Your's Pov:

“She knows how to get here?” L.Joe asked me for the fifth time.

“Ne,” I answered impatiently. We were at the waiting area waiting for Chorong. L.Joe and I had come down directly after school. Chorong said she had applied for leave just for the appointment.

The lift door opened and, finally, Chorong appeared. She was wearing a body-hugging T-shirt and jeans. “Chorong, this is L.Joe,” I said. L.Joe’s eyes were wide open, looking at the wall behind Chorong. Chorong smiled broadly and held up her hand for a handshake.

“Annyeonghaeseyo L.Joe. I’ve heard a lot about you,” Chorong said, obviously trying to tease me.

L.Joe looked surprised, as if Chorong was some superstar. Have they met before? His eyes did not meet Chorong’s. Instead, he kept on staring at me, then at the wall behind Chorong. He seemed to be avoiding her.

“Oh, Chorong.” He shook his head for a while. Chorong’s hand was still up. “Oh, Chorong, Chorong. Annyeong, Chorong,” he said, waving to Chorong instead. Then he massaged his forehead for a while.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing,” L.Joe whispered, “just another headache. Chorong is too beautiful, she’s giving me a headache.”

Chorong laughed and we went to the waiting area. Dr Shin came out shortly, inspecting L.Joe. Chorong greeted Dr Shin, but he was too intent on studying L.Joe.

“Dr Shin, this is L.Joe.” I pointed at L.Joe, then at Chorong. “And this is Chorong.” I introduced.

Dr Shin turned and looked at Chorong for a while, then said, “Ne, Chorong, can you follow me to the room? Dr Shin asked.

“Bwoh?” L.Joe whispered. He crossed his legs and bit his teeth, looking uncomfortable. Dr Shin then smiled at L.Joe. I patted L.Joe’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. Dr Shin is a nice guy.” Dr Shin then went to the room with Chorong.

L.Joe remained silent, as if he was deep in thought. I had never seen him so quiet before. However, since there was nothing I could do, we just sat staring into space. A few minutes later, Dr Shin came out alone.

“L.Joe?” Dr Shin called. He held up his hand and, this time, L.Joe shook it.

“Come this way, please. Min Young, you stay here for a while, araso? I need to talk to them alone.” Dr Shin said.

I nodded.

I killed time by drinking water from the water cooler, reading magazines about parenting and counting the chairs in the waiting area. About half an hour later, I was summoned to the room. Chorong had left, leaving L.Joe alone in the room. Strangely, I had not seen her walking out. But she had sent me a message, explaining that she had something on.

“L.Joe, you may go out now.” Dr Shin said.

I nearly laughed. Just when I thought things were going to be exciting, L.Joe was sent out. In any case, I felt more comfortable with Dr Shin alone.

“I’ll assign another therapist for you,” Dr Shin said.

“I cursed the previous one. Told him that he would break his arm. He asked for it. That’s why he’s on long-term medical leave.” I said.

“He had malaria, Min Young. He didn’t break his arm.” Dr Shin said.

I said nothing, knowing that he must be lying to make me feel better. Doctors always lie, right?

“It’s true. Anyway, I’ve decided to increase the dosage of your antidepressants. Don’t keep yourself hungry. Have some carbohydrates, like rice or noodles, when you’re hungry. It’ll make you feel better. Don’t let your stomach yell for food.” Dr Shin told me.

“Whatever.”

“I’ll call you again after I’ve assigned another therapist for you.” Dr Shin said.

I was desperate to get out of the room. To meet L.Joe perhaps. After Dr Shin was done, I dashed out and, as I predicted, L.Joe was relaxing on the sofa, reading one of the parenting magazines upside down. But he was not smiling. That was not normal. In fact, that was very abnormal.

He wanted to take a taxi. After much discussion, I agreed. His stern expression somehow made me weak, as if I had to give in to his every request.

When we were inside the taxi, L.Joe said, “Haeundae Beach”

I protested, but he said nothing. And when he said nothing, it meant something. So I went with him.

Oh, gosh, where the hell is Chorong when I most need her?

We took a long walk along the beach, looking out at the sea.

The sun was setting, leaving a breathtaking image on the horizon. The sea seemed to be slowly devouring the yellow light at the horizon. The tide was high, constantly threatening to push the sea to our feet.

We chatted as we walked. L.Joe told me more about his childhood and his omma. He said that he felt compelled to help others when he was young due to his appa’s death. His appa was his hero. I, having nothing to say about any hero, just told him more about Chorong. I was about to mention one of Chorong’s funny habits when he suddenly interrupted.

“Can I hold your hand?” L.Joe said.

I wanted to smile, to jump around in ecstasy and hug him tight, and then kiss him and tell him how delighted I was. However, I just balled my hands into fists and whispered,

“I only allow my boyfriend to hold my hand.” I said.

“Can I hold your hand?” L.Joe asked again.

I looked away from him, trying to find something to say.

“You can’t be my boyfriend. You said that before. You’ve got your…reasons.” I said.

“Can I hold your hand?” L.Joe asked.

That was when I felt like punching him.

“Ani. Because only lovers hold hands. And we are not lovers.”Not yet.

“Can I hold your hand?”

“I am not your girlfriend. I cannot be because you’ve got your own reasons. And I’ve got this curse.”

“Can I hold your hand?

“Only if you’re my boyfriend and I’m your girlfriend, then you can. You’re not my boyfriend.”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“Remember what you once said?” I bit my lips. I was staring at the ground, my heart beating a lot faster. My body seemed to jerk and I was blinking fast. “If we hold hands, my reputation will be tarnished. You…don’t want that to occur.”

“Can I…hold your hand?” L.Joe repeated, this time a lot weaker.

I continued walking. That was getting nowhere. I turned to him, ready to scold him aloud when I saw the most heartfelt emotion in a person.

His eyes were red, and a few tears were rolling off his eyes. He was breathing deeply. For the first time since I had known him, the tough and jovial L.Joe was crying in front of me.

And he did not hold my hand. Instead, I held his and wiped off his tears. Once I took a deep breath, tears rolled out of my eyes as well, and I began to tremble.

We were like two scared, crying school kids who were lost. But whenever I felt L.Joe's hand on mine, I felt no fear. 

Only warmth.