Please note the dates in this story as the dates will change quite quickly at some points. Otherwise the story might appear very fast ;) Anyways, enjoy. Thank you so much for patiently waiting.

September 21^st, 2012

Kim Jonghyun

I slowly placed one foot in front of the other to prevent myself from running away. I really wanted to turn around and run out of this y school. Take some random train and never come back. I looked forward to the day when high school was in the past.

Look at the kids here, walking around with their pastel clothes thinking they know a about music. I almost wanted to laugh when I saw how high they pointed their noses in the air.

I chuckled as I looked through a window to a rehearsal studio. A guy was hopelessly trying to hit the right notes while a teacher shook his head. The teacher looked like he just wanted to cut of his ears.

When the guy finished singing, or rather screaming, the teacher stood up and clapped his hands. “Yes… That’s was… Um, rather good”, the teacher said.

I scoffed and continued walking. Rather good? More like awful.

A girl bumped into me and she hurriedly bowed. “I’m sorry, sir”, she politely apologized. “Can’t you watch where you walk?” I scolded her.

She looked at me with big eyes and blinked. I don’t know if she was trying to look cute but it didn’t work. “S-sorry”, she repeated.

“Whatever”, I groaned and pushed past her. The people in the hallway started to turn their heads after me.

“Damnit, Kim Jonghyun”, I cursed at myself. I just agreed with myself to get this school over with as fast as possibl,e and come out on the other side anonymous. Now that wish seemed impossible with all those teacher’s pets hating on me.

I sighed and turned around the corner when my tracks slowly faded. A dulcet piano sound embraced me in the hallway. I raised my head and turned around to look for the owner of the gentle melody.

My eyes slightly widened. A girl, around my age, was sitting in a small room with a piano. Her fingers smoothly ran over the keys and a small smile played upon her lips.

She looked untroubled like that. Her expression was nonchalant, only the sparks flowing in her eyes exposed her joy.

I couldn’t recognize the melody. It was familiar; I had heard it a million times before. But I couldn’t put my finger on where. The play was soothing and calm. It was simple yet so beautiful. It didn’t fight to beautiful; it just was.

A few of curly hair strands covered her face otherwise the rest was gathered in a thick, messy braid. Her clothes were not pastel, they were navy and white. Simple and beautiful like the melody escaping the piano.

Her skin was extremely pale like she hadn’t been outside for months. She was skinny, too skinny. She looked sick, being that skinny.

As music stopped the sparks disappeared from her eyes. She stared at her resting fingers on the keys almost like she wondered why they stopped playing. A small tear rolled down her cheek.

“What”, I mumbled to myself. I questioned myself why she was crying. Somehow I urged to know why. It was weird though; a stranger’s tears shouldn’t matter. But I felt attached to her.

She slowly lifted her gaze from the piano and she met my eyes. Did she know I’d watched her all this time? She didn’t look surprised as she saw me.

A sad smirk formed on her lips and she tried to smile. It never reached her eyes. She didn’t stop her tears from flowing. She just stared into my eyes with water covering her face.

I got scared. Whether it was her fearless play on the piano or the way her gaze stared at me. She judged me.

That scared me. She read my soul, as she sat there. She knew how I pushed people away because I was afraid. They always let me down.

A cold hand patted on my shoulder. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” A deep male voice asked.

I ignored him and didn’t meet Mr. Kim’s eyes. I kept my back facing him and I stared at the girl.

She gathered her music papers and ran her delicate fingers along the notes. She was weird.

“You can play like that too someday”, Mr. Kim told me.

“I don’t play piano”, I dryly answered. My eyes followed every move the girl made. She was elegant. Every step she took was like a tiny piece of dance.

“You could write some lyrics to it”, Mr. Kim continued. “Sing along.”

My jaw tightened and I finally turned away from the breathtaking girl. I coldly looked Mr. Kim in the eyes. “I didn’t attend this school for music.”

Mr. Kim disappointingly shook his head. “Shame”, he muttered. “Such a shame.”

I didn’t answer but turned to the girl again. She was sitting on the floor now. She fiddled with her fingers while she stared into the emptiness. Her eyes had finally gone dry.

“You’re are really good, Jonghyun.”

