*** please note that this entire chapter is written in Soohyun's point of view. thank you ***

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I knew there was something wrong with her. She was keeping something from me. Something big, something major.

But what? And why couldn’t she tell me? Didn’t she love me enough to let me know?

I loved her so much. When I first saw her, I felt… drawn to her. Attracted. I wasn’t lying when I said she was like a magnet. Why couldn’t she accept that fact? Why didn’t she believe me?

She made me confused.

Didn’t she trust me enough to let me know whatever secret she was keeping? Didn’t she love me enough? Or did she only accept my confession out of graciousness? Maybe she didn’t want to reject me because I was from U-Kiss. Maybe she didn’t want to reject me because she was too kind.

But she wasn’t that kind of person, was she? I didn’t think she was. I don’t believe she is, either. Maybe she would tell me her secret one day. Maybe now wasn’t the time.

Or maybe she didn’t trust me enough. Maybe she didn’t love me enough.

She made me hurt.

Then there was that first kiss on the beach. What she was thinking at that time, I had no idea. The only thing I knew was that, at that moment, I was in love. Perhaps a little fast, but I was in love with her.

Events in my life have always happened quickly anyway. My father’s death, my first crush in school, my debut with U-Kiss… everything.

I just hope she would have a permanent stay in my life. That she wouldn’t pass as quickly as those past events in my life.

That day when I saw her wrapped in a towel, I just… felt different. I had only seen her as a young girl, a young girl I loved very much up till that day. But when I saw her… exposed… I truly realized; she wasn’t a young girl, she was growing into a woman. I know I probably sound erted… but really, I can’t help myself for thinking this way.

She probably felt insecure about her body, but to me, she was the most beautiful person ever. Perhaps she couldn’t see how beautiful she really was. I wanted to make her realize that fact, though.

I couldn’t even control myself in the lift. Really, if the lights hadn’t gone on and the lift didn’t start up, who knows what I could’ve done to her? I needed to control myself… before I do something to her that I might totally regret.

She made me crazy.

Why do I love her? I often ask myself this. When my band mates asked me that question, I didn’t know how to answer them. Why? I couldn’t find a reason.

She made me feel so many things. She made me confused. She made me hurt. She made me crazy.

Yet I wanted her. I needed her.

I loved her. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------