"Jihoon?"

"..."

"Jihoon-ah... please?"

Kyung stared at his friend.
Jihoon hadn't said a word since they arrived - the nurses had told them to wait as they rushed away, pulling the stretcher Taeil laid on with them, disappearing into the white hallways. Afterwards Jihoon had just been sitting there, staring at the walls inside the waiting room, barely moving. 

Kyung sunk back on the chair a few rows away from Jihoon. He felt terrible. 

Jiho laid his hand on Kyung's thigh, "It's not your fault. I know what you're thinking," he said.

Kyung sighed, "Minsoo's one of my best friends. And knowing he did this to Taeil, just... I'm the one who introduced them to each other? I can't help but feel-,"

"You're not Minsoo, so shut up,"

Kyung looked over at Jiho, "What should we do?"

Jiho shook his head, "I think it's better to leave him alone. I don't think he can hear us now anyway,"

"You think he'll be alright? Taeil I mean.."

"I don't know," Jiho took Kyung's hand, who was shaking slightly, "But I really hope so,"

Kyung took a deep breath, both of them looking over at Jihoon.

"You know... I heard the nurses mentioning something about having spoken to Taeil's family," Jiho mearly whispered, "They had said that they didn't want to see him, that he wasn't their son anymore,

"What?" Kyung was shocked.

Jiho continued, "They didn't even care that he was in here, about to die," he paused, "I think Jihoon already knows about Taeil's history with his family, but I don't think we are supposed to know so..,"

"I won't say anything,"

Jiho smiled, "I know. Neither will I."

"I kinda understood that there was something wrong, something with his background surrounding friends, family, whatever, but to not even care when their child are about to die is horrible," Kyung said sadly.

"I know right," Jiho agreed bitterly.

Another good 10 minutes passed by and they were starting to fear the worst. Jihoon still hadn't moved from his spot, and the nurses passing by looked at him mournfully - Jiho couldn't take it.

Angrily he stood up and walked up the nurses standing by the counter,

"Look, we've been waiting here for 40 minutes now and haven't gotten a single update about how it's going with our friend. Can't you see that we're worried to death?! Why won't you say anything?!"

Kyung ran up to him, "Jiho, calm down,"

One of the nurses spoke first, "I understand your worries, but as we can't go inside to ask the doctor, we can not give you any information about the situation, nor what condition your friend is in,"

"Then just go inside and ask! Why is it so-"

"Jiho, please stop," Jihoon finally spoke up, "They said they can't do anything, so go back and sit down."

Jiho opened his mouth to answer, but chosed otherwise, nodded and walked back to his seat, "I just want to know the circumstances, Jihoon-ah. If he's alright or not,"

Right then a nurse came rushing over, "Which one of you is Jihoon?"

Jihoon stood up, "I-it's me," he said, voice raspy.

"Good, please come with me," the nurse said and turned to walk back the hallway she came from.

Jihoon's heart stopped, so did Jiho's and Kyung's. Jihoon looked back at them, tears welling up in his eyes,

Jiho cleared his throat, "He's ok, he's going to be ok. Don't worry."

Even though Jiho's voice was uncertain and full of anxiety, Jihoon nodded and jogged after the nurse, praying that everything was alright.

"I think I might throw up," Kyung said faintly and sat down slowly.

Jiho kneeled down, hugging him tightly, "He's alright. Taeil's a fighter,"

The walk with the nurse seemed like hours to Jihoon, even though it only took about a minute, and the fact that the nurse still hadn't told him if Taeil was dead or alive made him dizzy with worry. 

Just as he was about to close his eyes to pray harder, the nurse stopped and turned around facing him,
"He's awake, but he has lost a lot of blood so he is very weak. The amount of alcohol in his blood made it hard for us to stop the bleeding, but we finally got it under control. We pumped out most of the toxics from hi-"

"That means he's alive??" Jihoon asked, a warm tear escaping his left eye.

The nurse smiled, "He is. I guess you really want to meet him? You're welcomed in, he wants to see you."

The nurse opened the door for him, and Jihoon walked inside. The sight of Taeil being attached to lines of IV drop and blood bags hurt his heart, and he let out a sob when his eyes caught Taeil's. 

"H-how... H-um," Jihoon tried his best to just breathe, but it only lasted for a second before he cried out, walking over to the hospital bed, crouching down and sobbed into the sheets.

Taeil moved his hand on top of Jihoon's head, "I'm sorry," he whispered in a low raspy voice.

Jihoon sobbed even harder when Taeil's voice reached his ears, and he looked up at his boyfriend, "H-how are y-you feeling?" he managed to get out, "Baby I've-"

Tears escaped Taeil's eyes, "I'm so sorry," 

Jihoon heard someone clear his throat and he looked up, it was the doctor.

"Hello, mister. As the nurse probably already told you, Lee Taeil has lost a lot of blood and is very weak. We had to sanitize his wounds thoroughly, he also had to get stitches which needs to be taken out after a few weeks, I will give you more information about that later."

Jihoon listened carefully, "Will he be ok?"
The doctor smiled, "He will be ok, but regarding what happened, we would like to suggest therapy to be added into his rehabilitation."

Jihoon looked over at Taeil, who shook his head with pleading eyes. Jihoon knew fully well that Taeil would never agree to such a thing, "We will think about it," Jihoon answered for him.

