Miracles in December - EXO

Chapter 47: Broken Hope.

I exhaled deeply, liking the comfort my body was gaining from the hot waters of the spring as well as the rough but quite refreshing hands of Sehun on my back. Fortunately, only the two of us were bathing inside. I didn’t really mind if there were also other people present, but I didn’t want others to give any more disturbance to us more than there already was. Even if Sehun and I had tried hard to keep quiet about the matter that happened a few days ago with Jaera and Jongmi, I knew that both of us were still very much bothered by it.

I, myself, am not very fond of Jongmi, Sehun as well, but it wasn’t the same for Jaera; the two of them were very close to each other that they were already like sisters. I wasn’t in favour of Jongmi, but I can see that with her presence, Jaera was happy, and vice versa. It was very apparent to everyone that they treasured their friendship greatly, so seeing everything they worked so hard to preserve be trashed and impaired because of me, made me so remorseful.

It’s not even because of the guilt that it came with, but knowing that Jaera was hurting without me being able to do anything about it, hurt twice as much.

“How’s Jaera?” I asked all of a sudden, causing for Sehun to a stop for a moment.

Continuing after a few seconds, Sehun eventually answered. “She’s fine. She was hurt of course, because of what happened between her and Jongmi, but she’s a strong woman.”

I nodded in understanding, a part of me being relieved upon knowing that Jaera was fine. For the past few days, we barely got to see each other. It wasn’t because I wanted it to be like so, but it’s because I had to refrain myself from seeing her. Jongmi had been clinging onto me as if her life depended on it, and even if I hated it as much as I hated her, I couldn’t do anything. If I push her away, who knows what else she could do to Jaera. I know that they had been friends, but Jongmi could be so irrational that she forgets to think about the consequences of her actions.

Knowing this, I wouldn’t want Jaera to suffer from Jongmi’s mistakes.

“You know, we’ve been trying to avoid the subject, but you should really settle things with Jongmi sooner.” Sehun spoke again, his hands on my back slowing its pace. “I don’t want to see Jaera suffering anymore.”

It’s the same for me; never have I wished for Jaera to feel any pain nor misery.

“I love Jaera, hyung.” Sehun declared. “Do you love her?”

It wasn’t a surprise to me anymore. Since the beginning, from the day I saw the two of them inside my condominium unit when they were still in not so good terms, I already assumed that Sehun harboured feelings for her. I knew it since the beginning, yet I still managed to fall and give in to my desires, not even thinking about how my cousin’s feelings would be. Thinking about everything, I knew that it was all my fault. The current situation wouldn’t be like so if I hadn’t became so careless and insensitive to others. I was selfish, I only thought of my own, and I had taken things for granted.

With a thick skinned face, I nodded. “I do.”

Expecting for some kind of uncomfortable silence to follow, I was met by a commanding voice.

“Then heal her.” Turning my body around, Sehun stared at me seriously; his eyes filled with nothing but fortitude. “If you hurt her, then heal her as well. Jaera already went through a lot and even though she is still strong, reality is that, one can only endure so much.”

It was true; Jaera had done nothing but to receive pain from me in exchange of healing my miseries. She, who had been through so much in her life, even opted to do so much for someone like me, a self-centered person who only cared about himself.

“Don’t even try to think of giving up now, hyung,” Sehun’s voice interrupted my thoughts, letting me see the big contented smile on his face. “Not when I already did.”

I don’t deserve her; she was someone who deserved more, but that doesn’t mean that I would stop myself from falling deeper. Jaera was someone that I would never give up on. I may have always had it my way, not caring about anything else, but even just for the last time, I wouldn’t give up on her and continue to pursue my feelings. I can give up everything and anything, but not my love for her, for it would be the cease of me.

Ruffling Sehun’s damp hair, I let out a chuckle—one of which showed how proud I am as his older cousin. “I never planned to.”

Sehun nodded, grinning like a fool as I got up from the spa. “Where are you going?”

“To fix everything.” I said, wrapping my towel tightly around my lower body before pointing towards the exit. “But I have to take a shower first; wouldn’t want to let this glorious body stink.”

“I’ll stay here for a bit more then,” Sehun lowered his body in the waters, closing his eyes in utter satisfaction. “But… nice round you have there, hyung.”

I shook my head with a sneer. Despite the fact that I’ve wronged him so many times already, Sehun still stayed. He had plenty of times to get mad at me, to hate me, but even so, he never did. He remained firm and stayed loyal to me, giving me support in everything.

I don’t even know what I did to deserve him and Jaera. And just like how I am so clueless, I also don’t know what I would do without them. They were the most important people in my life, and I would give up anything just for them.

A huge part of me felt relieved in being able to sort out my thoughts; however, it wasn’t that long when my mind was jumbled again and my focus went astray, once I heard a loud thud coming from the changing room.

“Ahjussi?!”

I initially thought that I had gone mad, that seeing Jaera in the changing room with only a sheer bathrobe on was an effect of my overthinking. I tried to persuade myself to think like so, that my mind was only playing with my sight, but even as I slapped or pinched myself, the sight of Jaera never seemed to fade.

“Lu Han-hyung, is there something wrong?” Sehun’s voice boomed from the spa, snapping me out from my trance. “I thought I heard—“

“I only dropped something!” I yelled back, making sure the door was closed.

Without even thinking twice, I immediately grabbed Jaera’s hand and pulled her with me inside one of the very skimpy shower room cubicles. Once we were inside, I locked the knob and sighed in relief, turning to her with a very annoyed expression. “What the hell do you think you’re doing here?!”

With her wide enlarged eyes, Jaera looked at me in utter shock. “I-I thought that this was the female’s bath… Jongmi told me that it was moved…”

“It was but they already switched it back, didn’t you see the sign on the way here?!” I asked in frustration, only to see Jaera shaking her head furiously.

I was, by all means, vexed by this. I mean, why would they even switch the male and female’s spa? Sure, they said that it was under construction, but that wasn’t a plausible excuse. What’s more irritating is the fact that Jaera didn’t see such a big placard posted near the entrance. What if other men saw her? She didn’t even look first and just entered. It was so stupid, so, so stupid, that I can’t even think clearly.

But nothing good would happen if I continue to be mad; it would only make things worse for her. Heaving a heavy sigh, I creased my eyebrows and spoke. “Good thing there aren’t any other men inside except for Sehun, but we’ll have to wait for him to finish before you can go out.”

Nodding her head, Jaera sighed in relief. “Okay—“

Not noticing the small puddle of liquid soap on the marble floor, Jaera's foot suddenly slipped, causing for her to instincti