[Listen to: Pretty Face - Tahiti]

The fallen leaves scattered on the school grounds as the autumn season finally came. Summer was blissful and a new season is here to be enjoyed and be filled with memories. Seohyun was sitting with her friends on the benches near the school’s soccer field. She watched the leaves blown by subtle winds move from anywhere across the ground. It made her realize a simple thing: who knows where these leaves will be in the afternoon before finally being swept by the school janitors? Isn’t that what people are? We move from places to places, and eventually, some other people will find us. She liked the thought of it—appreciating the beauty of life and nature.

She averted her focus back on the topic her friends were talking about. Life is beautiful—even just by looking at her friends. They were considered as the group of most beautiful girls in the campus. Jessica sweetly laughed as her boyfriend together with Taeyeon, who was holding the hand of her boyfriend. Sooyoung and Yoona were having a topic of their own. The five of them were always talked about inside the school—whenever they will pass by, the other students will make a way for them, making sure the hallway’s spacious enough for the five of them to comfortably pass by. They were respected in the school, they were popular. But they weren’t the kind of girls to pick up fights and bully other students—that’s what makes the students admire them the most. Besides, they come from prestigious families and they perform well at school too. They were faces, attitude and brains—beautiful, kind and smart. They’re perfectly complete packages.

Everything about the five of them was beautiful, and so they feel like it.

“I have to go now, Tiffany-unnie is waiting for me.” Seohyun said as she quickly fixed her bag after class.

“You really need to get a boyfriend, or at least, a suitor.” Jessica joked and the other girls just laughed.

“Why? I’m fine like this.” Seohyun pouted as the five of them started walking towards the gate of the school.

“You should stop bothering your sister from picking you up every dismissal.” Sooyoung said. Seohyun just hugged her books tightly to her chest.

“We should rephrase that to: my sister should stop bothering me every dismissal just for me to accompany her in shopping.” Seohyun said and they chorused a melodic laugh. “Okay, I really have to run now. My sister’s waiting for me on the other block.” She said as she kept her phone inside her bag and waved goodbye to her friends. Her walking pace was fast that she bumped to someone as soon as she got outside the school. But the collision wasn’t that hard and the guy was rushing that he did not even bother apologizing so she did not mind it either.

As she was walking, her phone beeped. She was guessing it was her sister getting impatient as the clock ticked. She smiled at the thought of it so she opened her bag without looking at it to look for her phone, but she ended up getting a hand instead. She jumped in surprise to be holding someone’s hand. Then she finally saw a guy, dressed in normal clothes—nope, not school uniform, with fair skin and shiny hair, who was probably trying to steal something from her bag. She stepped back to create a space between the two of them. He just looked at her, and she didn’t know what to say either.

“By any chance, were you just…” Seohyun started. She never really encountered thieves or criminals before but she didn’t feel that scared. The guy did not look suspicious though.

“I wasn’t trying to steal anything from you, I think my wallet fell inside your bag.” The guy explained. Seohyun was confused. “I bumped to you earlier, so could you please just hand it back to me.”

Seohyun checked her bag for a while, and there, she saw a black leather wallet which seemed too old for a teenage guy like him but as she was about to hand it back to him, he saw him running away, being chased by two more guys. So she then decided to put it back inside her bag, return it sometime when fate permits, for them to meet again.

She then finally picked up her sister’s call, and ended up being scolded for being so slow. She just chuckled—that’s how her sister shows she cares for Seohyun.

She helped Tiffany pick some fabrics for her clothing line. Her sister was a famous fashion designer and was always busy. But Tiffany also spoiled her younger sister so much—which happened to be Seohyun. That’s why despite her work, she can still insert picking up Seohyun after school in her schedule.  

After an exhausting three hours spent with Tiffany, Seohyun finally came home. Her sister has her own flat and stayed there—and boy, if anyone goes in there, it’s really messy with lots of designs and threads and patches of various types of fabrics.

After having dinner with her parents, she went to her room and started reading for school works. Then she remembered the owner of the wallet she accidentally saw again inside her bag. She flipped it open, knowing she wouldn’t actually get take interest on stealing something inside it. But as she checked it, there were only a few dollars inside.

The next day came, and it was like the same as yesterday. Just the usual hangouts with her friends, the students giving them high respects and during dismissal, they hangout a little more—the only thing different from yesterday.