The doctor turned his attention to Taeil, "I want you to understand that it would be the best for you, Mr.Lee. It will get you the help you need. Apart from our own department, we have connections to different private clinics that have great personal and reputation."

"I won't do it," Taeil answered faintly, but certain.

"I understand that it can be hard to open up to a stranger but-"

"I won't do it," he repeated, "Jihoon is enough for me. He helps me,"

The doctor smiled a tired smile, "I don't know what kind of relationship you two have, but I can assure you that professional help-"

"He's my boyfriend," Taeil answered flatly. 

Shocked sounds was heard from the nurses and a smile crept onto Jihoon's face,

"I know for a fact that I would never open up to a complete stranger... Especially not to someone who get paid for listening to people problems without having to put their heart into it" Taeil continued, "I made a mistake. I admit I wanted to die, but now waken up I'm happy to be alive,"

The doctor nodded again, "I understand, " he turned to Jihoon, "I hope you will take good care of him, but the options is always open. Don't be afraid to contact you if you change your mind."

Jihoon smiled, "Yes sir, thank you."

The doctor patted him on his shoulder, "We will leave you alone for a moment, a nurse will also explain the situation to your other friends. I will also call Taeil's parents again and-"

"You don't need to call them," Taeil said faintly, "Don't waste your time, they don't care."

Jihoon walked over to him, holding his hand, "Babe..."

"It's my duty," the doctor answered, "I hope one day they will appreciate their son." 

Taeil looked at him, bowing his head, "Thank you,"

The doctor nodded and left, taking the nurses with him.

As soon as they were alone, Jihoon sat down on the hospital bed, "How are you feeling?"

"Like I haven't slept for a month," he answered, "The drops are giving me chills and the cuts are pounding along with my heart... it's uncomfortable."

Jihoon his cheek.

"I'm sorry," Taeil whispered again as he looked down, tears dropping down on the white hospital cloth.

Jihoon hushed him, "You don't need to talk. It's me who's sorry for leaving you,"

Taeil shook his head, "I was just so angry at myself, and I thought you would just... leave me after you got sick of being with me,"

"Taeil, I-"

"Let me speak, please,"

Jihoon shut his mouth, moving closer to the other.

Taeil continued and took a deep breath, "After I left I panicked, I wanted to get away from everyone, everything, and it ended up with me drowning my emotions with alcohol, like the old days. Out at the club I met Minsoo, you know, Kyung's friend?"

Jihoon nodded, his heart was hurting, knowing what confession would come next.

"I was drunk and... I missed you and wanted someone to comfort me, and he seemed so willing and interested in me. I don't remember what happened that well, but we arrived at his home and we started-" his breath hitched as he paused to breathe, "We almost had , but he was so eager and I could only think about you, but I was also angry at you so I wanted to revenge you but.. ah," he was slowly starting to hyperventilate, "I panicked afterwards and the guilt just ate me up, it drowned me so much that the pain got too much and I only saw one solution to end it. I'm so sorry, I hate myself for what I did,"

Jihoon bent down to kiss him, "Calm down, please. Everything is ok. "

Taeil sniffed, "What?"

"I don't blame you, and I'm not angry at you,"

"But-"

"It's Minsoo's who's an idiot. He took advantage of you, and he nearly made you kill yourself! I swear if I ever see him again I will-"

"You will not do anything," Taeil finished.

"Taeil," Jihoon pleaded, "I swore to myself that if you ever get hurt I will harm that person without regret,"

Taeil let out a small giggle.

"You don't believe me?!" Jihoon stood up, moving his arms around, "I'm more badass than I look! I could easily murder a person if I wanted to!"

"I believe you," Taeil smiled.

Jihoon sighed, "Do you know how afraid I was? I thought you were dead, and the nurses refused to tell me anything,"

Taeil looked down at the bandages covering his scars, "I'm sorry,"

"Is that your favorite word?"

Taeil sobbed, "I don't know what else to say," he tried his best to hide his face from Jihoon's gaze.

Jihoon kneeled down, making him in level with Taeil's bed, "Look at me," he took his hand, "We will start over from the beginning. If something is wrong, we need to tell each other. If I do something wrong, you have to tell me. I will not treat you like a fragile child, nor will I hate anyone who talks to you."

Taeil raised an eyebrow, "Do you hate everyone that talks to me?"

"Do you know how many fans you have at that café?! The girls are giggling and taking pictures of you!" Taeil laughed and Jihoon blushed, "I'm sorry," he finished mumbling.

Taeil looked at his boyfriend, "You're the cute one, not me," he smiled.

Jihoon glared at him, "No," he snuggled up against the older, careful not to pull the needles and lines attached to the drops.

"I love you," he whispered, placing a kiss on Taeil's forehead, "Please don't ever scare me like this again,"

Taeil met his gaze, "I'm sorry,"

"Can you please stop saying that?"

"But I truly mean it."

"I know," Jihoon away he tears lingering on Taeil's wet cheek, "And I forgive you,"

Taeil tried to hold back his tears, all in vain. Jihoon just continued to thumb them away, leaning in to press his lips against his.

________________________________________________________________


A/N: If you, yourself, feel down or going through a hard time, Don't be afraid to contact professional help for therapy or counseling. If one isn't working - change to another one. Don't think you're a burden and share your thoughts to your friends and family whom you trust. Stay safe everyone <3