Ren's P.O.V.

We were sitting on the stairs and talking about pointless stuff. Baekho was so adorable. Seeing him so hyped up made me even happier. My feelings were floating and I swear to god, if they had a color it would be cotton candy pink. My stomach was full of butterflies and my face was hot, making a pink shade on my face.

As he was all caught up in a story he was telling, I couldn't help but be on a cloud nine. He was flatting his arms around and it made me laugh and giggle. Some warm feeling was filling me and I felt my eyes getting watery from all the pleasant feelings. Yes, my feelings felt so good right now, like there is nothing bad in having them. I was smiling like some high school girl and decided to let myself go with the flow. Nothing is gonna stop me today.

I scooted closer to Baekho, leaned my head on his shoulder and grabbed him under his arm. He just let a warm smile and continued his story.

After he finished it, I snuggled even closer to him. - "Are you sleepy Rennie?" - he snuggled me closer.

The feelings rushed through my body making me feel fluffy inside. I lifted my head up from his shoulder and looked him straight in the eyes with a sweet smile - "No. I'm ok."

"But you're eyes are watery... you look like you're about to cry." - he had a worried expression.

"Nah, Baekho. I'm just so happy." - I smiled and hugged him.

We talked some more, me literally clinging on to him. We were talking about our past, our families, friends, school, trainee days and of course it was time to talk about girls.

"So you never had a girlfriend? That is hard to believe." - I said playing with his fingers in my palm.

"Really? Do I seem like someone who had girls?" - he giggled, letting me play with his fingers.

"Well... yes." - I said shyly looking at him.

"Yaaah~ Ren! You're so cute!" - he pinched my cheeks, which resulted me laughing.

"So... you never kissed?" - I asked looking deep in his eyes.

"N-never. What's with that gaze." - he giggled and said - "Did you?"

"I didn't... I have never met anyone I like..." - I said looking at the floor.

"We still have time. Don't look so depressed." - he ruffled my hair with a goofy grin.

My brain started to work fast. He still didn't kiss. We have time. I kinda look like a girl. It's normal to practice kissing with your friend. Maybe we can try. Will he flip out? He won't? He probably will. Or... maybe... Well, I gotta try. I'll try. It's just a kiss anyway.

I turned my head toward him and like something possessed me I said with a poker face - "Wanna try kissing?" - just like that, I said it just like that. My brain was just facepalming itself while I was looking at his shocked expression.

"W-what?" - he asked with his mouth hanging open.

"Well... I always wanted to try... so why not? We're friends and it won't be weird." - my eyes were looking everywhere exept him.

"... I think it would be weird. We are guys." - he said still not fully realizing what was happening.

The we are guys part pierced me right through my stomach. I felt my pink fluffy feeling slowly turning into a dark purple storm.

"...You... I look like a girl... so... why not?" - I felt a knot in my stomach and I knew I was about to cry, but there was no way I can show it.

"You are still a boy, Ren. And I look like a man, why would you even kiss me looking like this. You can't even pretend I'm a girl." - he laughed, but this situation to me was not funny at all.

"Baekho!!" - I shouted, not realizing what I just did. He looked at me in a shock and his face was everything but a happy one. And honestly it scared me.

I lowered my head and whispered under my breath - "Baekho, please kiss me." - I felt my tears coming and I quickly shut my eyes and turned my head in opposite direction.

There was a silence for a while... a painful silence. I still wasn't able to look at Baekho. I wonder what kind of expression was he having, but was too afraid to turn. What if he heard me and was disgusted by me... what if he hated me right now? Why did I say this stuff? What in the world is wrong with me? Why did I say it?

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Cute at the beginning, but depressing at the end...

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