Dear future EunHee, I know it might be too early to write to you but something came up and I think I have to write it in here. Guess what? You’ve read about the guy I told you right? The one that I don’t want to see ever again, well, it’s not happening. He appeared. Nam Woohyun appeared and he’s in the same school!

I mean seriously! There’s like thousands of school in Korea why did he have to attend the one that I’m in? I tried hard to forget about the whole thing, things he did to me but I don’t think meeting him at school could make any thing better.

I can’t face him properly, I can’t seem to get in touch with the mature EunHee but I do learn a new feeling.

I got scared.

When I saw him, it’s like I’m having a flashback of what happen to me.

“I hate girls like you. You’re so clingy that it annoys me. Try to be mature and pretty once.”

Were the words that he told me. I knew you would think I’m immature to take his words seriously but those words hit me like a tons of bricks and I tell you, I doesn’t feel nice at all. It’s like telling a girl she’s ugly. No one wants that to come out from the person they love, especially me.

Nam Woohyun broke my heart and since that, I’ve been afraid of judgments. I think too much about what people think about me and I tried very hard to please everyone. Everything was important to me and that is when I started to change.

I started to feel that if I become that person everyone likes, perhaps, that could give me credits and perhaps, I could avoid being rejected like what Woohyun did too me.

I became really passive when I’m with others. I tried to understand everyone, pleasing everyone instead of being the real me. They want a girl who knows how to dress and how to take care of themselves, I went as far as learning how to dress-up and even wearing the killer high heels just to be with them.

Making them think I’m all that but actually I’m not and sometimes it frustrates me. I want them to think I’m perfect or at least close to that just so they would accept me. But when my true colors reappeared, I’m afraid if the good thoughts they have about me disappeared and I’ll disappoint them.

Myungsoo argued several times about this. I know it sickens him to see me all giddy and not myself around others since he knew the real me. But it’s just- I can’t accept if everyone’s perspective change. To their eyes, I’m all that. The beautiful, smart, kind Park EunHee. But in truth, I’m as clumsy as everyone else.

And then I met this guy, a senior, name Hoya. Lee Howon. Hehe. I did a personal check on him. He was the first one after a few years of my-scared-of-judgment-misery to ever see right through me. I meant the first person to ever say I’m annoying right in front of my face. The second, actually, after Woohyun, that is.

Yet, he still talks to me every now and then, giving me warm feeling when I’m with him. He said he dislikes me but not to the point of hating me, I guess that’s how I took his words.

“I don’t hate you.” He paused. “I just dislike you.”

But hanging around with him is seems nice and I could feel myself slowly opening up to him, my true self kicks in and sometimes we quarrel. But I like it. Makes me feel I’m…

Me.

Oh and Minyoung came in the picture too. How I remembered when Myungsoo was head-over-heels about her. That’s why he never really shoves her away from him. He may looks cold on her but she was the person he loved.

And yeah, I used past tense because I’m not sure if he still likes her because he got a pretty bad memory about Minyoung. I think I let him tell the story. He’s going to be all touchy and cry like a baby again. Haha. My cute Myungsoo. I’m so glad he still talks to me even when I’m in this state.

But Myungsoo ah~ I’m fine. I’ll try to overcome this so you don’t have to be so worried about me.

And if you still hanging out with Hoya. Tell him that thanks for being so understanding eventhough he didn’t know exactly what’s going on but he took it in pretty well.

And about Mr.Teddy, if you still see him around, please get to know the person inside. I mean seriously, how long do you think you can talk to a bear costume, that is just.

So.

Wrong.

In a way but right now, I’m enjoying it.

Mr.Teddy is so cute~ he’s so fluffy, I’m gonna die!

LOL.

Be nice and be yourself.

I mean seriously, it’s hard being ‘the me’ now so please, stop pretending when you have a chance okay.

I love you. 

Author's note: Just a little something I add. I never explain her thoughts before so i guess this chapter is a need, although it's short but i'll be updating the next chapter soon so keep in touch! <3

hellopanda23 :LOL, i cracked up reading ur comment about L.. haha.. all he did was sweeping.. kekeke

SooYeol: Ohoh~! *wink wink*

coolme: i'm glad you like it.. hehehe..its a way of attracting you back here.. so cliffy is a must~