“My sister said she has a meeting somewhere.” Seohyun said as she walked together with her friends.

“That’s very unusual.” Sooyoung said—knowing Tiffany would always ditch any appointment for her younger sister.

“I know, but it’s okay. Maybe it’s something really important.” Seohyun said as she clutched her books to her chest. They stopped in front of the school, just outside the gate. “I’ll go this way.” She pointed to the left side of the street since she lives on the other side of the city, apart from where her friends live. She waved goodbye to her friends as she started walking.

A few students walked the same way as her to take the bus, or for her, to call a taxi.

She was walking peacefully when someone grabbed her arm, then she looked around and no one noticed she actually panicked for a bit. The man looked familiar. He was fair-skinned. His eyes were cute in a way, and he’s about the same height as her although maybe he’s kind of taller by a few centimetres than her. For the long and short of it, he did not look harmful at all. She doesn’t know him, but he really looked like a cute little boy. Despite that fact, the boy looked worried as his slinky eyes showed.

“I—I’m sorry, but is there anything you need?” Seohyun politely asked. The boy did not give her any hint of harm.

The boy looked behind, beside him—everywhere as if keeping an eye on something. Seohyun’s heart suddenly started thumping harder by each second. She took this as a sign that he may have been with other guys or other members of a gang to ambush or do something to her. She was about to shrug off his grip on her arm, when he started dragging her to an empty alley.

“I’m sorry, I mean no harm.” The guy spoke as both of them panted. He finally let go of her arm. She was about to run away but he stopped her. “I need my wallet back.” Seohyun stopped on her tracks and looked back. The boy looked like a child begging for ice cream. “I—I remember it was you—it was your bag that I accidentally dropped it—“

There was like a light bulb that lit up on Seohyun’s mind. “Ah! So it was yours!” Seohyun said with enthusiasm as she searched inside her bag.

The guy stepped a little closer to her and waited. But all he heard was a sigh from Seohyun. She looked up as she finally stopped rummaging inside her bag. “It seems that I left it at home when I fixed my bag yesterday…” She looked apologetic.

“Ah… is that so?” The boy looked even sadder.

“I’m sorry, but I did not intend to keep it for myself, I swear.” She raised her right hand, then put it down in a second. “Perhaps I can just pay you back right now what’s inside the wallet?”

“Neh? What do you mean?”

Seohyun smiled awkwardly, “I got curious last night so I had to open your wallet to see whoever owns it… which turns out you.”

“Ah, a-arraseoyo.” He said, still disappointment plastered in his tone of voice. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I had to run into you like this.” He smiled a bit—but it was obvious that he just forced himself to.

“I—I’m really sorry.” Seohyun apologized sincerely. “I can return it to you tomorrow—“

“Gwenchana—“

“Aniyo. I will really return it to you. But for now maybe I can do something for you as an apology. Is there anything you want? Drink, food—anything?” Seohyun asked and she found herself bringing the boy to a restaurant. It was just a simple grill restaurant and Seohyun couldn’t help but observe every movement the boy makes. He seemed to be always looking around—worried as if someone will come up to catch him, or he was really unfamiliar to the place.

Seohyun just held her chopsticks, stared at the boy who was hungrily eating the food they ordered. He seemed too hungry that she couldn’t even have the heart to get a piece of meat for herself. He noticed this and wiped his lips with the back of his hand. He shyly apologized, “I—I’m sorry. I was just too hungry. And the food’s really delicious.” To think that for Seohyun, it’s just an ordinary eatery.

“It’s okay.” Seohyun smiled. The boy just continued eating. “By the way,” Seohyun put down her chopsticks and continued watching the boy deliciously eat. “What’s your name?”

The boy almost choked, but he managed to swallow the food inside his mouth. He wiped again the sides of his mouth and faced Seohyun, “I’m Baekhyun—Byun Baekhyun.” He introduced himself.

“I’m Seo Joohyun.” She smiled, “But you can call me Seohyun.”

“Neh, Seohyun-shi.” Baekhyun smiled again like a child. “Oh, by any chance, are you related to the famous fashion designer?”

Seohyun could just a subtle and shy smile as she nodded. Seohyun was about to say something when Baekhyun suddenly put his cap on and lowered his head. His smile faded into a nervous curve of lips. Seohyun noticed a group of men came inside the restaurant, they looked around as if looking for someone. Seohyun looked too innocent to be suspected. Then they just left.

