As you may already see, it's a looooooong chapter (at least I think, my chapters are always long, but like this.... :s) but still, enjoy!!;D

Dawne’s pov:

Of course you could say I’ve been a bit overreacting, but… I’ve still got my reasons. I’ve got my reasons to be upset and most of all to be concerned. I throw the last napkin that’s left in the trashcan and go sit on my bed. I look down and close my eyes for a moment, but right after that I hear someone knocking on the door. “Eh… Come in.” For a moment I doubted, cause it’s probably Jaden. Ah well.. I don’t really think I can avoid it or something, cause I know what’s he’s here for, I’m certain. When the door slowly opens, I see that it’s, indeed, Jaden. “Hey,” he says, softly. “Hey,” I say back in the exact same way.
In the beginning it’s quiet. Of course, what else would I expect. “So eh…” Jaden starts. “It’s quite a thing.” I look up but not completely at him. “Well.. Yeah.” Then he takes a deep breath and sighs. “I’m just… I’m sorry.” Now I look at him, confused, really confused. “I’m sorry for not believing you, for not noticing you really had a hard time telling about it. I went a bit too far with my questions and everything, so… It is good to finally know what was wrong, but I should have listened to you instead of my curiosity,” he says with a little smile on his face. “Why… Why are you apologizing?” “What?” “I mean.. No, really. Why are you apologizing? Doesn’t it disgust you?! It even disgusts me! And the only thing you do is apologizing! Why?” “No, I… I knew you were afraid of that, even before I found out what was actually going on. Of course I don’t disgust you. It is as it is and even more important, you can’t do anything about it.” Wow. That kind of.. touched me a bit. I never thought this is what he would say. “You really can’t do anything about it, but… You know.. That makes me wonder.. My mom didn’t tell me. Why would she not tell me? We just suddenly take someone in and I don’t even know about such a thing. Wouldn’t it be good to know something like that about someone?” “Well, Jaden… I don’t really think it’s such a strange thing that she didn’t tell you.” He looks a bit surprised at me. “Really. I mean.. You are an 18 year old guy, you live with your mother only and to suddenly take someone in who isn’t even completely healthy, that’s.. that’s quite something. She probably knew it would be strange to you. It must certainly be strange for her too. But I guess she just really wanted to help. They told me she had experienced it before, with someone else. That’s probably why. Do you know who that might have been?”
First he scratches his head for a moment, but then he sighs. He was probably thinking about if he really wanted to tell me or not, but.. I don’t think we have a lot of secrets anymore now he knows my biggest one – well… one of my biggest – especially if it is connected to me. “Well, yeah. Her sister. Angela. She had schizophrenia too, just like you, but according to mom she was in a worse state than you with that.” I look down. Maybe he… No. Does he really think I only have schizophrenia? Cause that’s not even the worst of all. My split personality is worse. Far worse. “Eh.. Jaden? Did Doloris only tell you about the schizophrenia?” Maybe this is the most stupid thing I’ve ever asked, but I still think he has the right to know, if he doesn’t know already. For a moment he looks a bit confused, but then he shows a little smile, a bit compassionate. “No, she told me everything. Also about your.. split personality.” Sigh. Somehow I still hoped a little that he didn’t know. Ah well.. “Alright,” I say almost whispering as I look away. “Hey. It’s ok, Dawne.”
He comes sit next to me, but still on a little distance. “Really, you don’t need to worry about it. I won’t hate you or anything. No one will. Not even the people at school.” I look at him. “They only say those things because in fact they just don’t understand, and they don’t even know everything. For them, I think you can even say it’s a mystery. And people are curious, Dawne. People always are. That’s all this is.” Those words… Those words are just magnificent. I can certainly say I never looked at it that way. I don’t know if I still believe it if I see the faces of those people and especially that Jeremy’s. I don’t know what to say about it or to react in any way. But then I think about the first thing he said, before those beautiful words. “I don’t need to worry?” He looks at me. “You’re right, those people at school aren’t my biggest problem, maybe not even a problem at all. But that only makes me realize even more… I don’t think you.. understand what the real problem is.” “Well.. Of course. Having a split personality is probably very confusing. And not being able to remember everything you do and…” “Do you know our differences?” “What? You mean.. Between you and me?” he asks a bit confused. “No. Between me and her.” Now he looks even a bit more confused. “Eh.. Ok. Between you and… who?” I sigh. “I’m talking about.. let’s say, my other personality. Do you know our difference?” “Oh. You mean your… Oh. So you call your other personality.. ‘her’?” “Well, yes. Why? Is that so odd?” “Well.. no. But…” “But what?” “I just.. I don’t think I can really imagine how it is to have another personality that’s yours but at the same time is so different.. that it seems like it’s not yours at all. I just don’t.. understand.”
