“And here is your Chai tea,” the waitress said, placing the steaming cup delicately upon the table in front of me. “Can I get you anything else?”

“No, I'm good,” I said and Changmin echoed me quietly.

“Okay!” she chirped and bustled back behind the counter.

“Why don't you just ask her out already?”

Changmin's eyes snapped to me and then narrowed. I politely sipped at my tea, awaiting an answer. “And why would I do that?” he asked coldly. “We're here to talk about your love life, not mine.”

“I have no love life,” I said. “Mine is completely nonexistent, after that lawyer you had to punch a couple years ago. Yours on the other hand...” I turned my head to look over my shoulder at the waitress, “is just ready to be stoked and rekindled.”

Changmin gave me one of his classic 'what the ' looks. When I still continued to remain silent with tea in hand, he sighed and sat back in his chair. “So Junsu spent the night—”

“Oh my God,” I groaned, laying my head back. “He came to the apartment, I fell asleep, he took me to bed, and then made me breakfast. Then, I made him leave because I'm heartless .”

“What happened between him taking you to bed and and breakfast?”

“Changmin!” I barked, making our neighbors glance at us. “{C}Shut it{C}.”

My partner gave me a half-smile and took a drink of his coffee. He stopped and looked at the contents of his own cup; then, at mine. “You're not drinking coffee.”

“Well, done. You might make a detective someday.”

“Are you sick?”

“No, Changmin. I am healthy as a horse. Physically. Emotionally and mentally is another thing entirely.”

Changmin looked at me seriously. “Its fine. Everyone needs to break down sometimes.”

“Not like I did.”

“That's because you keep it all inside,” Changmin told me. “Perhaps, you should try to discover an action known as 'talking about your feelings'. It tends to make things go smoother.”

I snorted. “Talking about your feelings is for girls.”

“You are a girl.”

“I am a {C}woman{C}.”

“Same thing.”

“No, I'm a woman and you're a girl for not asking that waitress out. Seriously, you're always checking her out, she's always checking you out...”

“No, she doesn't.”

“Yes, she does.”

Changmin rolled his eyes. “Tell me how to talk to her and I will.”

“Fine,” I said and gulped down the rest of my tea. I, then, turned in my seat and held up my cup expectantly. Changmin's waitress saw and, smiling brightly, came over.

“Chai tea?” she asked and I nodded.

She went to leave, but I touched her arm. “Excuse me, I don't mean to...pry or anything. But what kind of perfume are you wearing?” She gave me a quizzical look and I continued, “my friend wears it all the time and she said she wanted some for Christmas, but I can't remember what its called. I don't want to ask her because—you know, surprises and all.”

“Oh, of course!” the waitress said. “Its KARA's new fragrance from K5J. Totally easy to get.”

I smiled at her. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem,” she said and went to get my tea.

I turned back to Changmin who was staring at me with wide eyes. “It amazes me how you do that.”

“Do what? Show you that you now know what to get your waitress for Christmas?”

“She's not 'my waitress',” he growled. “See, I don't even know her name.”

“Park Si Ae. Twenty-two years old, has a degree in business and lives with a roommate named Jung Min Cha.”

I don't know how Changmin's eyes could have gotten any wider, but they did.

“You've been stalking her?” he hissed, leaning over the table.

“Stalking, background checks...” I shrugged and I saw he was about to explode. “I'm
kidding, Changmin.”

He sat back and glared at me. “You're...”

“Her name really is Park Si Ae though,” I said. “And you're going to get her KARA's new perfume for Christmas. Then, you proceed to ask her out on a date.”

“Only if you ask Junsu.”

It was my turn to glare. “Bring that up again and you will disappear from this earth. No one will be able to ever find you again.”

“What is so wrong with Junsu?” he demanded and I growled at him. “Seriously, Jin Ae. He knows all about you, knows what makes you happy and how to keep you that way. He's stuck with you through everything.”

“And that's exactly why I can't date him,” I said, fiddling with the table clothe hem. “He's my best friend and that's all I want him to be.”

“Why?”

“I don't know,” I admitted, giving Changmin a cold look. “I just want to protect him and him staying my best friend is the best way to do that.”

“Okay,” Changmin said. “I get what you're saying. You ready to go?”

I nodded, my brain hard at work for a better excuse as to why Junsu and I wouldn't work. It wasn't for Changmin's benefit; it was for my own.

We walked outside the coffee shop, the late fall air making me shiver and wrap my scarf tighter around my neck. I looked across the street, ready to cross, and there he was. Hands stuffed into the pockets of his black jacket as our glances connected. Then, he began to back away and head into the crowd.

“Changmin!” I shouted, already half way across the street. A car about hit me, honking loudly, but I had my eyes on the retreating head.

