Trying not to.

The Red String

L.Joe's POV

The next few days, I didn't bother putting in any effort on showing up to work, I didn't have the motive to. I didn't want to go only to have Chunji treat me like I was invisible, like we were complete strangers.

Besides, after the kiss incident, I'm sure he doesn't want to see my face ever again.

Even though I didn't really confess to him directly, it was obvious in anyone's eyes that I had feelings for the boy, even if I didn't want to admit it.

A sigh left my throat and I forced myself off of my bed, figuring that sulking wouldn't change anything for the better no matter how much I wanted it to. My body froze in front of the mirror, examining myself head to toe. If anyone saw me right now, they'd probably assume I was homeless, I sure as hell looked like it. My hair was a complete mess, and it was clear that it hadn't been properly washed in a while. My eyelids were heavy from lack of sleep and the dark circles were starting to become distinct against my skintone. Trailing my gaze down my body, I looked scrawny, vulnerable, and most of all, fragile.

The image of Chunji's displeasured face flared in my head, flickering constantly while his expression grew more fierce than it was before. 

I clutched the sides of my head in frustration. 

Yet the feature wouldn't leave my head, it only crept inside of it further, haunting my memories that were now full of regret. 

A loud scream left my lips as I knelt down, throwing my head downward as if it would somehow knock out the dwelling guilt. But the feeling remained, and it grew more evident than ever.

And I only grew more shameful.

From the corner of my eye, there was a faint crimson line that shown, and I slowly lifted my head to observe what it was.

The Red String.

I shuddered at the sight, following its path that drew out of the window and to another place where Chunji was surely at. 

And he was probably okay, smiling his little idiotic smile like always, without me.

Yet here I was, eating myself alive.

"You...." I began, hearing my own voice shake within my throat which was now worn out from the screaming, "If it weren't for you..." My body started to stir,  fumbling towards my drawer that was perched beside my bed, "If it weren't for you, I would've never lost Chunji." My hand staggered against the wood of the drawer, finding itself a pair of stable scissors. "I would've never met him."

I bit my bottom lip sharply, restraining myself from letting tears descend down the curves of my cheeks. But eventually, holding it in was a lot more painful than letting it out, so I gave in, watching myself shed useless tears over someone who was never even mine.

And I couldn't be anymore disgusted with myself.

I hastily pulled myself together, leaning my back against my bed and lifting the thin string when I raised my hand that it was tied to. It looked pretty real to me, but it wasn't, now was it?

No one saw it, other than me. No one could touch it, other than me. No one even believed it was real, other than me.

Was it just an increment of my imagination? Have I just become insane?

My mind withdrew back to a familiar face that I didn't want to remember, but I didn't have the heart to forget.

The first person to make me feel so much aching pain, but made my heart warm up at the thought of him just being there.

The person who I had somehow fallen in love with

when I was trying so hard not to.

The person who I will never be able to call mine.

The person named Chunji.

My sniffs became soft, and the dark circles that surrounded my eye sockets were now flushed with pink. 

The hand that held the pair of scissors shook as I slightly opened it to trim the red thread that attached me to him. To destroy whatever we had, if we had anything at all.

But it wouldn't cut.

No matter how much I tried,

it just wouldn't cut.

-----------

- This took a long time, huh? I'm sorry! I've been working on other stories actually TT I hope this was worth the wait though, even though it's really short.

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Kpop_badman
#1
Chapter 13: I hope you'll continue this! How could you leave it at that!! It's really good
ItsJustSarax
#2
Chapter 13: You
Tease
Stop messing with my feeling T^T! I thought they were going to have their happy ending, rainbows and fireworks and everything :c HOWEVER! I've come this far, so there's no turning back now. Like I said before, I hope this gets better for chunjoe >.< fighting once more ♥
LJoe4ever
#3
Chapter 13: Are you still going to update the story? I just found this and regretted for not doing so last year >.<
OptimusPride
#4
Chapter 1: made the right choice by picking this story! chapter 1 is great! i`m not a big fan of chunjoe, but your story seems really nice!
OptimusPride
#5
the foreword sounds promising! gonna read this one!
Shy-And-Awkward-Girl #6
Chapter 13: L.Joe should just tell him even if Chunji would believe him or not
SHINjjang
#7
Chapter 13: oh god I thought it was over and it was so nice but then I saw there was another chapter and I got so happy thinking "oh! another adorable ending!" but wow was I wrong and it's fANTASTIC HNNGHFJEIO;AWE I THINK I'M CRYING I'M SO EXCITED
Baravois #8
Chapter 13: Oh no.....LJoe should clear everything up with Chanhee before anything drastic happens
>.<"
Yoko-chan
#9
I really love your Fanfic :)please update soon ^^
hikikomori721
#10
Chapter 13: Whether it ends here or not it'll be on my subcribtions list! /stubborn/ lol