I’ve always considered him as a brother. He was someone I could lean on, someone who could protect me from all the bad things. Every time I was overwhelmed by emotions, his shoulder would be there to receive my tears. He made me feel safe and appreciated.

He would always compliment me on my singing and on other little things. As time passed, my sadness slowly turned into happiness. That was something I had never felt before. Only he knew how to bring a genuine smile on my face. I had found in him a true friend.

I looked up to him. When he gave me advice, I’d listen and try to absorb everything. He made me want to become a better person. I wanted him to be proud of me. I did everything in my power to make that happen. I was nicer to people, I didn’t complain as much and I became a better performer.

I noticed his way of looking at me changed. I would catch him staring at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. It gave me butterflies. That’s when we became lovers. I couldn’t have been happier. He was all I ever wanted.

From that moment on, everyone could see the difference. I was more talkative, more confident, and more alive. I got along better with all the members. I was doing everything right. But, it wasn’t enough to keep me happy.

I started feeling like a shadow. He would constantly get praised for his looks and all people would say about me was that I had an amazing voice. At first, it didn’t bother me, but I slowly felt the anger building up inside of me. I tried to shrug it off, but the feeling never went away.

I became more distant and I knew it hurt him. I had a hard time admitting it to myself, but to see him suffer made me feel good. When he tried to talk to me, I’d just stay silent. When he tried to touch me, I’d just push him away. He even cried and I just laughed at him. I couldn’t recognize myself anymore and it felt good.

I started going to the gym whenever I had free time. I’d work out for hours and then come home completely exhausted. In those moments, I couldn’t be mean to him. He would talk to me as my eyes slowly closed and I fell asleep. Sometimes, I could hear him sigh.

At one point, he stopped trying. He barely talked to me. It didn’t bother me. With him out of the way, I could finally be more focused. My muscles got bigger. I felt invincible. Fans gushed over my body and for the first time in months, I smiled again. I wasn’t a shadow anymore. People found me attractive.

That’s all that mattered to me. Not the singing, not the dancing, not the others. I finally realized that I had never been in love with him. I just liked that he made me feel worthy, but now that I had the attention of millions of fans, I didn’t need him anymore.