Inside the dorm the atmosphere around us thirteen guys was anything but light. A few fought silently in the kitchen away from the others, while a couple more argued more openly in the company of our head manager. I watched as his eyes wandered around the dorm, his hands were in tight fists at his side and I could clearly see his jaw clench.

It was like this every day after each schedule. One person would do something to upset another, whether it’d simply be a petty problem of staring someone the wrong way or merely stepping on a loose shoelace. The once united EXO who chanted before every schedule, “We are one,” was withered away to a group that now stood by the saying, “I am one.”

Each member had slowly lost the sense of a team as money soon came to play. Others were paid more heavily and jealousy rose at a surprisingly fast pace. It was a common thing to hear the others voice out their opinions as to who deserved the larger pay. I paid no attention to their bickering no very well who their comments were jeered towards, me.

I was the most paid member of EXO thanks to my variety shows, endorsements, and of course the activities under the name EXO. I had no say as to who were given the opportunities but the favoritism amongst us was clearly seen as the manager picked me 10 out of the 12 times when an opportunity would make itself present.

I was the visual of the group per say, at least for the EXO K side. Luhan was in charge of EXO M but even so, he wasn’t paid as hefty as I was.

The money was nothing to me. I cared only for the enjoyment of dancing on a stage I could call my own, but that joy was short lived. I no longer danced as I pleased but followed a rhythmic creation already set in place for me. I was a puppet with strings and the industry was the puppeteer that controlled me and my every move. I did as they pleased and left my own pleasures to myself.

“Kai! You have another schedule!” My manager yelled above the rest and grabbed my roughly by my wrist. I was dragged to the door but not before I heard my so called brothers side comments.

“There goes our money maker.”

“Our? What money does he make for us? More like for himself.”

“Hey Kai, why don’t you just go solo? Maybe then we can actually get some real money!”

The door was shut behind me and I was left with their echoing voices telling me to get lost.

~*~

“Great photoshoot, Kai! I mean really, we got a lot of good pics I’m sure the fans will love.”

“You were really handsome Kai!”

“Amazing, shoot! Can’t wait to see the final product.”

The comments came raining down like a heavy shower. I was soaked to the skin in admiration and my ego was thriving. For a few minutes, my importance was seen and I wasn’t put down because of my pretty face.

I felt important, I felt great, I felt empowered.

“Alright Kai, you can change and head home. Your car is waiting for you outside.” My manager called out from the door to my dressing room as his phone was pressed to his ear. I nodded at him and he left in a hurry.

I turned towards the lit mirror and looked over my body. My skinny but lean body was envied by so many but the price paid for such a sickly image was heavy.

I sunk down into the chair and took out the few pills left from my front pocket. Shaking them in my hands, I shoved them into my mouth and downed them with a long gulp of warm water.

I wiped my lips clean of the remaining droplets and traced over the dark circles that grew under my tired eyes. My insomnia grew worse each time more activities with EXO started to pile up on my calendar and the stress grew to painful headaches that needed an added medication.

I was clearly sick, but to the fans and the rest of the world I was perfection.

~*~

The bleak walls to my two bedroom apartment were enough for me. Its lack of emotion and warmth matched me internally and it’s cold and dull aura matched my frontier to a tee. The few decorations that lined my white walls were mirrors and fan art that seemed to capture the essence of the real Kai.

They were all deprived of emotion and color.

I threw my jacket and keys on the table and walked over to my small bar set up behind my couch to grab a quick drink before jumping into a hot needed shower.

On the way to my room, the phone blinked with two unheard messages. I set my finished drink to the side and hit play.

“This is a friendly reminder of your upcoming appointment on the 21^st at 9:30 AM. Please contact our offices if you need to reschedule-“

I skipped over to the next message and listened,

“Jong In shi, this is your physician calling about your pasts tests with us and I think it’s best if you contact me immediately. We have some things to discuss and I have some other doctors t-“

I hit the stop button and poured myself another glass of strong liquor.

I was fine and could handle this on my own. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The girl will appear in the next chapter ^.^