20 - Falling Apart

A/N

Heads up, as per usual, unedited.

This chapter is focused on KikoxDara  then KikoxSeung Hyun

There's a little bit of JiyongxDara and Seung HyunxDara

Seung Hyun was able to catch up with Kiko outside her apartment building. After catching his breath, he walked beside her and didn’t say anything. Kiko just kept on walking; she was holding her tears back. And after walking for a few blocks, Seung Hyun finally sighed and held on to Kiko’s wrist, leading her somewhere. She didn’t give out any form of protest and she just let him lead her.

He brought her to the Banpo Hangang Riverside where they could see the Banpo Bridge Rainbow Fountain over Han River and he made her sit on one the benches. They both looked at it in silence.

Seung Hyun stole a glance at Kiko and he could see the tears b in her eyes and he could also see her trying to hold back her tears as if her life depended on it. He shook his head and nudged her shoulders. Kiko held his eyes and he looked back at her meaningfully.

Just like that, Kiko got the comfort she needed. She knew by the look in his eyes that he understands her. She felt his presence. And when he turned and offered him his back, Kiko lost all control and let out all the tears she’s been holding back.

She spread hers arms against his back and rested her forehead and shed her tears. It was the first time Seung Hyun heard Kiko cry out like that. The mixture of disappointment, anguish and pain was emitted from her cries and Seung Hyun felt bad for not being able to do anything more for her. All he could do was let her cry on his back and let her release all her tears.

Kiko finally settled and Seung Hyun turned to her. He could see the traces of tears on her face and he gently ran his thumb across her cheeks to wipe her eyes.

“This is my favorite place in Seoul.” Seung Hyun finally spoke. He knew that she didn’t want to talk about Dara and Jiyong. He leaned on the bench and looked at the rainbow fountain display. A deep sigh came out from his lips.

“I always go here whenever I’m blanked out in writing song lyrics. The rainbow fountain helps me clear my mind.” He continued with a faint smile and then he glanced at her sending a silent message hoping that she’ll be able to clear her mind as well.

“Am I that bad? Am I that unlikeable?” Kiko broke in, silencing Seung Hyun. He sat up and looked at her with concern.

“Hey…” Seung Hyun tried appeasing her but he was cut off.

“First it was you…and then it was Jiyong…all the guys I seemed to have fallen for chose her over me. There must be something wrong with me…” She said brokenly. Seung Hyun gathered her in his arms and embraced her tightly.

“You’re an amazing girl Kiko. Don’t let anything or anyone tell you otherwise.” Seung Hyun said comfortingly.

“Why are you so nice to me?” Kiko asked as she cried in Seung Hyun’s chest.

“There was once this girl that I really liked back in high school. This girl had bright beautiful eyes and I liked her ever since we were in middle school. After years of mustering up the courage, I finally confessed to her and gave her favorite expensiveBelgian chocolates that I saved my one week’s worth of allowance for. She accepted the chocolates but rejected my confession.” Seung Hyun smiled sadly. Kiko pulled back and looked at him with concern.

“That very same day, I saw the girl confessed to my best friend Jiyong…she confessed to him with my Belgian chocolates…” Seung Hyun chuckled.

“He accepted both the chocolates and her confession…he knew that how much I liked her but he went out with her anyway. They dated for around two months and then he dumped her because he got bored.”

“Why do you still put up with Jiyong?” Kiko asked in bewilderment.

“I know Jiyong is an . But he has his good merits. When I ran away from home, he sneaked me in his house and let me stay with him even though her parents said no. When I got in trouble for cheating in high school, he took the blame knowing that I’ll be kicked out of school if I got in trouble again. When some bullies were ganging up on me, the fat little kid, the skinny jerk that he is, stood up for me and we both ended up getting beat up and our allowance gone. When it comes down to worst, he always puts our friendship first…”

“I want a girl that would choose me and only me. A girl who wouldn’t look at anyone else but me. A girl who wouldn’t choose me over the bad boy with a pretty face Jiyong. A girl who would choose the nice and not so attractive fat wingman of Jiyong. If I like her and she doesn’t choose me, then I don’t deserve her after all.”

