Parents are people. Nevertheless, to their children, they are parents first. We don’t greet them like friends or talk to them like strangers. We whine, cry, and laugh with them. If anything, they have seen us in our most chaotic states.

Today, I received my first rejection to a college. Because I had such pride in my essays and the interview, I believed I had a good shot of getting in. However…the acceptance rate is a little less than 10%. Around 8%. Yeah. So statistically, my chances of getting in were incredibly slim to begin with. But rejection is rejection and I began contemplating about what went wrong – what was wrong with me. I put myself into the application. Rather than masquerading as some 4.0, 2400 scorin’ student, I came as myself. Of course I pointed out my positive characteristics, but the tone of the essays, the interview, it was all me. In the end, I wholeheartedly believe I gave it my best shot. Though I felt like crying once I read the “We regret to inform you…” sentence, (not to be cliché but,) the past was in the past. I always tried my best during high school, and while this sounds like a loser speech, that’s all a person can do sometimes. I did give it my all and it wouldn’t have turned out any differently if I went back in time and studied an extra 200 hours.

Now why did I start this chapter out about parents? Well, that’s because my mother seems to be ostracizing me because of my rejection. I love her, and I understand why she’s upset…but is it even her place to be upset? She won’t be paying for tuition and it’s not her future, yet she seems angry with me. I can’t help but ask why she can’t be like any other mother and simply be by my side, coddle me a bit, and tell me it’ll all work out in the end. Doesn’t she understand that while I know there’s no point in being sad and that all I could do has been done, that I’m still sad too?

God.

 All I can really do now is wait for my other acceptances/rejections now. Three ivy leagues, colgate, and Lehigh… if just one of you would accept me… God.

These college applications are wearing me down.