Chapter 15
Reset
One of the darkest times of my life , when I suffered grief from the death of my best friend. I still have no idea, on what he wanted to do when he said his last words, and sent his last messege. I'm guessing, he's the reason for the surprising attack recently. But Hae said he thinks he knows who that person is. I'm pretty sure, they only know each other by names. I made sure that Tomoyuki doesn't meet Donghae. As, seeing me with my soulmate, might anger him, and they will just get into a fight.
Unlike other girls, I don't like to be a reason for a fight. I take my lovelife seriously, unlike the happy s who squeal in excitement when two guys are beating the hell out of each other because of her. No no. Not for me.
Those nights I spend crying, was an eyeopener. I realize, how he truly loved me, how hard he coped when I kept blabbering about what Donghae did for me that day. And I, I didn't even consider slowing down because he might be already clutching his chest while talking on the phone with me of too much sadness and heartbreak. I remember the heart to heart conversation we had a week after I told him about me and Donghae.
I found that moment very awkward, as I don't like conversations like that , except if I'm the one who's starting it. Because I already know what to do and say. I'm all ready .
It was a cold Tuesday night. In the middle of winter, when he called me. It started off with a "Hyuk-ah" then he continued with "Do you know that I never stopped loving you ? Even though you're already happy, I wish you can still consider this, I love you very much. " I really didn't know what to say. We rarely had talks like this. "O-of course. Why a-are you saying this again ? Just find a new girl who can make you happy . I'll just kill you with sadness." I really didn't like remembering that he suffers heart break because of me. I already told him to find someone new to make him happy, a lot of times. But he wouldn't budge. He goes romantic. " I told you. There's no one out there like you . Not one person can give me butterflies like when you smile. How I always want to protect you from all harm. Believe me, I did try looking for one, but I always remember you. "
I didn't say anything. I was speechless. I can already hear faint sniffles. He was suffering again , HeartBreak Level 10. I hung up, I can't take those things he say. I can't leave Donghae for him, because simply, I don't love Yuki as a lover. I do love him as a best friend. I love Donghae as a bestfriend and a lover forever. Of course, how much I want to hug and tell him everything is okay and I'm going to stay by his side for the rest of his life, it's impossible. I pity him a lot. I may be by his side for a moment, but after a few minutes or so, I'll fade to Donghae side like fallen leaves.
I got over it in a little while............when I realized .......... that Donghae will forever be there for me.....that I'm not alone..........and even if we die.............we'll still be together.
~~
(straightforward Donghae POV)
I simply locked HyukJae with me to see if he get's sick of me. Turns out.... he doesn't . And this guy that Hyun sent or Hyun himself , saw this thing I planned out. I'm such an idiot for testing this thing. With this Hyuk is thee one who'll take the consequences . Not me. This person already knows that I love Hyukkie so much . That seeing him hurt is worse that breaking all my bones, even if it's just one tiny scratch.
I just realized that this plan of mine is creepy and risky. If HyukJae did get sick of me, he'll leave me. And if he didn't get sick , and found out about it, he'd doubt my love for me, and leave me. I'm thankful for Hyuk's attack, even though it hurt him. If if wasn't for that, I wouldn't have realized this idiotic plan I made. It was simply crazy and stupid.
Although I think that Hyuk did get sick of me a little bit, I'm so happy, that he didn't say it to me, as he cared for my feelings. He had quite a patience. I remember getting mad, and instead of getting made at me too, he thought for himself and went to sleep at the couch. Hoping the next day would bring better results. He went to think by himself as he looked around Seoul. Admiring it's beauty . Trying to clear up the problems that have clotted around his heart and mind. As Siwon , Sungmin and Ryeowook told me.
I just realized that he truly loves me. He accepts being the female in our relationship. He's the calm one, when there's a problem. He'll sort everything out, no fights. I truly need him in my life. You readers already know how I act with out him. I will cry, even though , it's half a day with out him, especially with a note saying he'll be back, but not for now. It breaks my heart to see that he needs to stay away.
What more if I lost him? I'd die. But then at the same time, we'll be together in Heaven. I love him very much. I might need a reset button before. But now, he's all I need, and I'm not going to make some stupid plans that could ruin our relationship. PROMISE
``~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
END OF STORY
Comments