I needed to escape. I had just given away my most important secret... I had really told this Donghae guy what my post it notes were all about... I had almost given away the secret behind my existence until today. They were all for Young-Yi, my ex-boyfriend who died over a year ago... At first we had written the quotes together... Whenever we watched a movie together, or read a book... we would write down our favorite line or quote and show the other.

After Young-Yi was diagnosed with his illness, I was the only one who was able to keep up with the post it notes... Either while I was by his bedside and read a book, I continuously wrote down quotes for him to read when he was well enough... or at home when I watched movies by myself... I always wrote down a quote or two... hoping to make Young-Yi smile. In every post it note I wished sincerely for his illness to go away, I prayed for his recovery... but it all came to that final day...

I still remember it so vividly... so clear... that it continues to scare me... to haunt me...

That day I clearly remember the one post it note I had for him to read... but when I reached the hospital I was told that Young-Yi had a relapse... that he wasn't going to make it... I never got the chance to show him my post it note... the post it note that I held for hours at the hospital, crying my eyes out over... wishing I could talk to Young-Yi one last time... tell him that I loved him... but that wish never came true...

I had almost told someone like Donghae the secret behind all my post it notes... the ones that I continued to read every day to feel as though Young-Yi was by my side... I needed to get out of this room... so I left. I grabbed my things and locked the door, rushing down the hall. But even then I found Donghae walking back from his car.

"I locked the apartment... I'm leaving for a while..." Were the only words I managed to say to him before brushing past him to the elevators. I tapped my foot as I waited for the elevator to make its way back up to the ninth floor of the building... A part of me doubted that I would be able to live with this guy... He got to me too easily... everything he did made me angry... or made me talk about something I didn't want to... and his ego was the worst of it...

As the elevator doors opened I quickly stepped inside and pressed the ground button. If only I had the money to try and find another apartment... but I was broke... I had spent the last of my money buying my own apartment... which reminded me that I needed to start writing again...I needed to start being able to live on my own again...

As the elevators opened again I rushed making my way quickly down the street. I wasn't too familiar with the area yet, and finding out how to get around would be the thing I needed to get my mind off of what just happened in the apartment. I made my way down the main street, looking at the tall looming buildings over my head, trying to memorize them by heart. Finally the tall buildings came to an end opening into a park