Jeffrey Eugenides once said, "The time has to be right and the heart willing". But for what? For love? That sweetly sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, where you can't breathe under the stare of your desire. For forgiveness? No, surely not forgiveness. Too hard, too many feelings. No! Forgiveness, I could do without. For patience? Yes, patience. Something I desperately need right now.

For only my second day of school, I can say that I ing hate people. I do. Not only did Julie Choi knock over my pastels, she ing stomped on them! STOMPED ON THEM! I had to remember my living situation before I could stab her with my scissors. 

"Simmer down, children, I must give you today's assignment. Today I am going to put you in groups of four and give you a model from the university to draw. Now for the groups."

! ! ! ! Does no one get the fact that I want to be alone?

"Park Gyuri, Choi Julie, Oh Ta", oh for s sake, "LEE!" I interject.

Mrs. Kim huffs. "Tae Ah and  Daniel Ahn. You will be working with Zhang Yixing."

Sigh. 

I put on my best piss-off face and walked, rather slowly I might add, to my group, who were all conveniently seated next to each other. 

"Tae Ah sshi, annyeounghasaeyo! Niel imida." 

I looked this boy over, how old is he? He looks like he needs to be with Ae Rinnie playing tag or something. But he looks nice and harmless. Besides, I need someone who isn't a brainless . Like Julie Choi. Who the does this think she is. Scoffing at me, as if I were some insect waiting to die at the sole of her shoes. 

"Tae Ah imida." I replied shortly. He showed a nice smile. 

"Ah Yixing sshi, your group is over there." I heard the teacher say, but didn't bother to look up. That was until I heard a loud gasp from the Yuri girl. 

"Yixing oppa, annyeong!~" She chirped annoyingly. 

"Damn, , your in my ear," I muttered angrily. Little did I know my whole group, including the model, heard me. I looked over at Niel, wondering why it got so quiet. "Wae?" 

​No one said anything. 

"Your Oh Tae Ah, right?"

​I looked over to the university student with contempt. And boy was he something to look at. Milky white skin framing a beautiful jaw-line. To his small nose protruding upward as to say 'I'm not trying to be better than you, I just am" and a gentle smirk placed on small lips, slightly opened to feed my ears with sweet promises of forever. Electrifying eyes that told stories of passion and fear and violence. His gaze was violent, cutting into my soul, ravishing every desire or hope I'd ever had and kindling it. And I was almost trapped in it all when Niel tugged at my shirt.

"No." I replied briskly. Moving my eyes here and there, but never but to his. Those placid, terra-cotta oceans.

"Yes, it is. I know your father."

"So?"

He smiled, a small indentation falling into his cheeks. me!

He. Has. Dimples.

"Your just like Sehun said you are."

I choked a little. That better have said nothing bad about me. "And what exactly did he say?"

"That your a fiery little one. You like playing tough and have walls up. But he didn't tell me you were cute."

Oh. ing. Hell.

"Is that blushing I see, Oh Tae Ah?"

This boy, this beautiful boy, is playing with me. Mustering up the best frown I could I replied. "My name is Lee Tae Ah. Now Zhang Yixing sshi, sit your pretty down so I we can draw you." I sigh in relief as he plants his god-like body on the chair, not without smirking at me in the process.

​ing. Perfection. 

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"Here's what we're gonna do. You watch dramas at some point of the day. The cliche confessions and love letters given to the gorgeous female protagonist by the gangster antagonist with a 'heart of gold'", we laughed at Mr. Hyun's air quotes. "Now we all know whether in literature or in television, love is a main emotion. It drives one to do strange things for their beloved. What I want from you today is a love letter." 

The boys booed while the girl squealed adoringly. I remained indifferent to the matter. Words and poetry are my thing. 

"You can address it to that secret crush you've had since middle school or to a character in a drama. However, it must be at least three stanzas long but does not have to rhyme. Now don't play around with this. I want to feel what you write." He clapped his hand and gazed at the clock. 

"I'll stop you 15 minutes before class ends and we'll share our letters with the class. Dozo!" 

I couldn't even acknowledge the fact that he used Japanese. 

I picked up my pencil and put it down. This went on for 5 minutes before I felt a hand float onto my shoulder. 

"Is there a problem, Tae Ah?"