Baekhyun sighed in relief as soon as those guys left.

“Who were they?” Seohyun asked. Baekhyun avoided her eyes. “You were also running away from a group of guys when you accidentally dropped your wallet—“

“Thank you, Seohyun-shi. But I have to leave now.” Baekhyun fixed his bag and stood up, “I’ll meet you again one of these days—just please, don’t forget to bring my wallet with you all the time.”

Seohyun stood up with Baekhyun, “Wait!” Baekhyun paused and looked at her, “Why are you running away? And the wallet—the money is not that much, but why do you need it?”

Baekhyun was taken aback—but he swallowed the lump in his throat and answered, “I need money to live. Even with a small amount of money, I have to get by. And I don’t know where to get that amount of money—no matter how small that is.” Then he left.

Seohyun thought deeply as she carefully put the wallet inside her bag, in order not to forget it anymore. The innocent face of Baekhyun appeared inside her head, and he did not look like a criminal at all.

Filled with guilt because of what she asked earlier, she took her own wallet and added extra bucks inside Baekhyun’s wallet. It was enough to get through an entire month. Coming from a rich family, Seohyun did not mind at all. Besides, she was extremely sorry for asking—she was just curious about Baekhyun.

A few days passed by and Seohyun had always brought Baekhyun’s wallet with her. As she was walking towards where Tiffany parked her car, waiting for her after her dismissal, she noticed a familiar figure of a boy walking. He was looking down and that same cap covered his face.

“Ah, Baekhyun-shi!” Seohyun shouted from afar. Baekhyun looked up and saw her. He still looked a little worried, just like always. He had to walk a little faster towards her—aware of his surroundings and it was safe to just walk around as of the moment. As soon as she was in front of him, she handed him his wallet.

“Thank you.” Baekhyun plainly replied. He bowed slightly, but he wasn’t smiling.

“Is there something wrong?” Seohyun asked.

Baekhyun faked a small smile right away, “Nothing’s wrong. But really, thank you.” He said as he walked past Seohyun and continued walking.

 Little did she know that Baekhyun was homeless. He’s been running from those guys for so weeks now and he’s close to running out of money. He wanted to get an apartment but it’d be useless if they found him. He’s not a convict, he’s not a bad person. But he’s running away from the life that’s fated to him.

Seohyun was waiting on the usual block where Tiffany picks her. However, her sister was running late because she’s going to open a new boutique soon and she’s pretty busy these days. Seohyun understands that’s why she patiently waited for her sister. She stood there alone while some students just passed by her.

Suddenly, someone stood beside her as if waiting for a bus or a cab. But he just stared at her, amazed by how long it took for him to realize she dazzled in a crowd. She’s really beautiful even by just wearing that school uniform. Her body proportions are really perfect. Her height and milky skin make her even prettier.

Inside the orphanage, there was no one like her. He would just act nicely towards the girls there, but there’s no one as beautiful as Seohyun.

Seohyun noticed the guy beside her was staring at her. Instead of getting creeped out, she just smiled. “Baekhyun-shi!” she greeted. Baekhyun snapped out of his trance and smiled awkwardly. “What are you doing here? Do you live nearby? I always seem to bump into you.”

Avoiding the question of where he lives, he just smiled, “Yeah, I think so too.” Seohyun noticed how Baekhyun avoided her questions. Slowly, she’s trying to pick up the little pieces she knew about Baekhyun. Smart as she always was, a few days back, while waiting for Tiffany to pick her up—which turned out to not picking her at all, again due to some appointments, she saw Baekhyun sitting on a waiting shed bench, sleeping. She knew, from then on, that Baekhyun was homeless.

They stood there in silence, still waiting.

“Do you want to eat somewhere?” Baekhyun suddenly asked. Seohyun’s eyes lit up. She looked at her watch and nodded. While walking Baekhyun said, “You deserve a treat.”

“W-waeyo?”

“You did some magic to my wallet…” Baekhyun playfully smiled at her.

Seohyun looked away in guilt and shame, “Well, that’s… that’s…”

“You shouldn’t give that amount of money to anyone.” Baekhyun said. “You know it’s hard to earn money…”

“I—I know but—“

“But it seems that your family’s not having a hard time earning, so… I just have to be thankful, right?” Baekhyun cheekily smiled. “Let’s be friends, okay?”

