12.
I believe in you.Your's Pov:
I cried throughout the whole journey home. The taxi-driver did nothing. He must have had picked up crying girls all too often.
When I reached home minutes later, I called Chorong. Strangely, all I did was to press the last
dialed number and Chorong’s voice came.
“Chorong ahh, can you do me a favour? Come out now. I need your help.” I said.
A few minutes later, Chorong and I were out on the streets. It was 9pm at night, but the market place was still teeming with people. I approached the ajjuma who always sells fish soup to me.
“Hi, auntie.” I said. She was an old frail lady, but when I greeted her, her eyes sparkled. She must be surprised, for I had never greeted her before.
“Oh, annyeong.” She replied after some hesitation.
I pointed to Chorong. “This is my best friend, Chorong.” I said.
She looked at Chorong. I knew I was right all along. But after a few seconds, she took a step back and bit her lips.
“Bwoh? Huh?”
I started to shiver. This can’t be… “This young and pretty lady here,” I rested my hand on Chorong’s shoulder. “…is my best friend.”
The auntie was lost for words. “I…” Then she took out a yellow paper from her wallet and clapped her hands together. I stared in disbelief. She started to pray to her surroundings.
“God bless…” then she said something that I could not understand. Before Icould say anything, she turned to me and said aloud, “Bye, girl.”
She then rushed off as if she had just seen a ghost. And Chorong was still smiling. I did this experiment a few more times with some other people. They either told me to stop joking, or thought I was possessed by some spirit. None of them could see Chorong. Except me.
And just when I was about to probe Chorong about this, she was gone. Just like that. Poof, gone without any warning. And, as expected, I tried calling her but I could not get through.
I felt so lonely.I went to school as usual the next day, this time, however, feeling like it was the first day of school. I was trying hard to avoid L.Joe, but he was, as usual, as sticky as glue. He tried to start a conversation but I would cut him off with these two words: “Shut up.”
Finally lunch break came. This was the first time that I was not looking forward to it. L.Joe bought my drink, but I went off and bought my own. “Min Young ahh-”
“Shut up.” I said it for the tenth time.
“Let me help-”
“Why are you doing all this?” Now I was boiling with anger. Could it be the kimchi ramen in front of me that spurred me? When I looked at L.Joe, I realised it was not the kimchi ramen. It was his face: his compassionate face that fuelled the anger within me. “Why are you doing all this, L.Joe!?” I was half-yelling.
“I want to do something meaningful-”
“ you!” I screamed. The whole canteen went quiet. Only the sound of the fans’ whirring could be heard. “Don’t give me that ing excuse anymore! There’re more than a thousand people in this school: Why me? Wae!?”
L.Joe was quiet and seemed to be on the verge of tears.
“Is it because you pity me!?” If he was facing me, I could have given him a tight slap. “Is it because you think I need sympathy, that’s why you’re doing all this!?” I said.
“Yes. Maybe because I pity you that’s why I’m doing all this.” He said softly. People were bending forward, trying to make out what he had just said.
“And when you knew that my best friend is an imaginary friend, you pitied me more?! That’s why you held my hand!? Be nice to me, because the best remedy for imaginary friends is tomake me happy and socially involved? That’s why you said all those ing idiotic things at my void deck!?” I said.
I could tell that he was thinking. “Maybe.” He answered softly again.
“That may be the reason.”
“You bastard.” A whisper this time. I splashed my glass of Diet Coke onto his face. Then I smacked L.Joe cheek hard. “You bastard.” I said again, and then walked off.
I was expecting L.Joe to give chase. But he did not.He must have stopped pitying me. I went straight to the toilet. No one bothered to come forward to console me. After washing my tears off, it was time to go back to class. I was
dreading having to see L.Joe again.
We did not say anything more for the rest of the day. I confined myself to my notes and he was absorbed in Mr Kim’s voice.
Gosh oh gosh. What the heck had just happened? What the heck had I just done? An imaginary friend? A one-sided love story?
Suddenly it occurred to me. Now I knew why L.Joe could not be my boyfriend. That night, when he said we could not be together, I had cursed him. I had cursed him not to fall in love with me when I was angry.
My. Gosh. It was my fault. My fault!
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