Minas kickass work! -♥ Many thanks Chingu!

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Fushigi Kaiko…

Fushigi Kaiko…

Fushigi Kaiko…

Yeah, I couldn’t remember who the hell that person was. The name was really familiar, but I couldn’t think of why. I finally decided to just click on the emails and read them, and see if those gave me any hints. I started with the oldest one, which was from the summer between my junior and senior year of college. I looked at the subject line of the email.

‘Niichiwa, Sohee-chan!

The hell…? Sohee-chan? Well, it’s safe to assume that this person is Japanese. As if the name wasn’t a decent tipoff.

How are things in America? I know it’s only been a week since I left, but I miss it already! Things in Kyushu are very nice, but I’m looking forward to returning to Tokyo in the fall. Although I wish I could have spent my senior year in America. Then we could have graduated together! But, oh well… Anyway, I hope that you enjoy your summer! I really have nothing to do, so feel free to visit! Also, if you’re ever in the region, then give me a call. Preferably not from America – you know, time zones and all?

And after that was a phone number. As I read the message, a picture started to appear in my brain. Japanese? Leaving at the beginning of summer? Tokyo in the fall? Graduating together?

HO. LEE. .

NO. ING. WAY.

 I went through all of the emails and felt a sinking feeling that started in my chest and ended somewhere in the lower part of my stomach. They were all similar. She would email me, asking me how I was doing and giving me updates on life in Japan. Emails like these came once every one or two weeks. After three months – three months – the time between emails increased. She also started asking why I wasn’t responding to her emails. As I read through them, I could feel guilt piling onto my shoulders, because I could guess this feeling: I had done the same thing to her as Eli had done to me.

And now I was faced with the same option: I could contact her and try to start over, as Eli had done, or I could delete her emails and pretend that it had never happened. But something told me to keep reading through the emails. I reached the last one from her and felt like crying as soon as I saw the subject line:

Goodbye

With my hand shaking, I moved the mouse over the email and clicked on it.

Sohee-san,

It has been over a year, and I have tried over-and-over again to keep our friendship intact. One time you told me briefly about a man in your life named Eli and how he left you, and as soon as you told me about that, the walls around your heart reinforced. Because of what he did to you, you decided to treat everyone around you as your enemy, because you were afraid that they would turn out just like him. Unfortunately, your bitterness towards him has turned inward, and you made yourself just like him. I truly valued your friendship, Sohee-san, just as you valued his. I am truly sorry for what he did, although I had nothing to do with his act of stupidity. Although you obviously do not value the friendship that I thought we had, I will cherish it. Although it was half-hearted on your part, I put everything I had into it. I had done my best, because I genuinely thought that you were an interesting person. You were funny, energetic, and brought color into my otherwise bleak life in America. Your presence distracted me from homesickness. You may forget me – in fact, you may have already forgotten me. You may have marked my emails as spam or junk. However, I want you to know that I will always treasure my memories of you, even if you don’t treasure your memories of me. I’m sorry that I wasn’t enough.

Kaiko

. Now I felt even more like crap. I went to the first email and stared at the phone number that she had given me for a minute. I reached into my pocket and took out my phone, my thumb over the numbers and my eyes still on her number. I don’t know how long I sat there, just staring at her number. Finally, I started to put the number into the phone and held it against my ear.

It rang once. ‘She’s not going to answer.’

It rang again. ‘It’s been years. There’s no way this is still her number.’

And it rang again. ‘It’s probably going to be some grouchy old man.’

It rang aga-

“Moshi-moshi?”A definitely female voice answered. I swallowed nervously. The Kaiko that I remembered was fluent in English by the time she left America for her home in Japan.

“Is this Fushigi Kaiko?” I asked nervously, in English.

Woah. Déjà vu. Now I know how Eli felt.

“…Who is this?”The girl on the other end of the line asked, also in English. I thought back to when Eli had called me. I had choked on my pizza and hung up on him. If this was Kaiko, then she would more than likely do the same.

“This is Sohee. Sohee Young?” The other end of the line was quiet. “Is this Fushigi Kaiko?” I asked again, still nervous.

“Sohee?” The girl on the phone said my name in a very soft voice. “Sohee… My God, you haven’t contacted me in years!”

“I know, and I’m really sorry -”

“It’s fine!”She chirped.

…Wait, what?

“…The ?”I blurted out.

I heard her giggle. “Same old Sohee – you still have that swearing problem, I hear?”

“You aren’t mad?” I asked in disbelief.

