I sat in the room alone. With the contract still in my hands, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I read over the agreements repeatedly, asking myself if this was what I wanted. Did I want to continue chasing after a dream that no longer was mine?

I flipped the page to where the signature line awaited. My name preprinted below it, my future was already planned without my consent. I set the paper down and looked around the room. Framed pictures of the past groups that all ended, singers that were long gone, and people that I once called family lined the walls as a reminder of the legacy that we all seemed to be fated to.

Our time in the lime light was short lived because our fame depended on our past. Our songs lived on but we ourselves died out. We were fated to eventually fall.

I left deciding to leave behind the papers I didn’t wish to sign.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was late by the time I left the company. The streets were still alive with people making their way to the night clubs or the restaurants that lined the streets. I slipped on my cap and held my head down as I walked around the crowded area wanting to get lost.

No one seemed to care who I was, no one even seemed to notice. I was just another body moving around with the crowd, being pushed and pulled by the other people that rushed by me with places to go and people to see. I eventually brought myself out of the crowd and headed towards a street that was less crowded. I brought my hands to my face and wiped the nonexistent sweat as I happened upon a shop that was playing the nightly entertainment news.

SM’s boyband, EXO, is said to have disbanded. After much talk with the members, the company said that it was time for some to move on…

I scoffed and didn’t bother with the rest of it as they showed past clips of us together dating back to when we first debuted. I remembered that day clearly.

April 8, 2012

The venue was crowded with over 7,000 fans. The day was just beginning and our careers were at their starting point. Adrenaline pumped through our veins, nerves shook our bodies, and accomplishment rang in our ears as the crowd cheered loudly waiting for us to take our first stage together.

I put my mic in place and stared around me as the crew worked to get things in place, the other members walked around trying to shake the nerves off their back as the final countdown began.

“Are you ready for this?” Suho slung an arm around my shoulder and hugged me closer to his side.

“I’ve been ready for this for almost seven years.” I grinned at him as he smiled back.

“Alright guys, let’s gather around!” Suho called the other ten and soon enough we were surrounded by our fellow members.

I took Sehun under my arm and squeezed him as we laughed together. Suho waited for all of us to calm down and looked to each of us as he gave a speech that I still remembered to this day.

“It’s finally our time, guys. All of our hard work, our sweat, our dedication to this cause is finally paying off. We are finally debuting under EXO and nothing…nothing can take that away from us. We’ve worked too hard and too long. So in ten years when we look back on this moment, I want all of you to remember this day to remember the feelings that are going through you right now and say to yourself this is the reason. This is why we do what we do. We’ve worked too hard to not remind ourselves the things we went through together. Now,” He placed is hand in the center of the group and all of us followed suit, “who are we?

“EXO!”

“On the count of the three…one, two, three…”

“We are one!”

I watched the TV as it replayed our latest performance. The enthusiasm we once had was gone from our eyes and our connection on stage was lacking. Everything about it showed that our time as a group was ending as our own needs and wants came to play. We were no longer a group striving for the same dream but a group of guys being forced to run after something we thought we wanted.

As the song ended, I left the scene and headed back for my apartment.

I slipped in quietly, not wanting to wake JongMin up but seeing that the lights were still on I knew he had waited for me. There on the couch he sat with a book in his lap and as I set the keys on the table he turned to me, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” I slipped off my hat and jacket feigning a smile as I grabbed a glass and filled it with water.

“I guess not.” He shut the book he had and stood up from the couch, yawning, “I’m going to turn in. You should too. You’ve had a long day.”

He headed to his room as I finished the last drop of water in my glass, “Goodnight hyung.”

I sighed, “Goodnight, JongMin.”

I could hear his door shut carefully and I stood in the kitchen for a moment staring up at the fluorescent light that hung above. Having enough of the bright light, I shielded my eyes with my hands and groaned loudly. I continuously rubbed my face and sat myself down on the couch, leaning my head on the back of it. I closed my eyes and tried my best to zone out.

But I found myself thinking about them. People like EunNeul. The ones that cared, the ones that would truly miss us if we were gone…

The fans.