It's been a long time hasn't it? 

Well, I'm a senior in high school now, and I'll be getting all of my acceptances/rejections this month. But before all the tears and the laughing happens, I though I'd just tell you what I've been thinking a lot about: Love. 

Recently, I have found myself...liking another human being. It's been a while, given I've tried to avoid it at all costs. Now this is real life- not some fanfic. Meeting him did not change my world or make me contemplate the meaning of life. My little crush on him just gave my life a little spark. (: 

When you like someone, your eyes search for them naturally. Your heart hastens a little - not so much you think you'll die-, but it's a noticable change. You don't sweat a lot or anything, but you may cross your legs and try to act a little more feminine, so that maybe, just maybe, he'll like you back. But from the few months I've liked him, I learned that none of that really works. 

My femininity has decreased since the beginning I've met him, and now I'm simply myself. This is pretty much rambling, but whatever.. 

In the beginning, I was a total girl. But now... I'm becoming more and more like myself. My barrier is diminishing and he's startin' to see who I really am- the good and the bad. I don't know if he likes me more or anything- now that he knows what I'm really like- but it's made me realize that I should have done it like that from the start. You wouldn't want another to like you for someone you really weren't, would you? 

Do you, not the person you think he'll like. 

But you know what? I hate liking another person. You think about everything and you begin to analyze everything they do, so that maybe you can convince yourself that he likes you back. We really are desperate people to some extent, aren't we? I try to convince myself to see things black and white, but I'm not sure what's better. Should I look at the gray, or ignore it? Does that mean he likes me? Does he hate me now? 

Sigh. This is probably a turn of events, but would any of you guys like to give me advice? I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me the way I do. He's very quiet, but he isn't shy. He just doesn't really like to talk. When I'm around him, he does speak - but it doesn't seem like he makes an effort to do so. I have to say hi first, all the time... Well then again, sometimes, he'll wave to me first- but that's what friends do right? Anyways.. I'm thinking about asking him to prom by using his favorite candy (I'm not spelling prom out or anything, I'm just going to get a box of the candy and slip a paper that says prom in it lol). Do you think I should go for it? What do you think about our relationship in general? All help would be greatly appreciated... -.-

...

God, I hate love. 

Tell me about your love story (: ​

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