Heart Attack - EXO

Chapter 41: Pain of the Reality.

Just in time when the slight drizzle stopped from pouring, our Math instructor dismissed us. Hearing the school bell ringing, I bit my bottom lip and started keeping my studying materials in the small backpack of mine. Normally, I don’t take long in fixing my things, but I’ve decided to take my time and just wait until everyone in the room goes out, including my seatmate, Sehun.

I would be lying if I said that there hasn’t been a change ever since yesterday. In front of our friends and classmates, Sehun still acted like how he usually does—bored and passive—and I as well, tried my best to act naturally. Tao and the others thought that we finally made up after having a small argument, but even though it looked like so, it wasn’t entirely the case, or so as I thought.

“You done?” The deep sound of Sehun’s voice reached my ears, causing for my head to jerk a bit. Turning to my side though, I saw him looking at me with a smile—one of which I haven’t seen these past few days. “Come on, Tao and the others already went ahead. Let’s go home.”

A part of me was hoping that if possible, I’d go home by myself today. Call it as an act of selfishness or so, but I reckoned Sehun wouldn’t want to stay anywhere near me alone, and I thought that it would be the wisest decision as well. In spite of wanting to go solo for the remainder of the afternoon though, I found myself nodding towards Sehun and following behind him, timidly taking one step at a time. The corridor was noisy; students were scattered everywhere. Classes just ended and everyone was pretty hyped up, with the sole exception of me and Sehun though, for the air around us spoke of nothing but stillness.

Honestly, I’ve already expected for something like this to happen. It wasn’t much of a surprise for me to suddenly be silent amidst being with Sehun; however, my heart can’t help but feel pricked each and every time I get alone with him. It wasn’t because I was uncomfortable, but I felt that I didn’t deserve staying even in a meter distance away from him. Every second that passed by felt like torture, being reminded of the things that happened on the hallway of our building. More so since, as unbelievable as it may sound, Sehun had managed to act like nothing important has happened. It pained me to see the smile on his face; it was sweet and loving, covering the anguish and agony that lingered underneath—one of which was caused by me.

The ordeal never disappeared, and it only heightened when I felt a soft cloth encircling my bare neck upon arriving outside the building. Looking upwards, I saw Sehun looking at me seriously, a sad smile playing across his lips. 

“Please don’t be like this.” Sehun said, tying his white scarf on my neck as I stared back at him deeply. “Don’t… don’t push me away.”

It made me still, unable to form the real words that I wanted to speak of, fearing that my words would only make things worse. “Sehun… I—“

“Isn’t it enough for you to reject me that you even have to avoid me?” Sehun asked calmly, and I could do nothing but shake my head, still staring back at his eyes sincerely. He stayed silent for a couple of seconds before eventually patting my head with a smile. “If you’re thinking that I wouldn’t want to be friends with you anymore after what happened, then your mind’s misleading you. I promised you that I won’t leave you… and no matter what, I’ll stick to it. Things might be uncomfortable for you… and for us, but could you at least give me the luxury of still being your… best friend?”

Hearing him speak of his true feelings made a part of me happy and loved, but the pain and guilt brought about by what I did and what I can’t do, overshadowed everything. More so because ever since, Sehun had gave me nothing but his pure sincerity and affection. However, hearing his words stirred something inside of me, making me realize that I’ve been speaking ill on his behalf. Forgetting might be impossible, but Sehun wasn’t that shallow; he wouldn’t hate me for receiving a mere rejection, and I’ve failed to see that.

He is my best friend, and I wouldn’t refuse to give him something as precious as the friendship that we have. It wasn’t for the sole purpose of relieving myself of the guilt that I hold, but because Sehun deserved it. We hold something special that no one else can understand, and never would I want to deny it to the whole world—our friendship.

“Of course, Sehun,” I finally mustered up my voice and responded, putting on a smile that would match that of Sehun’s. “I would be the happiest to forever be your best friend.”

“Can I…” Sehun said, his lips in uncertainty before turning back to me. “Can I hug you? Just so I could finally relieve myself… but it’s okay if you don’t want—“

Without letting him finish his words, I immediately encircled my arms around his waist—the area where I could only reach—and looked at the ground, avoiding the surprised look in his eyes. Snapping from his mild stupor, he then brought his hands to my shoulders and hugged me back. It was short and fleeting, but our sentiments were shared, and I was able to feel Sehun’s warmth again.

Just when we got off from each other, the sound of a car’s honk suddenly resonated across the field, wiping off the smile on both my and Sehun’s faces. With a red BMW stopping just right in front of us, the windows opened, revealing the faces of our good friends whom we haven’t seen in quite a while. “Jongmi, Kai, your classes just ended now?”

“Yeah, and we knew yours end around this time too, so we thought why don’t we just go home together?” Kai asked, giving us a smile. He then turned to Sehun and spoke. “You should come along too, Sehun.”

Looking at each other for inquiry, Sehun and I then smiled before occupying the backseat of Kai’s car. After making sure that we’re buckled up, the car then started running again, returning back to the road.

“Actually, we won’t go home yet.” Jongmi suddenly said, looking back at us with an excited smile. “Kai-oppa’s going to accompany me to our resident boutique. They need to get my measurements as soon as possible.”

“Measurements?” I asked, raising an eyebrow in utter confusion.

It was the same for Sehun; however, after a couple of seconds, his eyes then widened before showing an expression of disinterest and clicking his tongue. “Ah, that… it’s that time of the year again, huh.”

Hearing Sehun’s remark, a frown managed to appear on Jongmi’s face as she rummaged inside her yellow satchel. It didn’t help me though, for my curiosity only heightened; added with Kai’s soft chuckle, I was brought into a state of absolute confusion, only managing to snap out when Jongmi finally straightened her back with light yellow envelopes in her hands. She then turned to both Sehun and me again as she handed us the envelopes. “Here, I found it!”

My curiosity getting the best of me, I opened the envelope slowly and marvelled at the intricate designs adorning the white piece of cardboard inside. I snapped out of my mild stupor however, upon finally understanding what they were talking about. “Your birthday’s on Christmas Eve?”

“Yes! I’m finally turning eighteen!” Jongmi chirped, beaming in excitement and causing for me to chuckle whereas Sehun snort.

“Wow, that’s really good, Jongmi,” I said, smiling as well before putting the cardboard back to its envelope. “And I’m invited?”

“Of course, you are! You’re my closest friend after all!” Jongmi squealed, suddenly grabbing both of my hands as she looked at me with her bright and shining eyes. “You should come, okay? You too, Sehun!”

Affected by J