This was just too hard… I couldn’t lose him a second time. I needed him.

I knew I had screwed up bad, but that didn’t mean that I shouldn’t get a second chance.

He was trying to push me away, but I couldn’t let him go. I wanted him to realize that I had changed. I wasn’t that stupid brat anymore. I didn’t need the attention of millions of strangers to make me feel better. I just needed his.

I was so mad at myself for everything I had put him through. I never took responsibility for the pain I caused him. I just started acting like everything was okay, as if we could just forget about all the bad things that had happened between us. In a way, I had been hoping that he could just forgive me so we could be together again. But of course, it couldn’t be that easy.

When he said that he needed time to think, I was a little shocked. I thought that him kissing me back meant that he wanted to give our relationship another try, but obviously it wasn’t the case. I knew it was a little naïve of me to think that a kiss would solve everything, but it just felt so good to be close to him… I didn’t want to think that I would never be able to feel that way again.

I knew I should’ve given him some explanation, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it; I didn’t know what to say.

I couldn’t say ‘I’m sorry.’ It wouldn’t make up for the things I had done.

I couldn’t say ‘I envied your looks and your popularity, that’s why I acted this way.’ That would just sound too stupid.

I couldn’t say ‘Minho… I love you.’ It would just make things more complicated.

The only thing I could do was to keep my mouth shut and hope that he would come back to me. Was it the best thing to do? Probably not, but I couldn’t tell him all those things. I wasn’t ready yet.

At some point, I started asking myself if Minho had feelings for Jinki. They had gotten pretty close so it was a possibility. I knew for sure that Jinki had feelings for him. I could see it in his eyes. He was probably hoping that Minho would choose him and I was afraid that might happen.

After all, Jinki had been there to cheer him up when I had rejected him. He was the nice guy who you could tell everything to. Sometimes I wished I could just punch him in the face. I hated him for being so humble and understanding. It made me feel like a piece of .

The days went by and Minho still hadn’t said a word to me. I was getting really impatient. He was barely at the dorm anymore so, one night, I decided to send him a text. I was so nervous; I just stared at my phone, waiting for his answer. I was afraid he would ignore it, but a few minutes later, I saw a message appear on my screen.

It said: ‘Let’s just be friends, okay?’

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