Author:Charlenesa
Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/index.php/story/view/3161/sacrifice-ko-one-sequel-using-ko-one-scenario-and-characters-aaronyan-charlenechoi  


Reviewer: Rox@TC (Timelesscresendo.blogspot.com)



Title: 7.5/10
I think the title gave away what’s likely to happen in your fanfic.

Poster and background: 9/10
I didn’t see a background so I didn’t take off points because of that. I loved the poster but why does Aaron look better than the girl? I’m sure there was a better choice of pictures but I will admit the poster looks really good.

Forewords: 4/5
I understand that you didn’t put so much of in forewords where it was needed.

Plot: 8/10
It’s a typical plot but the ending was great… Very sad which you do kind of predict as you continue on with the fanfic.

Originality: 6/10
It came from a drama; so yeah, I gave you particle credit for the romance with Aaron and Charlene.

Flow: 8/10
It was a bit rushed if you ask me. There should be a bit more organization in your fanfic. I was getting a bit confused at some of the dialogue and thoughts. I didn’t know which was which.

Spelling & Grammar: 7/10

You had a few spelling errors, I think they were more like typos. You grammar is good although I think you had some sentences that were awkward run-ons. You could separate them. It does not need to be one whole sentence. Sorry, I did not put all of them but I am to inform you that you did have a bit of them.

Like: She needed to get to know these guys and finally a way had opened itself before her very eyes.

I would have put it like: She needed to get to know these guys. Finally, a way had opened its right before her eyes. (I did add the word ‘right’ in there)

Punctuation &Vocabulary: 5/10

I put [ ]’s there because it needs spaces. It looks like one big word. All the chapters need some type of spacing after each of the sentences. Your vocabulary is really good, so I don’t really need to critique it.

I would say that you should put “Quotation Marks” when a character is speaking. And [‘]this[’] for the character’s thoughts.

Writing style: 7/10
Your writing is really good although I would say your format needs work. It is a bit disorganized when I read it. I didn’t know when a character was speaking or having a thought but as the chapters progressed it did get a bit better... It needs more spacing and needs to have new paragraphs when it’s someone speaking or any thoughts a character has. Each chapter looks like one HUGE paragraph. I mean there are lines that break each paragraph but there needs to be more than the lines itself. I would say readers do like an organized format in any fanfics. They want something easily read.

Characterization: 10/10
If readers watch KO One, they will get the characters. You did give the characters names in the fanfic from the drama which was good. It didn’t confuse me since I did watch it.

Overall enjoyment: 3/5