Seohyun just nodded—besides, if Tiffany’s always going to be late to pick her up, she might need a company while waiting.

After eating, they walked together towards where Seohyun would be expecting Tiffany to pick her up. They stopped when they reached the spot and it seemed that Tiffany still wasn’t around. Baekhyun hesitated to leave Seohyun alone.

“Aniyo, gwenchanayo.” Seohyun said. “My sister will be here soon.”

“Then it’ll be fine if I wait for her to come before I leave you.” Baekhyun insisted on staying. After a few minutes of silence, Seohyun finally broke the ice.

“Baekhyun-shi,” she started. “I don’t mean to pry, but I’m just really curious.” Baekhyun looked at her. “Why are there people chasing after you?”

Baekhyun smiled awkwardly, “They’re not bad people, I’m not one either. I just don’t want to go back to a place where I know there’s nothing for me.”

“I-if it’s too personal, you don’t have to tell me—“

“I ran away from the orphanage, you don’t have to worry. I think it’s about time to tell someone about it.” Baekhyun continued, “I just wanted to see the life outside it. I wanted to try to live the way I never did before.”

Seohyun felt pity towards him. Her life was nothing like Baekhyun’s. She was living luxuriously. She was living perfectly while others seemed to be suffering. She felt like it was unfair for Baekhyun. “If that’s the case then you have to make the most of it before they could bring you back to the orphanage.”

“I know, right?” Baekhyun laughed, first time he smiled upon talking about his situation. “But I should really get a job first, I’m hanging by the money you gave me—and I swear I’m going to give it back to you.”

Then a light from a car flashed from their left, it was Tiffany’s. Seohyun’s eyes widened as if a brilliant idea came to cross her mind. “Can you meet me tomorrow after school? I think I can help you out on that one.” Seohyun said as she waved goodbye to him, running towards her sister’s car.

“You just have to stay in this room, watch the CCTVs from this screen together with another security agent. Then you’ll be shifting from time to time to roam around the place.” The head of the security instructed Baekhyun who just nodded. He was dressed appropriately in black suit, thanks to Seohyun for taking care of it.

After more instructions, Baekhyun left the room for break as he will start tonight as training. There he saw Seohyun waiting for him. She stood up from a bench with her hands clasped together. “How was it? How was it?” She asked excitedly.

“I can’t wait to start, but Seohyun-shi, you really don’t have to do this to help me.” Baekhyun said, quite shyly. “I could have looked for a job on my own.”

“It’s a pleasure to help, so you’re welcome.” Seohyun ignored his remark and just smiled at him. She eyed him from head to toe, “Wow, you look good on them.”

Baekhyun almost blushed. He scratched the back of his head and felt shy. “Thanks, I guess?”

Seohyun would always drop by the boutique where Baekhyun works and Tiffany would just wait for her there. She’d always see her younger sister hanging out with that security agent but she did not mind, as long as she can see Seohyun happy. Besides, Tiffany never saw Seohyun this kind of happy when with someone.

“Seohyun-ah,” Tiffany called her attention as she was happily chatting with Baekhyun. He quickly stood up and bowed in respect. “I have to go somewhere, will you manage to go home by yourself?”

“Neh?” Seohyun looked unsure. It was kind of late already. “O-of course, I can. You take care, unnie, okay?”

Tiffany smiled faintly, “I will.” Then she hinted Baekhyun something.

“I—I can walk you home.” Baekhyun finally said which made Tiffany smiled. “Not walk all the way from here, I mean I can send you home.” He shyly looked at Seohyun.

“Do you think Dad will kill us?” Seohyun asked her sister which made the three of them laugh.

“No, I don’t think so.” Tiffany said before kissing Seohyun goodbye. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Where’s your sister been going to these days?” Baekhyun asked as they were walking towards the security room. Baekhyun was starting to fix and clean the room as they were about to leave. Seohyun just followed.

“I don’t really know, I mean I’m not sure—will she open a new branch again? I don’t know.” Seohyun plainly answered. She shrugged her shoulders.

“Are you okay with it? I thought she used to drive you home always.” Baekhyun asked as he pulled down the door to close the shop. He finally locked it and faced Seohyun who stood behind him.

“I think I’m okay with it. Besides, I knew she’d be busy anyway. I just have to grow up too.” She said as they started walking.

