5 June, 3.08pm

Dear Diary,

It’s been a week since my visit to the doctor’s. I’m sorry to say that my chemotherapy treatment hasn’t started yet, and that’s kinda my fault.

I locked myself in my room, only coming out for toilet and meals. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t even attend school, but that’s okay ‘cause mum already wrote in to the school. 

I’m wasting my life away. I don’t even listen to music nowadays, and to think I used to be obsessed with it.

I think I’ll return to school tomorrow. My best friend just texted me, saying she had some new boy group she wanted to recommend to me.

What do I do? Should I tell her?

I think I’ll stay silent about this. If she finds out, then she finds out. But before that, I have to make sure she doesn’t know. I don’t want anyone else to hurt when I leave.

I starting to see the symptoms of my illness. I’m coughing a lot lately, and sometimes I’m short of breath for no reason. I guess I’ll have to start my treatment soon.

My mother’s worried too. I know what I’m doing at the moment is really stupid, and I’m causing her to worry, but I can’t help it. I already feel like I’m dying.

Oh yeah, and my mum also told the school that I won’t be participating in any physical activities. Another thing I had to explain for to my best friend.

What’s the use, really? If I’m going to die, I might as well die right now, don’t drag it any further and just die.

My negative thoughts are overflowing. Tomorrow, when I go to school, I must smile. Smile and pretend nothing’s wrong, pretend that I’m not diagnosed with cancer. So that no one would worry about me.

I have to try my best, and be strong.

Love,

Me

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note

Double update guys!! XD Do comment~ I wanna know my silent readers ><