Chapter 13

Hongki kicked a rock across the level pavement. He watched as it skidded and bounced on its surface. He kicked another one, watching its path intensely.

He couldn’t erase the horrible image from his head. No matter what he tried to do, no matter what thoughts he tried to deflect it with, the picture came back more vivid than ever.

Hongki was losing. Losing Jonghun, and losing to Seunghyun.

Seunghyun.

He hated the name. Just thinking about his name made him cringe. He didn’t have a clue why he was ever remotely nice to him. Oh yeah… he remembered, because he was close to Jonghun.

How had Hongki not seen this coming? They were spending an hour together in a quiet, dim room. The two of them. Alone. Of course something could happen, especially with him knowing about Jonghun’s uality.

Why? Why hadn’t he at least given Jonghun a chance? Why did he have to realize his feelings for him when it was too late? Why can’t Seunghyun just… die? His depression slowly began to wither away. Anger now boiled inside of him.

This time Hongki violently punted the rock, causing it to accidentally hit a walking man in the shin. The man gave him a slightly annoyed look, to which Hongki rushed a “mi-an” (short, informal way of saying “sorry” in Korean) and pulled his scarf higher to partially hide his face.

His fury was raging now. The image still wouldn’t leave. In his mind, Seunghyun now wore a mocking smile. If he didn’t do something, he would probably punch the next passerby in the face.

Hongki paused. He needed to breathe. Or to stop breathing. He just needed to stop thinking altogether.

Without thinking, he closed his eyes and began to hum. An old tune. He couldn’t pinpoint the name because the title was in English. Who was it by? The Bugs? It was a slow tune; a bit somber-sounding, but he remembered that the lyrics were uplifting. He’d sung it to someone once. Someone special to him.

And he remembered everything. The title. The lyrics. That day. When it’d been just him and Jonghun. His beautiful smile that stayed with him even while he slept. He remembered it so perfectly. How could Hongki not have fallen for him at that moment?

This time though, Hongki’s fury didn’t grow. He only sang louder. He belted the lyrics. His thoughts were pushed aside with his song. He didn’t even care if the ahjummas across the street gave disapproving looks. He felt powerful. Happy, even.

He’d always loved singing, especially when he was accompanied by Jonghun’s guitar. It gave him a sense of calm. It came so naturally to him. He couldn’t explain it; he would get lost in whatever song he was singing.

He continued singing, absorbed in the song, when he bumped into a short girl on the path. Hongki was snapped from his session.

“Yah, watch where-” Hongki snapped in anger, but stopped himself when he saw that he’d bumped into the girl, not the other way around.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” He was still a bit irritated that he’d been interrupted from his singing, but he didn’t want to appear rude, especially in front of a girl.

She blushed furiously. “No, I’m sorry… Thank you,” she managed to stumble out.

“No problem. Go home safely, okay?” Hongki chimed with a smile.

“Ah… you… you have a beautiful voice.”

Hongki’s ears perked. “Really?”

“Yeah… such power in it…” the girl nearly whispered as she flushed even more.

“Hm. Well thanks,” Hongki said sincerely.

The girl smiled, bowed a couple of times and walked on.

Hongki sighed to himself and continued on as well. He really did feel happy now. Like no one could touch him. He whipped out his phone and hit 2 on speed dial. He hadn’t had one of his regular talks with Jonghun in awhile. He missed him.

He stared at the number. His smile faded.

Oh yeah.

Of course.

You idiot.

Hongki hit the ‘end’ button on his phone. He stood idly, watching as the phone screen blurred.

No. You are not crying again. Why does a ing boy have to drive me insane…?

Jonghun doesn’t want to talk to you. He has Seunghyunnow. Hongki almost chucked his phone at the wall in frustration.

As he blinked his tears away, he stared up at the brightly-lit supermarket sign. Compared to the bleak darkness outside the store, the inside looked rather welcoming. It was huge. He didn’t have anything else to do, so he stepped inside the automatic sliding doors. He needed something. A sign, an idea. An answer.

The lights caused him to squint at first but his eyes quickly adjusted. He noticed, to the left, was a haircutting salon. He approached it and noticed people still inside. Hm. Still open. A sale sign that mentioned something about hair dye caught his attention. He averted his gaze to his reflection in the window. His hair was looking a bit dull…

He examined himself some more. Ever since he’d transferred from middle school to high school, he’d changed. A lot. Was it because of Jonghun? It probably was. He’d let his hair grow out. He’d dyed it countless times, sometimes with colors nobody would ever imagine. He’d ditched his thick-rim glasses. He became a social butterfly a heartthrob. He dated an insane amount of girls. He learned how to be bold. He became his own, unique person.

…Or was he just a ‘unique’ person? Was this really ‘himself’? Was he trying to hide something under the act? Was this seriously all an act? He shook his head furiously. Why was he thinking about this now?

“Excuse me. Do you need something?” the hairstylist asked politely from the store entrance.

Hongki was taken by surprise. “Oh, sorry-” he stopped.

He stared at the sale sign. A plan was forming rapidly in his mind.

Maybe this was his answer.

He’d just conjured up a plan in five seconds, and he was about to take the first step. He hadn’t even thought about where it was going.

What the hell. Why not.

It was worth a shot.

“Yes. Yes, I do need something.”

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Sorry this chap is kinda short but I just wanted to get this posted now since I'm such a friggin slow updater ._____."

I'll try to update this in like.... a couple hours. Or tomorrow. Because this chapter's kinda left unfinished. hahahha

I LOVE YOU SUBSCRIBERS SO MUCH ;_____; <3