“So that means you’ll be okay with it if I would be the one to send you home always?” Baekhyun suddenly asked, Seohyun wasn’t expecting to hear those words from him although she almost blushed at the thought of it.

“Uh—“ She stuttered. She didn’t know how to respond.

“Unless you want to walk home alone, I mean—“

“Of course, I’d love to!” Seohyun blurted out. Baekhyun just stared at her. “I mean it’d be nice for you to keep me company when going home.” Seohyun clarified. “Besides, I think it’d help my sister as well because she won’t have to feel obliged to drive me home, and wait for me from school. I can always just—“

“Seohyun—Seohyun-shi…” Baekhyun stopped from walking and faced her. “I get it. Okay? I get it.” Then he smiled at her which made her want to just hide behind a wall in shame. But Baekhyun just found it cute.

They walked in silence and rode a cab. They got down on the street where Seohyun’s home was. The street was kind of empty and it was dark already though it wasn’t that late yet. They walked side by side in silence when Baekhyun finally decided to break it before they reached Seohyun’s house.

“You know I don’t really have to do this.” Baekhyun said, Seohyun just glanced at him to give him a hint to continue with what he was saying. “I don’t know, something in me just finds the urge to go with you every day, make sure you’re safe and okay.” Baekhyun whole heartedly admitted. “I guess I’m just thankful, you know?” Seohyun looked at him who seemed so sincere with what he was saying. “I didn’t really expect us to be friends, especially that we both know where you’re coming from. We’re really from two different worlds and I’m just thankful that we can talk comfortably to each other. I just want you to know that I’m happy.”

They finally stopped in front of Seohyun’s home. They faced each other under the light that was only coming from the post on the street. It was a bit dim but they can still clearly see each other’s faces. “You’re interesting, Baekhyun. If you’re thanking me because of the job I got you, you’re very much welcome. And you’re not the only happy about us being close to each other.” Seohyun flashed him a shy smile on her last sentence.

Baekhyun smiled as well, “Well you should go inside before you start freezing out here.” He changed the topic purposely to avoid any more awkwardness they might have because of that conversation.

“Alright.” Seohyun said as she opened the gates. Baekhyun waved goodbye to her.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” She replied as she held the gate to close it. She was about to completely close it when Baekhyun called her.

“Don’t forget to drop by the store tomorrow. And on the next days.” Baekhyun reminded her and she could just utter a soft laugh as they finally said their final goodbyes for the night.

“This one’s really pretty.” Seohyun said as she adored a piece of hair clip from the market. Baekhyun decided to bring her somewhere before heading straight to her home. Baekhyun did not even pay attention to the clip Seohyun was holding that sparkled, he only looked at her.

“You don’t need that.” Baekhyun took the clip from her and returned it to the vendor selling hairclips. Seohyun pouted a bit in disappointment. She would have bought it for herself if Baekhyun wouldn’t. However, he saw the look on her face as he lifted her chin to look at him. “You’re already pretty even without it.” Baekhyun said looking directly at her eyes. It left Seohyun silent for a few seconds, so Baekhyun just ruffled her hair. “Come on, do you want to eat or not?” He said as he flashed her a smile before walking.

They were eating at a small diner together after they took a stroll in the market. They were just having casual conversation about random things when Baekhyun’s eyes lit up in fright upon seeing something from a distance.

“Is—is there something wrong? Baekhyun?” Seohyun noticed the fear in Baekhyun’s eyes. She tried to follow his gaze but the next thing she knew was Baekhyun holding her hand, tighter by every second, as he pulled her to run somewhere and as if to escape the whole town.

Seohyun panted when they reached an empty alley, it wasn’t that dark but Baekhyun kept her close to him by putting an arm over her shoulder and pulling her to him. She couldn’t remove his arms around her even if she wanted to see his face so badly. But with the contact, she could feel his heart beating fast against his chest. It wasn’t the beating of a heart’s that’s fluttered, it was thumping of the heart when it’s in fear and it’s nervous as if scared to death.

When Baekhyun saw a sign that the guys weren’t coming after them, he finally put down his arms around Seohyun’s shoulder and looked down. He wiped his sweat that was caused by extreme fear. Seohyun offered her handkerchief, making him aware that she was there because he looked as if he had forgotten he has company.