UKnow looked behind him and seeing my advance—I could have sworn he smiled—burst into a run. He pushed people aside, sending them screaming to the asphalt. I dodged them, leaped over them. My heart was thundering, fists clenched as my feet pounded against the sidewalk. I could hear Changmin shouting “SPD! Move!” behind me.

We turned a corner in the street, less crowded, and UKnow ducked into an old storage facility. I followed after him, ignoring Changmin's calls for me to wait.

It was dim and musky, abandoned with piles of junk. I tried to even my breathing and unholstered my gun, eyes flashing overhead to the walkway that encircled the building. A shot ran out and I ducked a pile of crates. More pepped the wall beside me.

“On your right!” Changmin shouted and I peeked around to just in time to see him rise and shoot. Phantom gunshots echoed, thundering and unending.

“! Does he have a ing automatic or what?” I shouted.

Taking a breathe, I stood and shot, ducked down again. I'd gotten a glance at him above us, opposite wall. Where I figured he'd be. Sniping was his specialty. Gunshots from Changmin's side and answering ones from UKnow. Then, they focused on me, the crates above my head exploding in a shower of splinters.

The place fell dead quiet and I peeked over what was left of my cover. UKnow seemed to have put up another vanishing act.

“Changmin!” I called, standing from my cover slowly. “Changmin!” There was small reply, a vocalization to my right. Checking to make sure the coast was clear, I crouched low and retreated towards the noise. Coming around the corner, I found him.

The shout that sprang from my lips could not be hindered, not with the sight in front of me. Changmin was propped up against the wall, body shaking with choked breathes. I collapsed to my knees beside him, eyes staring at the crimson blossomed across the front of his shirt. By the pattern, there were two points of entry. He'd been shot twice in the chest. I pressed my hands over the damage, granting a groan from him. The blood rushed around my hand, between my fingers.

His eyes were rolling in the back of his head. “Changmin, I'm so sorry,” I whispered, grabbing for my phone with a bloodied hand. “Just hang on, okay?”

The emergency operator answered.

“This is Detective Kim Jin Ae. I'm at 27th and Y. There is an officer down at the old storage unit.”

Keeping the phone between my ear and shoulder, I kept pressure with both hands, but as I watched, the color was draining more and more from Changmin's face.

“Changmin, come on,” I breathed, unable to hold my composure any longer. I felt something warm trailing down my face and I closed my eyes tightly to try and stop the onslaught. “I'm so sorry...” I croaked.

I felt his hand wrap around one of my own and my eyes pried open, blurred from sorrowful mist. He was looking at me with dulling eyes, but his hand was grasping mine firmly.

“Quit...blaming yourself,” he choked out. “Its my...fault for always...following you around...” His chest was rising and falling unevenly, quickly.

I shushed him, ignoring the voice going on in my ear. “Just keep quiet, okay?”

His lips upturned in a half-smile. He inhaled deeply and the pain was prominent on his face as he struggled to get the sentence out in one breath. “I couldn't have asked...for a better partner...” Crimson suddenly spewed from his lips and he started choking, gurgling, body convulsing with shock.

“Changmin, no,” I whimpered, turning his head to the side so he wouldn't drown in his own blood. His body was going slack on me. The phone dropped from my ear as more blood poured from his open mouth. His body began to fight less and less, weakening as karma red continued to seep onto my hands.

And all I could was sit there, watching. Waiting. A part of me dying with him.



I sat there amongst white-washed walls and white tile and white ceiling. Stark white against the blood-encrusted hands that trembled before me. Footsteps sounded against those sickening white walls, but I didn't look up. Not until he spoke,

“Jin Ae...”

My eyes painfully pulled away from the hands, the hands that had tried desperately to save him. Junsu was standing over me, the iridescent light causing a sort of halo around his angelic face, a face I never cared to notice until now. Until I discovered how quickly something so important could be snatched away from me.

I rose from my seat and we met each others eyes. Like a dam breaking, the tears fell again, wetting my face with words I could not speak. The only words I could utter was the only thing on my mind, the only thing I could tell authorities and paramedics and people whose faces remained blank and ghostly in my memory.

“It was my fault.”

That voice didn't sound like mine. It was weak and cracked from sorrow, dry from the tears that washed my face, painting it with guilt. “Its all my fault.” A sob broke the last word.

Junsu's arms wrapped around me, kept me from falling as he sat me back on the chair. I curled into him, head laying on his shoulder as I stained his shirt with guilt. He held me like that for what seemed like hours. Hours until my face was hot and eyes dried to the point that no more liquid of pain could be formed. I sat there, curled into him, mind foggy and lifeless. Still, all I could tell Junsu was the truth.

“Its all my fault.”

----

I'm heartless, I know.

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