I kept quiet.

“She’s searching for a singer for her plays.” Mr. Kim was persistent. He didn’t give up when he should have.

The thought was tempting. Her fingers running along the piano, my voice following. Just sitting next to her when she was playing would be like a fairy tale.

I could watch those sparks in her eyes every time we played. How the smile faded when she stopped playing. People would admire us. Call us the lucky ones.

But then again; I was never lucky.

“It could turn big.” Mr. Kim searched my facial expression for my thoughts.

I shook my head and my eyes darkened. My fists shut. “No.”

My voice was strong and stubborn. “I’m nothing like my brother.”

My older brother attended this school. He was the star and people always talked about him. How he played the guitar, how he hit the high notes. Girls fell in love with him, boys wanted to befriend him. The grown-ups praised him and my parents fondly nodded from the sideline. No one ever noticed the young boy hiding in the shadows slowly humming to himself.

No one heard him when he composed his first song. No one fondly nodded when he sang the difficult notes without hesitating. The girl’s didn’t love him; there was always an older and wiser guy just like him, only a tad better. The boys made fun of him for thinking he was as good as his brother.

No one ever loved me.

“No, you’re right. Jinki-sshi would never waste his talent so ridiculously”, Mr. Kim shook his head. “Maybe you should be a bit more like your brother”, he murmured.

By his words I felt my heart crumble inside me. Another stab from a man who believed he was doing me a favor. Doing me a favor was not telling me how much better my brother was. Doing me a favor would be leaving me alone.

I took one last look at the girl. As I felt the first tear roll down my cheek I turned around and walked away. I escaped the music department and entered the normal people.

“Move”, I shouted and pushed past them. I ran out of the school until I reached the empty bus stop. Then the tears came. I wept like a little boy. Loud cries escaped my mouth and I hid my face in my arms.

I just wanted to be erased form this world. But where do you go to disappear?

As the rain broke from the sky I suddenly remembered which song she was playing.

“Kiss the Rain”, I whispered to myself. The song my mum used to hum before bedtime.

Lee Jae Mi

“No”, the boy said. “I’m nothing like my brother”, he stated.

Mr. Kim’s eyes met mine through the window to the room. The send me a knowing gaze, telling me how off this boy was.

I sadly smirked and nodded. The boy was handsome with a hint of creepy. The way he stared at me before… It was weird.

I didn’t like him at all. He was a stuck-up guy without facing reality. One of those boys who believed that the perfect life would come running into their arms.

I knew better. Sometimes the perfect life never came. If it did, it disappeared again as quickly. Some cruel person up there gave you your life but then quickly tugged it away from you again.

The boy acted so precious but it was obvious he was just another rebel. Maybe he thought that if he acted like that, people would fight for him. But no one fights a hopeless war. Mr. Kim seemed to be the only one with a hope left.

I wanted to let Mr. Kim know that he shouldn’t waste his time on people like that. I wonder if he even was able to sing well. Maybe there was a natural reason for him refusing to sing.

I scoffed and looked at the music papers in my hands. If I was to live a whole life, I’d dare to dream. I’d have a list of wishes lined up for Santa to catch.

That was why I despised people like the boy staring at me. He had a whole life in front of him but he wasted it on being mad at the world.

 “No, you’re right. Jinki-sshi would never waste his talent so ridiculously”, Mr. Kim said.

He followed his words by something I didn’t catch. The boy suddenly looked upset and a frown formed on his face.

His eyes met mine. His gaze was dark but he didn’t look mad. Rather sad. He bit his lip. The boy broke our eye-contact and marched down the hallway.

I let the thoughts about the boy go and gathered my stuff. “Bye Mr. Kim”, I bowed as I passed him.

“Wait”, he said and laid a hand on my shoulder. “If you talk to Kim Jonghyun, would you mind talking to him about music?” he asked me. “Maybe you can make him sing.”

“I don’t think I will talk to him. I’m sorry”, I apologized and walked down the hallway. I needed to catch the bus to the hospital. Yet another check-up to attend.

If cancer didn’t kill me, the check-ups soon would.

I kicked a few piles of autumn leaves as I walked. I have had plenty of time to get used to the thought of cancer. Though it never seemed to reach me completely.

