13 – Wrong

(Yesung’s POV)

Its just another morning.

I looked to my old phone, which I turned to silent mode. Hundreds of text messages are coming. Mostly from Ryeowook and Kyuhyun, also Jo Eun as well.

I was grunting in anger. Can they understand that I need some space alone? I wanted to forget that I was once a singer. Why did they suddenly need me? What did they eat anyway? I just want to be alone now.

“Why can’t I be normal?” I shouted at the balcony. “I was on top, but I fell. I’d rather stay normal then living with all of them!”

“Just once, let me be something that I’m not!” I screamed. I threw the phone from the balcony, threw it hard so it may shattered to pieces. Threw it hard, to let out my emotions, my fear of flying with them. Threw it hard, that it all might go away.

The sky looked so white in all of sudden. Those blue skies with clouds, fading to white. Why is everything getting whiter? Why? Was it the time I have to go? Was it because I wanted to give up?

It all went white before I heard some chuckles, which turned to sobs. Taehyun.

She woke up beside me, and vice versa. She smiles to me. For once, I felt that I’m married on that morning. She was my wife, and I’m his husband. I dreamed for that, I always do.

“Oppa” she greeted. “Good morning”

“Morning, sweetheart” I kissed her cheeks as we woke up. I got a text message from the members yesterday, telling me that they’re going to Japan. Leaving this sick turtle trainer to his sweet girlfriend.

“They’re going to Japan” Taehyun said.

“I know” I said. However, there’s one thing I only worry about was ... Taehyun.

“You’re going to the chemotheraphy today?” I asked her.

“No” she refused. “I don’t want to”

“Why is my girl refusing chemos?” I asked her softly. She was trembling.

“Jo Eun” she mouthed. “Jo Eun...”

“She’s fine” I said. “She’s fine right?”

“You know I have visions” Taehyun frowned. “Jo Eun. I had a nightmare about her”

“Nightmare?”

“It was actually a week ago” she answered. “But I can’t stop thinking about it”

“Somehow, I just wanted to stop living with visions” she said again.

I sighed and looked to the sky. “I wanted to stop living too, Taehyun-ah”  I said hoarsely as the tears roll down to my cheeks.

Maybe all I need was a shower after all.

I walked with heavy steps to the bathroom. I undress myself and walked in. The shower , as the bathroom starts raining with hot water. The water flows and seeped into my body, washing all the fears, everything, I wish.

I tried hard to pull that smile. I stretched on my lips just to smile. I felt my body warmer and warmer.

But suddenly...

The door opened. I peeked out to see who’s coming.

“Is there anyone here?”

It was Sarang.

Dammit. I forgot to lock the door.

“Just come out, Oppa” she knew I’m here. “I can’t see. I can’t see you, and I won’t”

I came out slowly and grabbed the bathrobe as I wrapped it on my body. Sarang smiled without a reason.

“You used to like this” she smiled. “Also, when we were young back then...”

I was boiling with anger somehow. I pinned her to the wall. I exhaled deeply as I closed my eyes. My angry stare pierced to her eyes.

“Nobody gets in when I take a bath” I warned her in anger. “Not even my girlfriend”

She looked scared, her body is trembling. I breathed deeply and closed my eyes. I heard the sound from her.

“Oppa...” she mumbled, her fear is all sounded clear in her voice.

“Oppa...”

Its... Taehyun?

I looked to Taehyun, who seemed so scared. I remember, I did this to her before.

I’m a bad boyfriend for her. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

I leaned closer to Taehyun, trying to shut her down with a kiss. I missed her so much. I really do. I missed her face, her smile, her scent, everything. I leaned closer, so close to her lips, almost touching hers.

I opened my eyes.

Shin Sarang.

Her existence... It was never true. Its only my hallucination.

I was mad again. My fist, I hit them hard. My fist was landing on the mirror, next to the wall. I can see my blood flowing from it. The pain, it felt nothing. I felt numb. I dont feel hurt at all.

“I’m sorry” she said. My hand slowly lowered, fell to the air. Her eyes are watery, trying to hold her tears. She was afraid of me. I didn’t know she was this innocent.

She hugged me in all of sudden.

“Oppa, please forgive me...” she said as she rested her head in my chest. It should be burning, uncomfortable, it should be wrong. But how come... it feels so warm and different? Why Sarang? Why? I don’t deserve her. I’m just her boyfriend in disguise. I don’t love her.

“No” I said. “I’m the one who should be sorry”

She hugged me tighter. Somehow my nerves suddenly gets calmer. I rested my head on her shoulder. My other hand slowly reached her soft back. I slowly squeezed her back.

I’m sorry, Sarang. I’m really sorry.

<<<<<>>>>>> 

I watched her as she took the first-aid kit from the drawers. She didn’t know what happened to me, and she bumped me, almost fell to the floor. I caught her. She was so close to my face. Her big eyes, her soft skin, her blushing cheeks, her plump lips...

“Oppa?”

“Yes?”

“Your hand...” she said. “Come on”

I released her and hang her hand onto my arm. I guided her to the couch. Actually, I’m okay. I’m feeling numb, and I just want my hand to be like that. But I know Sarang feels guilty and she showed her soft side. Her real self.

“Give me your hand” she ordered softly. Before I held out my hand, she was taking my bleeding hand. She slowly removed the shattered glass on my hand with a pinset. I winced in pain whenever the glass came out.

“Don’t worry, its just a few pieces” she calmed me down. I pouted.

“Although its not much, still, it hurts” I said. “Seriously, you don’t have to do much”

“Its my fault” Sarang answered. “I have to do it”

“Alright” I gave up. “Are you done yet?”

“You can see if its done or not” she said. I saw her slowly applying some ointment before she wrapped my hands with a bandage.

“Done” she smiled. “It’ll heal in two weeks”

“Its so long” I protested softly.

“I can’t make it faster, Oppa” she said. “And, the patient gets a present”

“What present?”

“You see the lunchbox on the table?” she asked. “That’s your present”

“You always bring food for me” I smiled as I looked inside the lunchbox. “Sandwiches again?”

“Yeah” Sarang smiled.

But it all felt wrong.

Somehow, it all felt wrong.

I shouldn’t be yours, Sarang-ssi.

<<<<<>>>>> 

(Author’s POV)

He looked to the penthouse on the other side of the road. It was Sarang’s. His grip tightened to the steer as he looked to the car parked outside the penthouse on the rooftop.

He impatiently took out his phone and start dialing numbers.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Hey, I’m that detective you asked for help a few weeks ago?” he smirked. “I think I found him”

“What? Where? Can I meet him?”

“Sure” he answered.

“How is he?”

“He’s with his new girlfriend here” he smiled.

“I’ll take the offer” she answered. “We’ll keep in touch”

<<<<<<>>>>>>> 

A/N: 

Who's calling who on the last scene? We'll find out soon. I'm sorry for not telling what happened to Jo Eun. However, it will be on the next chapter.