirror will take you to the Red King's castle."

'It will crash my head when I bump into it, more like.' Kyuhyun thought.

But he didn't want the Queen to break down in tears again, so inhaled deeply and went forward.

"Please send my best regards to the Red King."

These were the last words from the White Queen.

Kyuhyun couldn't respond, because, as soon as Kyuhyun touched the mirror, he was into a wholly different scene.