On their way to Seohyun’s home, they remained silent. Fear subsided from Baekhyun’s eyes, but his actions tell that he was still scared. Seohyun only managed to ask once what it was about but Baekhyun only avoided her gaze saying, “We have to get you home. It’s getting late.”

Seohyun remembered the fact that she met Baekhyun because he was running away too. It happened quite a lot of times before and now it started to happen again. Considering their conversations and moments shared, Seohyun thought she deserves to know what it was about. She waited for him to open it up before reaching her home, but he never did. For one last time, in front of their house’s gate, she faced him and asked, “You’re really not going to tell me what it was about, are you?”

Baekhyun looked at her, confusion filled his eyes. It was as if he wanted to tell her, but something held him back because it was a dark past. It was the side of reality he didn’t want to go back to. He wasn’t a murderer, he wasn’t a thief either. It was beyond that. “Just keep in mind I’m not a criminal. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can tell you now.”

Seohyun wanted to argue that if Baekhyun saw her as a friend, he would trust her and tell it to her—whatever horrible reason it was for him to run away. She wanted so badly to shout at him and squeeze out the secret inside him. But above all that, she felt a sting in her heart that made her realize what Baekhyun was hiding might be the world to him, and she didn’t even know it. and he didn’t even want to tell it. She saw Baekhyun as a friend, or maybe more than that, but he’ll never know it and the only way to show it was for her to understand him. She sighed lightly, keeping herself to sigh deeply as much as she wanted to, “I understand.” And that’s Seohyun for you. She took something out of her bag and reached for Baekhyun’s hand. He could only comply with what she was doing. Next thing he knew she was putting on a bracelet around his wrist, “I just want you to know you can trust me.” It was probably something from the market earlier. That single action made Baekhyun feel extremely guilty in every part of his body but he couldn’t hold Seohyun back as she already opened the gate to her house and entered.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” It was the only thing Baekhyun could say to console Seohyun as she was about to close the gates. They were the lamest words that existed for Baekhyun to let her know he did trust her, but not himself. She only looked at him with saddened eyes. Baekhyun thought it was a rejection, but he hoped it wasn’t.

Baekhyun glanced at his watch, eventually seeing the bracelet Seohyun gave her. It was already thirty minutes past the usual time Seohyun goes to the store to meet up with him. He was really close to getting off his shift from work. When he saw Tiffany arrived, he found himself relieved. However, when Tiffany looked at him, her expression took back the relief he just had.

“Seohyun is out with her friends. She told me she’s going to work with tons of school papers in the next few days too.” Tiffany looked sorry for Baekhyun.

It took a few seconds before Baekhyun could utter something, “Oh,” he said. But then it came to him that he should say more. “It’s okay. That’s Seohyun, right? She… she works hard at school. But thanks for delivering the… message.” Because somehow, he doubts that that’s the reason why Seohyun did not come today to meet up with him.

Several days passed by, and Seohyun really did not show up to him. It almost took him forever to muster up courage to be the one to come and meet her. He didn’t know when Tiffany said few days, it meant weeks. And the thought of not having Seohyun around him scared him even more than how the guys who went after him did.

Baekhyun waited for Seohyun outside the school and he saw her left with her group of friends. Baekhyun was kind of familiar with them because Seohyun had told him about them a lot. He was about to come up to her when he saw Seohyun met up with a tall guy in front of the school. He came out from his red stylish sports car, took off his sunglasses and opened his arms to welcome Seohyun in them. She hurriedly hugged him back, she looked so happy and excited. And with that, Baekhyun lost again all the courage to talk to Seohyun.

Instead of meeting Seohyun, he ended up drinking at a bar, all by himself. He wasn’t drunk, he wasn’t even tipsy. He hasn’t drank that much yet because he wanted to think without losing his mind. He was just staring at his glass of vodka when he heard noises from new comers in the bar. He wanted to ignore it but he heard a familiar voice and it felt like it was haunting him because he needed and wanted to talk to her.

Seohyun went to the bar, right exactly beside Baekhyun, without even knowing it was him beside her. She was getting drinks for her friends when the same guy she hugged earlier followed her and put an arm over her shoulder upon ordering more drinks.

Baekhyun made his presence known by standing from his seat, and stopping right then and there beside Seohyun, making contact with her body. She looked at him casually, and looked at him again, stared at him as if he was a ghost. “What are you doing here?” She asked.

