Bang Yong Guk’s P.O.V.

I stared at my cellphone lying on the kitchen counter. Just call him already! I groaned and reached out but hesitated. What will he say? Won’t he be disappointed? Disgusted? Maybe he won’t see me as a brother anymore – maybe he won’t even talk to me…

     I was sick and tired, sick and tired of being such a coward. I just had to take a deep breath, pull myself together and do it!

     I bit down on my bottom lip and nodded, seconds after the cellphone was at my ear. “Come on, come on…” I muttered, nervously walking around the kitchen, waiting for him to pick up. “Come on, co–“

     “Hello, you’ve called Yoo Youngjae! Unfortunately, I’m busy at the moment, but leave a message and I will return to you–“

     “Aish!” I hung up and threw the cellphone away, the device sliding across the counter, on the edge of falling to the floor. I ran my hands down my face and through my hair, frowning in frustration. I had to explain it all to him – make him understand. Youngjae was Junhong’s brother-in-law… They were practically closer than Jonghong and I was. Or were…

     So… If he’d answered… What would you’ve said? “Hey, Youngjae. Just calling to say that I’m in love with your wife’s sixteen year-old baby brother. Bring him back to me, yeah? Getting over him is kinda ruining my life,” something like that?

     “Yaa, don’t be stupid,” I groaned, walking out the kitchen. “I’ll just try to explain it all to him… First of all thanking him for paying me a visit after the accident – a little late, but better late than never, right?” I scratched the back of my head, the living room dark, only lightened up by a single, weak lamp by the couch. “Then I’ll explain to him how Junhong had stayed with me at the hospital… How he showed up at my door some time after that… And then how he stayed for a couple of days…”

     Seriously? That’s your explanation?

     “Yes…” I made a face, exhaling. “Is it that bad?”

     I don’t know… Are you going to mention that you’re actually in love with him? You know, Junhong.

     “No! No, never!” I shrieked, my voice echoing throughout the apartment. I flinched by the sound, shaking my head a little while squeezing my eyes close. “I haven’t even confessed to Junhong yet… How can I tell Youngjae?”   

     Yet? You’re gonna confess?

     “Well… I can’t live like this for the rest of my life…” I mumbled, glancing at the mirror on the wall as I’d reached the hallway. I didn’t look that bad, but inside I hadn’t been sleeping, eating, breathing for days. I was clean – my dark hair slightly ruffled but decent, my breath minty and my teeth sparkling. Even so, I was in decay under my skin, slowly dying without anybody noticing. Aren’t we all?

     “What am I supposed to do..?” I muttered, frowning at my own reflection. It’s for sure – he won’t come back. He can’t. They’ve all found out, brought me back to reality as they took him away. This can’t work. How could it? I’m so wrong – the wrong person for him to… care about. It’s better this way, I’m sure.

     “But, what am I gonna do?” I still wondered, certain about the fact that he would be much better off without me, but totally clueless of what to do with myself. I can’t just ignore this. This condition I’m in. I cannot stop it… how about slowing it down? No, that’s not it – I’ll speed it up, having it over and done with.

I took a punch to the face, stumbling back across the pavement, trying to maintain my balance. Luckily, I stayed on my feet, squeezing my eyes close and shook off the dizziness and the ringing in my head. I kept my fist up close to my face, taking a few steps forward while blinking a few times. My opponent’s figure became clearer, his cheeky smirk making me groan. I threw a weak punch at him that he dodged, but he didn’t see my right fist, taking it straight to the stomach, all air being blown out of him. He fell to the ground, hands to his stomach as he gasped for air, staring at the wet pavement. I lowered my fists and exhaled, wiping off my bloody bottom lip.

     “What now?” I hissed, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him off the ground. He looked up at me, his face drenched in fear and terror – a smirk forming on my lips. “You done?”

     “I-I… I’m… I…” he breathed, still gasping for air.

     I snorted, letting him fall to the ground, clearly earning the victory of our little but nice battle. It’d kept my mind off things for a short while, and I thanked him for that – well, not out loud; he received my thanks by falling flat unto his stomach as I kicked him down, the power of my kick probably dislocating his shoulder, but I couldn’t care less.

     “I’ll see you around,” I raised my hand as I walked out of there, not looking back. What now, what now? Wanna have some fun?

     I smirked, amused by which way my thoughts suddenly travelled. “Sure,” I chuckled, answering myself as I made my way to a random club, ending up at a place I wish I hadn’t.

     Even so, I shook it off, picked out my victim at the bar. She’d long hair and long legs, her well-equipped body pushed down in a tiny and tight dress, luring every male being at the club in. She seemed to decline every one of them, making a face and turn her back to them, sipping her toxic drink. Still, it didn’t scare me off, and I made my way to the bar, ordering a beer and sat down next to her, acting like I hadn’t noticed her at all.

     “Thanks,” I nodded at the bartender as he handed me the cool beer, and I put it to my lips as I glanced back at the dance floor. I let out a deep breath after drinking a little, putting down the bottle unto the counter. Thereafter I glanced at her, pretending it was an accident – meanwhile she’d already seemed to notice me, discreetly peeking at me.

     “Hey,” I casually said, looking away from her.

     “Hi,” she said in a tiny voice, moving a little closer to me. I tried to hold back my smirk, occasionally glancing down at her, but slightly ignored her, making her move closer – wanting my attention. Score.

     I smiled at her, starting some random conversation to ease her up. Piece of cake. This won’t take long. I’m sure this will keep my mind off… certain things.

     After a short while, I carefully placed my hand on her back, leaned in close to her as we chatted. She’d begun caressing my hand with her fingertips, moving them around in little circles in my palm. I knew I had her – all I had to do was to keep my head cool, soon asking her if she wanted to see my apartment. I wondered if she would see right through me, but by the looks of it, I seriously doubted that she was going to turn me down.

     Nothing can go wrong, I’m used to this. Girls – I’m used to them.

Hey, guys!
A quick and rather short update~ I’m promising you that the upcoming chapters are going to be waaay more interesting and… well… I’m especially looking forward to the next chapter I’m gonna be posting >:D But! ‘Till then, Donotfear will be uploading chapter 22 this Sunday – please, look forward to that as well, she’s a great writer, yeah? :D   
-Ayo-