“You shouldn’t settle Kiko. Never settle for some douche bag guy who doesn’t deserve you. Never settle for a guy who will not put you first. You deserve better.”

*****

A week passed, Jiyong and Dara became sort of ‘unofficially’ a couple. And although Kiko assured Dara that it was all okay to her, things were never the same again. Dara could saw how Kiko distanced herself from Dara and Jiyong.

She tried to reach out to Kiko several times; she wanted to really talk to her. She wanted to explain herself. But every time she tried, Kiko brushes the issue off and assures that everything’s okay and that she completely understands. Knowing how stubborn Kiko can get, Dara eventually gave up trying to talk things through.

That day, Dara caught up with Kiko in the cafeteria. She was talking to one of her classmates about a project when Dara placed her tray in front of Kiko’s.

“Hey.” Dara greeted with a smile.

“Hi unnie.” Kiko smiled back. Then Kiko resumed talking to her classmate. Dara felt really sad as she looked at Kiko talk to her classmate. The sparkle in Kiko’s eyes was gone. One who didn’t know Kiko too well would not have noticed. But Dara knew her all too well. And she knows that she’s struggling. She wanted to comfort her best friend. But how exactly can she comfort her when she’s the very same person who caused her such pain?

Kiko’s classmate eventually said goodbye.

“What are you doing later? I was hoping we can go to this new cool restaurant I heard. Come on, my treat!” Dara reached for Kiko’s hand across the table, hoping she’d say yes.

“I’m sorry unnie. I have this shoot later this afternoon. It’s for a magazine in Japan…” Kiko said softly.

“Can I come with you? I’ve always wanted to check how things go in magazine shoots. I can be your personal assistant…” Dara said, hint of desperation obvious in her voice.

“Uhmmm Seung Hyun oppa is going with me…He has this meeting with a record label producer to give out demos and it’s just in the same area with the shoot. He’s accompanying me since the shoot will be very late and he wanted to make sure I’m going home safe…”

“We can go out some other time unnie. Jiyong oppa is probably free. You can go out on a date with him and take him to the new restaurant. It’s just that things have been very busy with me lately.”

Dara couldn’t do anything but concede. She knew that things would be different if she pursue her relationship with Jiyong but she didn’t expect things to be that different. To her, it felt like Kiko is slowly slipping away from her right in front of her eyes and she couldn’t do anything about it.

She went to the American inspired diner alone and ordered their specialty. She was seated by the window glass. She looked at the people passing by the streets instead of observing the atmosphere. Her eyes weren’t focused on anything, her eyes and mind was far away.

Seung Hyun seemed to have found a way to distance himself in his own way. He still talked to her like he usually does but Dara couldn’t help but feel that he’s not as open to her as he was before.

Did she really expect for things to be the same again? She should learn to own up to the consequences of her action. She had no one to blame but herself. Why did loving someone became that complicated?

Dara was lost in her thoughts when her phone rang. She absentmindedly placed her phone against her ear.

“Where are you?” Jiyong’s voice resonated from her phone.

“Somewhere.” Dara mumbled.

“Penny for your thoughts? You look like your mind is a million miles away.” Jiyong answered back. Dara was startled and looked around through the window glass. It took her almost a minute to see Jiyong who was standing just a few feet away from the window glass.

He waved at her and threw her a boyish grin. He walked inside the restaurant and kissed her on the cheeks before sitting across the table. The waitress came to ask for his order and he just ordered a can of soda.

“Is everything okay?” Jiyong asked casually. Dara just nodded even though her troubled eyes gave her away.

“Hey let’s go watch this movie later tonight. You’re going to watch it anyway for your movie review on your blog. I’ll take you out on a date tonight.” Jiyong smiled at the waitress, thanking her for the soda and he opened it, taking a few gulps off of it.

“Jiyong…” Dara wanted