Hey guys (: 

Doubt any of you guys actually read this anymore, given I'm not very interesting... but for those who will, I lab you c;

Well, it's currently 4:07 -- 53 minutes before my final college decisions. I'm waiting for three colleges that notoriously reject all of their applicants. Given I don't really find myself very interesting to say the least, I can't say I'm expecting a "Congratulations!" at all. I have average SATs (on the asian standard), an average GPA, an average life, an average everything. I tried to sell myself as well as I could, but there's only so much you can really do. People have called me pessimistic, telling me to look on the bright side and expect the best, but that's only more painful in the end. 

If I expect to get in, but get rejected... wouldn't it hurt more than me expecting to be rejecting and then getting turned down just as I expected? I don''t know. I got my second rejection today right after school and I wasn't really sure what to do. I just kinda stared at it and sighed. Truthfully, this whole process has been depressing, frustrating, and made me feel worthless. I don't think I am...but still. Rejection just makes you feel like poop. 

45 more minutes now. 

I feel like I'm just walking towards my doom lol. 

WHALE. whatever happens, I'm still me and I can't pretend to be something I'm not. 

For those of you who are killing time waiting for your decisions, I hope that things work out for you. 

For those of you who have yet to experience this kind of dreadful anticipation, work as hard as you can in school and such so that you don't regret it later. 

I'll write again after all is said and done. Sorry if this was depressing, but I'm in a depressing mood right now :(