“What am I doing here? I don’t know, let’s see.” Baekhyun looked at the direction of Seohyun’s friends, “Maybe I’m doing tons of school papers in this bar.” He looked back at Seohyun before walking away. Baekhyun’s presence did not scare her, it was more of a relief after not seeing him for weeks. However, his words worried her even more.

“Hey Chanyeol, I’m just going to the bathroom.” She told the guy beside her and he just cheekily nodded and smiled at her. She quickly followed Baekhyun, hoping he hasn’t gone far that yet.

Luckily, Seohyun saw Baekhyun just outside the bar breathing heavily as if he was really angry or something. She approached him and he saw her. But he just looked down and ignored her.

“What you said back there was totally immature.” Seohyun said. “I was asking in a serious manner and you just, blurt out the things I happened to tell my sister. What’s up with that?”

Baekhyun clenched his fists and put them inside his pockets to hide them from Seohyun. “What’s up with that?” He repeated what Seohyun asked. “I don’t know, maybe I believed it when you said you were doing school stuff and seeing you actually there inside a bar contradicts what you said.” He said with sarcasm. Seohyun hated that.

“Are you telling me that I lied to you just because you see me hanging out with my friends?”

“Friends? Oh, you call that ‘hugging a guy and actually him hugging you back, putting an arm over you’ hanging out with friends?” Baekhyun scoffed, “Wow that’s probably new to me. Last time I saw that happening was between couples.”

Seohyun scoffed too, “So you think I’m hitting on Chanyeol?”

“No, I think it was just inappropriate to reason out with school works when all you really want to do is show to the world a public display of affection with that…that Chanyeol, whoever that tall guy is.” Baekhyun said in fury. He was getting frustrated by the moment.

Seohyun eyed him, rolled her eyes and shook her head before stepping back. “Whatever, I’m not talking to you anymore. This is stupid.” She started walking back to the bar but Baekhyun let out an exasperated sigh and half-shouted.

“Fine, I’m stupid, okay? I’m stupid!” He said. That made Seohyun turn around and look at him. His eyes showed pain rather than fume.

“Yes, you are!” Seohyun shouted back, “Because it’s just plain stupid to think that I’m actually going out with my cousin! Are you out of your mind?!Chan. Yeol. Is. My. Cousin!” She emphasized every word of her last sentence before sighing in frustration once again. Baekhyun fell silent for a few seconds before he stopped her from going back to the bar.

“That’s beside the point, okay? I’m sorry.” He said, looking directly at her eyes which were already teary. He wasn’t sure if she’s about to cry but it hurt him looking at her hurt. And that’s because of his stupidity. “I just want to know why you were avoiding me. I thought we’re friends, alright? We’re supposed to—“

“Baekhyun,” She cut him off. “Even if I liked you more than friends, I thought we’re friends too, okay?” She took his hand and played a little with the bracelet she gave him. “I thought we are, I really did.” She said softly before letting go of his hand and looking at him, her first tear finally escaped from her eye but she quickly wiped them way. “I just couldn’t take the thought of that secret you’ve been hiding from me could be the real and actuality of who you are, and I happen not to know about it.” She looked down and wiped more tears before looking again at Baekhyun, “It hurts, Baekhyun. To think that I fell for the wrong person, or wrong side of you, and I know I can’t force it out of you, because I happened to learn to love you, and all I could do is understand—understand even if you’re not telling me anything.” Then she finally stepped back, and walked towards the bar. This time, Baekhyun couldn’t even stop her.

A few days passed by and the closeness between Seohyun and Baekhyun just started fading away. They drifted apart slowly. Seohyun never really met up with Baekhyun anymore. Baekhyun would just walk towards his small apartment alone and the night would always be boringly spent alone. As much as Seohyun focused on her school works, she actually couldn’t. she absurdly confessed her feelings toward Baekhyun, and that moment when she walked out on him, she wanted him to stop her again and tell her the same thing. But he didn’t. And that actually meant walking completely out of his life.

But of course, Baekhyun didn’t know that.

The only thing that Baekhyun knew was Seohyun was important to him, and words were never enough to describe how he felt for her, that he couldn’t even muster enough words to tell it to her. So it all ended up him, not being able to say anything at all.

“So how’s ‘Mr. Security’ going?” Sooyoung teased Seohyun—of course her friends knew about him. However, they didn’t exactly know what happened to them.