“I was for a little while, but I got over it. I’m just glad you called!” She sounded like she was genuinely happy to hear from me. “How have you been? And why are you calling me now?”

“Well… The reason that I never responded to your emails is because I honestly haven’t checked my inbox since… well, before you started emailing me.”

She laughed, “That explains a lot! Why have you started checking it just recently?”

“Well, I made this friend who wanted to send me some funny stuff, and I had to remember my email address and password, and that wasn’t easy!” I laughed nervously.

“I’m just glad to hear from you, Sohee-chan,”she told me. And she sounded genuinely honest.

“Kaiko…”

“Hai?”

“Kaiko, I’m sorry,” I thought of everything I had done to her, to Eli. I had valued Eli’s friendship as much as she had valued mine. And just like Eli abandoned me, I had abandoned her.  “Kaiko, I’m so, so sorry…” Tears started to fall from my eyes.

“Sohee-chan, it’s fine,”she assured me. “I’m not angry. I stopped being angry a long time ago.”

I thought about what I should say next. “Eli called me a few months ago.”

“Nani?”

I took a deep breath… And I began to tell her everything. I told her about Eli calling me and how I reacted. I told her about me moving to Korea and meeting Kyuhyun. I told her about all of the drama that had been going on in U-Kiss’ dorm. I told her about how I had been spending time with Kyuhyun and how Eli had been reacting. I told her about how reading her emails had made me realize how wrong I was to treat Eli the way I had been.

I hated crying, but as I poured my heart out to her I could feel tears escaping my eyes. I felt that it was kind of wrong, telling her about all of this over the phone – I would rather have her there, listening to me. For all I knew, she was cradling her phone between her ear and her shoulder and was doing her nails, staying on the line but not listening. When I was finished telling her everything, I was curled into a ball on my bed, gasping for breath.

“Sohee-chan… I can’t believe you’ve been going through so much… I really can’t picture all of this happening – I mean… you’re you. You never cried, and you never let anything bother you – at least, that’s what it seemed like.”

“Trust me; I’ve been crying a lot lately,” I sniffed.

“I hate having conversations like this over the phone,”she grumbled. “I would rather be by your side to comfort you.”

“I wish that you were here,” I blurted out. Wait, did I just say that? I had just said it without really thinking.

“Sohee-chan… I wish that I was there, too.”

The wheels in my brain started turning. “Kaiko, what kind of job do you have?”

“Independent artist.”

“So… How would you feel about visiting?”

“I would love too!”She said without hesitation. “When can I visit?”

“As soon as I talk to the guys and ask them,” I told her, already feeling excited. “I’m sure they’ll say yes, but I want to clear it with them first!”

“That sounds gre-oh.”

“What is it?” I asked, picking up on the disappointment that had suddenly appeared in her voice.

“Sohee-chan, I speak hardly any Korean. I hardly remember what you taught me in college, so I’ve been reduced to the equivalent of a Korean otaku.”

“I have four friends who can speak English – and one of them speaks Japanese, too,” I told her with Alexander in mind. As I was talking to Kaiko, I had also recalled some of our memories and I decided that it wouldn’t hurt to try and set up one of my bros and an old friend…

“Well, give me a call as soon as you find out!” She sounded really excited.

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later,” I told her. “And Kaiko?”

“Hai?”

I took a deep breath. “Thank you. For forgiving me.”

“Sohee-chan, my name means ‘child of forgiveness’. I think my okaa-san believed I was destined to be a forgiving person,” she sounded like she was smiling. “I’m just glad that you called. And I’m looking forward to seeing you again, it’s been too long!”

“It has been,” I said. “Well, Kaiko, I’ll go ahead and ask the guys and I’ll call you back -”

“Sohee-chan, I would like to ask something of you.”

“Bwoh?”

“I know that you’re angry at Eli-san, but… We’ve both noticed that you and I have shared the same feeling, just as you and he have inflicted it. Since you know his guilt, then perhaps you should apologize to him? I understand that he did you wrong, but he’s been trying to make it better.”

I thought about what she said. And I hated to admit it, but she was right. “Alright, Kaiko. I’ll talk to him.”

“Arigatou, Sohee-chan. Now, I hope I hear from you again soon!”

“I’ll call you back soon,” I assured her. As soon as I hung up, I dropped the phone and stared at my wall for a minute or two. I sighed heavily and stood up slowly, really not wanting to do this, but knowing that I had to.

I had to talk to Eli.

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...How bout you all? Should she pick Eli or Kyuhyun? ^^ Answers would be moi appriciated!~♥