It was the one word he hated the most. So detestable that he wanted to erase it in every dictionary ever made. To the point that the mere mention of it ignites a fire that cripples him within.

This word that should have never existed. Ironically, the word that best describes his own being.

Failure.

In all those years he lived, Yunho has been sorry for a lot of thing. Of some, was brought by inevitable circumstances and of some, willingly made, regardless of his own twisted reasonings or doubts.

He wondered when it all started but it happened again and again. Now, he’s full of remorse and unbearable regret.

He wouldn’t try and enumerate all those times he had failed her but there were a few incidents that had definitely made an impact and up until now, is still stuck in his head.

Forever regretting.

He was sorry he couldn’t wish her the most sincere goodluck as she ventured into America. That year when she needed all the good luck from her bestfriend but then instead, he focused all his attention and energy into their group’s own promotion, totally being selfish for a cause that would have to shatter him eventually the following year.

If only he had known that all of his effort to bring their group to the top would be wasted and reduced to nothing after everything they’ve sacrificed, he could’ve instead cheered her on. Lighten the burden on her shoulder and make her feel that he will always be there. But he… But then he failed all that.

Because instead of thinking about her, he had placed himself first before anything else.

Unlike her.

There was also this time when he couldn’t attend her first Korean concert.

Her first Korean concert.

For 13 years, it was an event that was finally happening that gave her an opportunity to be closer to her fans in Korea. She was so excited to the point that even before the event was officially announced, she had called him immediately to tell him the good news.

At the time, he was in a meeting with his manager about arranging his schedule the following year in January. It was the year end and he was very busy. A call, even if it’s from her, was something he would call an unwelcome distraction.

He remembered how stiff his voice was as he answered her call. How the seeping disinterest colored his voice. How right after he answered, it was followed by a cold pause.

She didn’t even try to say what she wanted to tell him. All she managed was to tell him that something awesome was happening in January and then hanged up abruptly.

It was later that day when he heard Jaewon in passing how he would be busy preparing for her concert.

‘What concert?’

Jaewon looked at him quizzically for a long minute. ‘Didn’t she call you to tell you about that already?’

He was stricken by an overwhelming disgust upon himself. If only he had controlled himself and didn’t give in to pressure. If only he had listened, then everything would’ve ended differently.

But now, his schedule was already set for January and that included a musical play he’ll be attending on the day of the concert itself. The worst part was, he wouldn’t have confirmed it if only he had listened to her first. Or more accurately, if he didn’t show his disinterest as he answered her call, she wouldn’t stop herself and tell him everything. But it was too late.

On that important day where he could’ve shared it with her never happened. Because he failed her.

And then yesterday happened. It was late at night but she stayed at the office, just waiting for him to finish his practice.

It was a cold night and she was standing at the empty hallways by herself. She had her hands inside her pockets as she rocked herself against the wall, humming.

‘You’ve been waiting?’

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