I looked at his hand, suddenly uncomfortable under his stare. "Ani...well...I don't know who I should write this to. It's suppose to be a love letter right, like a confession?"

"Dae. You haven't met anyone recently who has caused your heart to flutter?" He asked almost expectantly, like it was dire that I had to be smitten with someone. 

I thought for a moment. "I don't...", and it hit me,"yeah, I have."

His smile widened and he began to blush, squeezing my shoulder. "That's good, write it to him."

I sigh. "But it's complicated. He's older and flawless. Just out of my reach," I confessed hopelessly. 

Zhang Yixing could never be interested in me. 

He laughed, drawing in some attention. After everyone resumed to what they were doing, he bent down to my eye level and looked me square in the eye. "Age is never a boundary when it comes to love. Always remember that. And I'm sure he likes you also, your just not opening your eyes wide enough." 

I shrug. "I don't know, Seongseangnim."

"Trust me, Tae Ah. Listen with your heart, I'm sure his is calling out for you."

"Thank you, Seongseangnim. I think I know what I wanna say to him."

He winked at me, brushing his finger over my hand as he walked to help that Byunghee guy. I shivered and looked to my left. A girl I had never met before looked at me with the saddest eyes, as if to warn me of some hidden danger. 

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"...So saranghae, girl. You know I love chu!" The class cheered at Lee Sungyeol's messy English. Seongseangnim didn't seem too happy with it though. 

"Aish! When I said I want to feel it,I didn't mean like gagging. Okay whose next?"

No one raised their hand. 

"How about Tae Ah sshi, she's new. She should show us what she's got", suggested that Yuri girl. What a .

"Good idea. Tae Ah, please show the class what a real confession should sound like." If it weren't for the pleading look Seongseangnim gave me, I wouldn't have done it. 

I shakingly stood up. One deep breath. Here I go.

"Dear Boy,

Who are you?

Why are you mystifying gorgeous? 

And breathtakingly beautiful. 

Your hard to look at.

Will you be forever youthful?

You are radiant and graceful and reticent.

You, who is the source of my undying affections, dreams and devotions

The embers of my passion have yet to become simple ashes

It is as if I am suppose to desire you eternally

And I want to. And I will."

Breathe out. I slowly slump back into my seat. 

"That, students, is a true confession. Full of raw emotion. Well done!" Mr. Hyun claps, the class claps, and I sulk. This is not what I asked for. For my emotions to be hung on display and clapped at when someone finds amusement in them. They are making a mockery of my feelings. They have no idea how beautiful it is to feel this way about someone, to truly feel your whole self surrendering to love. And all they can do is clap? 

"What bull."

I huff as my feet carry me farther away. I hear Seongseangnim calling for me. "Tae Ah, where are you...? We're not...Come back. Class calm down. TAE AH! LEE TAE AH!" 

I couldn't stop walking like I couldn't stop those tears from seeping out of my eyes. This feeling, it's to heavy. It's crushing my chest. I can't breathe, I can't breathe. Someone get this feeling out of me. This scares me. 

A whimper escapes my mouth. I'm choking on these feelings, I can't breathe! 

"...Tae Ah?"

I turn around. 

"Why are you crying?"

Because your killing me, Zhang Yixing.

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Comment allez-vous? Je n'ai pas bien. Je me sens mal par tout. :( 

(I no feel good.)

But I decided not to and get up and update.

Wow, I got like 3(?) new subscribers ^^ Too happy~

And I finally buckled down and got Yixing's y in here, awkwardly I might add. (I also wrote that crappy confession to Lay like 3 days after seeing History mv)

In the next chapter I will reveal Seongseangnim's face to the world, that pedo 

To ShawolElf9640  Pour l'ecole, je parle francais mais pas bien. 

I love the comments so~ komawayo chingu and everyone who is finding time to even read my craziness.

P.S. I cried watching Exo12 on Happy Camp, Fantastic Thursday, and ExoM on Sunshine Day (which explains the headache and sore throat) I screamed so loud my neighbor came over to check if I was okay^^ 

Anyways do that thing where you reply to this chapter and then I look at it and spaz and clap like a dumb seal~

P.S.S I heard some weird rumor bananas aren't good for you. Don't believe that , I eat like 8 'nanas aday and am perfectly fine. Just sayin~

LilyLycan B.

d(^~^)b