It was like a nightmare, I had forgotten to wake up from. Right now I was still waiting for my eyes to open and face reality again.

I sighed as I dumped down on the ground. My fingers plugged in my earphones but before I could turn up the music something interrupted my thoughts.

The sounds of small cries escaped the inside of the bus-stop. Someone was crying.

The tip of a pair of navy Converse showed from the stop. The shoes Kim Jonghyun wore.

I bit my lip wondering what to do. There was tons of navy Converse in Seoul. I didn’t have to me Jonghyun’s. Then again who else would not be attending school at this time?

I gulped down my salvia and slowly titled around the corner of the bus-stop. I took a peek at the person crying and yes; it was Kim Jonghyun.

His head was bent down and he tried to hide his tears with his palms. But his eyes were already swollen from crying and it was too late to hide.

I don’t think he noticed me there, gaping at him. I was just blinking at him, surprised of my new found. The newest bad-boy to the collection, crying?

“Excuse me.” I tried to push the words over my lips. It came out as a whisper. He didn’t hear me.

I cleared my throat and finally he looked up. “Are you okay?” I asked him with a tiny voice. His blunt gaze made me nervous.

He blankly stared at me. His mouth remained a straight line and he didn’t bother to answer me. It was obvious he had noticed me though.

“Please go away.” His words were not cold and mean. They were almost begging. His eyes showed how lonely he must have felt.

I got up from my place on the ground and I carefully sat down next to him. There was a wall of cold silence between us.

“What’s wrong?” I finally asked him.

“Go.”

I tried to make eye-contact with him. “Come on”, I pushed. “There must be something wrong.”

“Was it what Mr. Kim said?” I suggested.

He finally turned his head to me but this time his eyes were dark and angry. “I told you to go away”, his icy voice told me.

His voice was on fire and he looked like he could kill me in that moment. He was scary.

I nodded and stumbled up from the bench. “S-sorry”, I quickly bowed and went to the other side of the bus-stop again.

“I told you to go away completely”, he said, as he sensed I still was around.

“But I need to catch the bus too”, I pointed out.

There was a short silence as he considered if he was being too unfair. “Doesn’t matter”, he decided. “Go.”

As I had no choice but to stay, I stayed at the same place and made walking sounds with my feet. I tried to sit down on the ground again as quiet as possible.

He must’ve really believed I actually walked away because after that it became quiet. I leaned my head against the wood and listened to his heavy breathing.

In, out, in and out.

My weak breathing chimed in with his and soon we were as one.

A weak humming turned into words. The words turned into a beautiful, quiet song.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation ringing in my ears.

His voice was like a subtle river quietly flowing in the summer. Yet it was so comforting and warm, like hot chocolate on a cold winter day. Like the leaves peacefully falling in the autumn; beautiful like the blooming cherry blossoms in the spring.

The previous ice and coldness had vanished from his voice. It had grown into a beautiful cup of honey; every single syllable enchanting.

His velvety voice was addiction. If possible I’d stay all day just listening to his songs.

By time Jonghyun’s words chimed out and I watched him barely catch the bus arriving at the parking lot.

I was left with a feeling of emptiness.

Suddenly I realized why Mr. Kim was so eager to make Jonghyun sing. It was pure beautifulness. So soothing, so silky.

Then I decided, “I must make him sing.” I may not have liked Kim Jonghyun himself but his voice was certainly not something to miss.

It was almost selfish of him to keep it by himself.

A small satisfied smirk fell upon my lips. I had been looking for something to fill out my last days before death. Kim Jonghyun was going to be the one to make them flow, whether he liked it or not.

I only made one rule for myself; he wasn’t allowed to love me. I may turn out to love him, despite the weak chances, but I’d just have to keep it in.

At some point I was going to be erased from this world and if another person hurting could be avoided, it should be avoided at all time.

“Kim Jonghyun”, I mumbled. Talking to myself had recently turned into a habit for me. “Be ready.”

Jinki bells, Jinki bells, Jinki bells rock! (Special guest appearance by Onew! Should be Jonghyun bells in this story but that’d be off beat.)
Happy 1^st December and thanks a bunch for subscribing and commenting :)