A devil’s demons

Ji had never had a solid example of what love ought to be when he was young. His father’s coldness towards him and his mother ensured that.

He became aware of everything when he was in high school and even then, nothing had been permanent in his life. Girls were so weird and complicated that he thought whatever the reason his father was like that was because of how women were in general… yet, his mother was not like any of the girls in school – one cannot help but love her.

He went out with a whole lot of his schoolmates trying to find what they could bring him and trying to prove his father’s hate of women wrong (at the time he thought his father was a misogynist… he only learned a few days ago the truth) but everyone was like an empty shell. He gained the reputation comparable to that of a rake in 17th century England yet he found no answer.

When he left the island and was exposed to the rest of the world, he picked up and absorbed everything he could learn about that elusive thing called love. He watched his cousins find and lose and find love again.

He wondered how it seemed so easy for everyone around him and he’s always understood how these men could end up falling head over heels for their women but he had never encountered the one for him.

When he was in Iraq… he knew he wouldn’t even get the chance to meet a woman but he did learn one of the most precious lessons about that magical something that had always missed him.

During his time as a doctor for one of the base camps near central Iraq, Ji had met a young local named Sahib. He acted like an errand boy for the soldiers and was happy to be paid a dollar or two for each order he carried out.

They were all basic things – fetch a towel, get someone food, start a fire, etc. and he seemed such a naive lad that Ji understood why the others in the barracks took Sahib for a simpleton. He, however, saw intelligence in the man for in the time the errand boy was with him, Ji would notice the young man watching him administer medicine or injections with warped curiosity.

This had led him to take on to Sahib with a fondness like that of an older brother. He had learned that the man, before the war, wanted to become a doctor because he belonged to a family of nurses and doctors.

Ji didn’t want to ask what happened to Sahib’s family for he knew beforehand what the answer would be. But still, the young man informed him unflinchingly, that his parents and his brothers had been victims of a bombing during the first wave of fighting between American soldiers and Iraqi rebels in their town, a little north of their current location.

Because of his honesty and sheer will, Sahib gained Jiyong’s respect and he grew fonder and fonder of the boy. 

He would never forget that day he last saw Sahib.

The young man was excited for a date. It was ridiculous, it was stupid, and it was dangerous for love to spring at such a time (with war and death just at everyone’s door step) and Ji had warned Sahib about it but love never does really listen to reason.

“Since we both could die anytime Doctor, I think Alena should always remember and know how much I love her. I don’t want her having any doubt of it” Sahib told him in perfect English, smiling like a kid rewarded with a truckload of candy.

“At the rate you’re going, I highly doubt Alena doesn’t know you love her” he teased. Sahib had, punctually, been dropping by the young girl’s house at 5:30 PM for two weeks now. It was the kind of young love that everyone called foolish but actually envied.

And that day was the day that Alena said she was going to cook for the persistent suitor. Sahib had waved goodbye to Jiyong excitedly and the other soldiers in the infirmary who were shouting catcalls.

“Man… the last time I was that excited was for Prom night” his nurse, George Prescott, told Jiyong as they watched Sahib dash through the camp’s gates.

None of them said it but they not only envied Sahib, they admired him his tenacity and dedication to his young lady. It was troublesome sure but it, nevertheless, was wonderful. How many war time love stories do people get to witness first hand? Even the most hardened war veterans grudgingly think highly of such things.

“Oh so you actually had a date on prom night” one of the soldiers told George and before the bantering could resume… a bomb blasted from their camp’s gates and the shockwaves threw metal and glass and wood and men together.

“Oh sh*t!” Jiyong had thought as he remembered Sahib who had just been running through the gates a few minutes ago.

Everyone else was bolting up from the shock while he was running for the gates, dreading the sense of knowledge that washed through him the moment he heard that bomb go off. He wouldn’t find his friend alive – Sahib had been the one who tripped over the bomb. 

Based on the accounts of several witnesses, Sahib had thought the box that the bomb was in was a simple obstruction on the road and was about to put it away when it exploded. Any other time, he wouldn’t have done that and would have called for the soldiers to have a look at it. He would have been suspicious of the box. He would have hesitated first before carrying a box left lying on the ground anywhere.But he was a young man in love.

He was excited to go to Alena.

He wasn’t thinking straight for all that he was thinking of was her.

It wasn’t the first nor was it the last death of a friend that Ji witnessed when he was in Iraq but it was the one that left the most impact on him.

He distinctly remembered Alena crying during Sahib’s funeral, saying to his body time and time again that she was going to wait for him…. and that when he came the stew she had cooked for him would be waiting there as well.

Waiting… Waiting… Waiting…

Ji had given Alena the stethoscope that he let Sahib borrow during physicals and comforted the woman by saying that Sahib would not want her crying.Alena had nodded and said she was going to wait with a smile.It was so tragic and Ji had told himself then that if he should find a woman willing to wait for him like Alena still waited for Sahib, he just might marry her.

But that was being naïve and selfish… right now, he couldn’t expect Dara to wait for him for unlike Sahib, he had not exerted any effort at all to let her know how much she meant to him… had never really told her he loved her.

“I love her” Ji told himself, stopping his car on the shoulder lane as soon as the realization hit him like a tidal wave “I’m in love with Dara.”

Oh hell. There was no escaping it. He’d finally said it. He thought before that it was only desire… a need… a want.

He was in love with her. And that was a hell lot different than anything he’d ever felt before.