“You see. You don’t know what the real problem is. And that’s fine, but then next time don’t say you do understand.” I wait for a moment until he says ‘ok’ or nods or something, but I better just go on. “Our difference is in our emotions. What kind of emotions did you see me having until now?” I see he’s thinking for a moment. “Eh.. You’ve been sad.. a bit scared, happy.. and mad.” I shake my head. “No, Jaden. The emotions I’ve had. Did you see me get mad?” “Yes, of course. I know you couldn’t remember but I told you, right. You weren’t even just mad, you were…” I just keep looking at him, until he gets it. “Wait… So that’s it? You only feel sadness, fear and happiness, and.. ‘she’ only feels anger. Is that right?” I nod. “Yes, but.. It’s not that I’m overreacting but I just want you to understand as well as you can without having experienced it. It’s an important part but it’s not just those typical emotions. I can love someone. She.. only feels hate. She feels no love for anyone. She doesn’t even just like anyone. Or she hates someone, or she just doesn’t care at all.” “Wow. Isn’t that… Isn’t it strange to be unable to feel any love.” I chuckle. “What? Why are you laughing?” Jaden asks. “Sorry, it’s just.. You’re asking me that like I should know how it feels.” “Yeah, you are.. Oh, wait…” I chuckle again. I stand up and slowly walk a little through the room. “You see, that’s why it’s so complicated. We are the same, but on the other hand so different. She knows how it feels, I don’t.” “Alright. Can I ask her once?” he asks while chuckling a little. My face immediately changes.
“You should not joke about that, Jaden.” When he sees my face, he’s knows I’m serious. “It’s not the only reason why I don’t you to joke about those kinds of things, but I’m.. I’m afraid she might see it as an invitation.” “What does she see as an invitation?” “If she happens to hear you say things like that, she might appear.” “And… I know. I know what you’ve said, but why does it have to be bad if she appears. Is it always bad?” “Yes, Jaden,” I say with more intensity now. “Yes, it is. From the first time she appeared, it has always been bad.” “When.. When was actually the first time she appeared?” I look at him, and think. Then I close my eyes for a moment and sigh. “The first time she appeared, I was… almost 13 years old.” His eyes widen a bit. “13? Really?” “Yeah. But.. As I was going to say, it’s not so strange that I don’t want her to appear. She would think the same thing about me. We have, and actually are, different personalities.. because we just simply don’t agree with each other, about almost everything.” “Then… Did she also react differently to your parents death?” My eyes widen and I come closer to him. “I told you not to say anything that might invite her and you especially shouldn’t talk about my parents! NEVER talk about my parents like that!” I suddenly say while breathing heavily, I even have a hard time to swallow. Jaden even seems a bit frightened. “I.. I’m sorry. I just… Sorry," I say while I take a step back. “I.. I thought you never.. never felt angry. Then what was this?” I doubt about what I should say to that. “Jaden... What I just told you.. is the basis. It’s just too complicated, for now.” “But then why…” “What I told was true, but.. let’s say, there are some exceptions.” It looks like he thinks it’s a bit suspicious, but already after a short while his face changes again and he just nods.
“Alright then. So could you please just.. leave for a moment?” I ask him, trying not to sound angry or something. It’s just.. It’s enough for now. “Eh.. Yeah. Of course.” He stands up. Right before he walks out of the room, he holds his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m just trying to understand, maybe a bit too well. But still.. thanks for trying to explain me, for everything you told me until now.” He releases his hand from my shoulder again, walks out of the room and closes the door. I walk to the mirror and stand in front of it. I just look at myself for a moment. I really wanted to tell him, but… I think it would be a bit too much for him if I now also told him I hear a voice in my head sometimes, that controls me. Not even just a voice. Her voice. I sigh. “Why did I just have to be divided in two parts?” I start asking myself. “Why can’t I be.. just me? Why did there need to appear another personality?” I roll with my eyes. Wait… I didn’t roll with my eyes. But.. in the mirror… I really saw it. Now my position really changes, but it really feels like I’m standing still. But again, the mirror shows… “That’s simple.” Wait.. That sounded like my voice, but… “You just couldn’t handle it anymore.” That’s not me. That’s… “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” I scream as I fall on the ground, while my mirror image is still standing. “DAWNE!” I hear Jaden yelling while he’s running up the stairs. Within two seconds the door opens. “Dawne, what’s going on?!” When he sees me half sitting, half laying on the ground with probably the most frightened expression ever, he goes on his knees and holds one hand on my back and one hand on my cheek, on the other side from where he’s sitting. “Dawne, are you alright?! You scared the out of me!” I can’t speak yet. I can’t think straight. I just turn in his way and completely throw my arms around him. I even start crying, I think for the hundredth time today. “N.. Not... NOT AGAIN!” He now also forms his arms around me. “Come on, Dawne. What is it?!” “It’s.. It’s…” Should he really know?