I blindly held my hands out to the open space in front of me, hoping to touch something tangible when instead I met nothing but open air, “What kind of gift is this?”

A soft chuckle could be heard behind me and my head jerked in EunNeul’s direction. A hand intertwined with mine and I was no longer weary of hitting something. I held tight to her hand as the sound of our footsteps echoed throughout the room breaking the silence.

“It’s not one I can actually hand to you but,” she let go of my hand and her voice trailed off until the sound of a switch being flicked on had me jump, “I think you’ll like it nonetheless.”

A pair of small hands reached behind me and the blindfold that covered my eyes fell from my face revealing EunNeul in front of me with a smile as she waved her arm towards the open room, “Happy Birthday.”

I glanced around the familiar room, nostalgia hitting me hard as I took a step towards the mirrored wall with bars attached at the perfect height for doing stretches. My hand stretched itself out for the cool touch of the mirror and I could see my smile reflect back to me when I looked up. I gripped the bars with both hands and let them trail to its end as I imagined myself years ago.

The dance practices were the highlight of my day, the idea of being able to dance my heart out for a short period of time was what kept me going. I missed the feeling of being in a room full of people that shared that same desire.

“It isn’t much, but Jong Min told me that you really missed dancing,” I glanced over my shoulder to see EunNeul squeezing the ends of her shirt while swaying her feet from side to side, “I thought you could use this.”

I scoffed and turned to her with my back to the mirror, “Are you saying this dance room is mine?”

Her eyes widened as she shook her head wildly, “No, no, I mean it’s our for the night but I’m actually giving it to you…My instructor would kills me but then again you could afford it…”

I laughed at her rambling but raised a brow at her and took a step forward, “You dance?”

Her hands let go of her shirt as she stared up at my approaching figure. She nervously took a step back and nodded, “I do…”

I took another step towards her with my hands behind my back and a playful smile on my lips that had her blushing, “What kind of dancing do you do then?”

I was within arms distance of her and the stereo behind her. With a grin, I trapped her between me and the stereo, reaching behind her to turn it on. Her hands were pressed to her sides while she held her breath with her eyes set on mine, “Ballroom dancing.” She muttered as the first song came on.

Our eyes were locked on each other for quite some time as the song played out without either of us taking notice of it. I slowly latched my arm around her waist and pulled her to my chest while I outstretched my hand for her to take, “Teach me.”

EunNeul shook underneath me as she took a step closer. I subtly rubbed my thumb that rested on her waist in circles, calming her as she took my hand. The song had reached the chorus and I took a step back with EunNeul following my lead. I stared down at her as she counted off the steps in a whisper while her footwork led me in the direction we needed to go. I watched the girl in my arms with more interest rather than the actual steps causing me to mess up a few times. She’d look up to scold me but her lips would shut the moment she met my brown eyes. I would mouth to her my apologies and she’d go one with the dance.

I relished the expression that formed on EunNeul’s face as she concentrated on following the rhythm of the song and hated it when the song had stopped. She immediately let go of me and went to switch off the song. Her breath was short and lose strands of her hair clung to her neck. I watched as her chest heaved up and down and heard her laugh, “You’re really good.”

My eyes left her body and wandered to other parts of the room as my feet ached to get another good dance in. I nodded my head absentmindedly when EunNeul spoke, “Could I see you dance?”

I looked at her through the mirror, her eyes eager with excitement.

“Sure, why not.”

She clapped her hands together and turned the stereo back on to another song. I turned to face her with a beating heart as nerves overwhelmed me. My one person audience was more nerve wracking than an arena filled with thousands. I listened for a moment to catch the drift of the song and shut my eyes as I let the music take me.

The freedom of my own dance was uplifting after years of robotic dance moves made by someone else for someone else. They weren’t me. They weren’t what made dancing worthwhile. I shut the true dancer inside of me as the idol took its place. The artistic spirit inside of me was shut out as business took its toll.

I was a slave at my own trade. I was no longer the master of the dance but a slave at its feet doing the bidding of our higher being.

For once, in a long while, I was dancing for myself. The movements free, the song matching the moment to a Tee. I was free of the idol image and was once again the Kim Jong In that grew to love dancing. I was the fifteen year old boy that dreamed of being a professional dancer.

The song soon ended. My short lived imagination taken back to the reality of my pitiful life, that I was not the fifteen year old, but a twenty six year old man made slave.

My body fell limp to the ground. My moment of high, was slowing coming down and I began to laugh. The laughs resonated within the room, but the sound soon turned to a pained cry for help. Tears fell down my cheeks to the ground beside me as I realized that I was trapped within my own life. I had put myself in this position. I worked hard to become something I didn’t want to be.

“Jong In, are you alright?” A whisper of a voice came to my ear through the muffled cries that left my dry lips. My eyes blurred from the useless tears, I could see EunNeul sitting beside me and I could feel her hand wiping my tears away with a gentle touch.

“No,” I shook my head while shutting my eyes closed, “I’m not alright.”

Her hand cupped my face as her thumb rubbed my cheek soothingly. She brushed the hair from my face and whispered sweet nothings to me as she laid my head on her lap. I continued to let out the cries I’ve been holding in for so long stain my face while EunNeul continued to comfort me.

“I guess my birthday gift didn’t help.” She mumbled to herself as she continued to my hair.

I choked back the tears as my breath hitched at the back of my throat.

“It did.”

Her hand paused for a moment before it returned to through my hair, “It doesn’t seem like it.”

I turned my head just as her hand reached my cheek and kissed her palm. I held her hand to my cheek and nestled into her touch, “Can we stay here?”

My request was childish, but in this room I felt like a child. I didn’t want to leave its wall nor did I want to meet the fate that lay outside of it. I was in my safe haven.

“Of course.” EunNeul whispered as she shuffled under me reaching out for the bag she had given me earlier.

I sat up out of curiosity as to what she was getting at when she pulled out a pair of keys, “Let’s go upstairs.”