STORY LINK

Reviewer: kpoplistener

Title: 1/5

I'm going to be strict about titles, since this is the first thing you see in a story. Your title was punctuated correctly. However, it was not unique. It was not different. And also as far as I've read, I couldn't see the relation of the title to the story yet. 

Appearance: 10/15

Your poster was okay. It fit the mood of the story, but having two of the OC's in either side of Daehyun made the poster looked crowded. Also, I was almost blinded by the font you used. Try to use a darker shade of pink and blue please. 

Foreword and Description: 2/5

It was punctuated correctly, there were no grammatical errors. I just had a problem with how common the description was. Almost every story here in AFF somehow has almost the same description. From your description, I can already picture half the plot. Also, you put your character profiles in the description. Honestly, you could've put them in the Foreword or you shouldn't have put them at all. A writer's job is to introduce the characters as the story progresses, not before the story even starts. 

Characterization: 7/10

I liked your characterization. I teared up a bit as Daehyun and Sooyoung recounted their past. It made me tear up, but no tears streamed down my cheeks. As for the characterization of Sooyoung, you were consistent with her personality. However, I didn't like how she forgave Daehyun that easily. Sure, she might sound like a female dog when she won't accept his forgiveness, but I guess she needs to not accept it because of that. She almost killed herself because of Daehyun and his girlfriend. Come on, you can't forgive someone who did that to you that easily.

As for the character of Daehyun, I really liked his character. Behind the perfect and cold image lies someone who was caring and loving. I liked how he still loved his mother, even though she left the world already. I liked how you had two different personalities of him, but you still made it work.

Originality: 3/5

This is almost like half the stories out there, but I liked how you added your own writing style to it. Even though the plot was common, you somehow made it different with your writing style. Good job. 

Plot: 9/15

Like I said, the plot is almost like most of the stories here on AFF. 

Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation: 24/25

This is where I would like to praise you. You have a high grasp on the English language, and I loved how you wrote the story. You used a lot of words, which was nice. You only had one mistake though:

appaled

Correct: appalled

Flow: 8/10

Surprisingly, it wasn't too fast nor too slow. I only docked two points for I felt Sooyoung accepting Daehyun's apology was a bit fast. 

Enjoyment: 15/15

I might've said some thing that make it sound like I despise your story, but I don't. I'm actually saddened by the fact your story is on hiatus. 

Bonues: 5/5

You have a great story, and I can see potential in you. You have a neat writing style, and I liked how you put your scenes together. It wasn't random, and it connects to the story. Your characterization and grammar were very good, and I wanted more. 

Total: 84/100

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