Seohyun just faked a smile, “There’s really nothing between us. You guys know that.”

“How can you guys end without even starting? That’s absurd!” Jessica said.

“Yeah, plus you really, really liked him!” Sooyoung agreed. Seohyun could just scoff.

“I mean seriously, he obviously liked you too. He just didn’t have the balls to tell it to you, but his actions already did.” Yoona said, making everyone agree.

“So where’s your Tiffany-unnie? It’s kinda getting late than usual.” Taeyeon said as they stood on the block waiting for Seohyun’s sister to come to fetch her. It’s been already quite a few minutes that Tiffany was late. It’s unusual.

Seohyun shrugged and checked her phone—exactly the same time when she received a text. “Guys, I—I have to go.” She quickly hailed a cab, leaving her friends in the middle of the street without even having the chance to ask her why she had to leave in a sudden.

Baekhyun closed the shop that night together with another employee. They pulled down the doors and upon locking it, “Did Ms. Tiffany actually come today? I think I must have missed it when she did,” Baekhyun asked the other guy.

“Oh, she couldn’t come. I heard she was rushed to the hospital.” He looked down.

“Pardon, D.O.-shi, did you just say she was rushed to the hospital? Our boss?” Baekhyun clarified, thinking he misheard what D.O. told him.

“Oh, you didn’t know? Tiffany-shi has been sick for a few months now—same reason why she couldn’t pick up her sister… Seo… Seohyun-shi? Yeah, Seohyun-shi—from school. She always goes to the hospital every now and then, sometimes I even drove for her when she visits the hospital.”  D.O. explained casually while locking the doors.

“She’s sick?” Baekhyun asked, clearly, Tiffany never showed she actually was sick. Especially in front of Seohyun, and he used to be with Seohyun always.

“Something with her kidney, I don’t know. She never really talked about it a lot. Sometimes, he’d just smile at me from the rear view mirror of the car and say, ‘I can’t die from a kidney transplant, right?’ she’d ask me those things. Even when she smiled, her eyes didn’t. She didn’t want to die. I hope she doesn’t.” D.O. said with sincerity, Tiffany was a really kind boss to them and all her workers really respect her.

 “She’s too good to die… too good.” Baekhyun said emptily, thinking and worrying about Seohyun who never really laid eyes on anyone else, but her sister—since she never really loved anyone more than her family. He knew just how important Tiffany was to Seohyun.

“Yeah, anyway, see you tomorrow, Baekhyun.” D.O. locked the last door and left Baekhyun.

Seohyun was sitting on a chair in the hospital lobby with her eyes blank, staring at nothingness of the floor, eyes puffed because of tears that she had just shed the entire time she was waiting outside the emergency room. She was alone there as her parents were talking to the doctor in another room. She only brought up her eyes when someone took her hand, asked her to stand up and follow.

“B-Baek—what are you doing?” He asked him. He looked really worried, scared—everything else that Seohyun couldn’t really read from his eyes. However, due to weakness and not finding the urge to stay mad at Baekhyun at the moment, she just let him bring her somewhere—but still inside the hospital.

They finally stopped in front of the nurse’s station, “How may I help you, sir?” One of the nurses asked.

“Baek, what are you doing? If you want to see my sister, you can just—“

“I’m the donor for Tiffany Hwang’s kidney transplant.” Baekhyun told the nurse, ignoring Seohyun but indirectly answering her question too. He handed the nurse a card, to which looked like an identification card to Seohyun. She was too shocked to understand what’s happening, especially when she saw at the back of the card something that says: Organ Orphans. And Baekhyun’s name and signature was on it.

The nurse finally handed Baekhyun some papers, and he just willingly signed them and filled up the forms. His other hand still holding Seohyun’s.

“Baek, don’t do this. Please.” Seohyun said before Baekhyun finally gave back the signed papers to the nurse. When he did, the nurse started processing them and Seohyun forcibly took her hand off Baekhyun’s. That moment was like when an engagement ring was thrown by the girl back to the guy who proposed to her. It hurt both parties.

Baekhyun couldn’t swallow the lump in his throat. He only followed Seohyun outside the hospital, and from the back, he could see her constantly wiping her tears. He hated himself for making her cry, yet again. She finally stopped on a wooden bench outside the hospital near the parking lot. It was freezing cold, but the pain surrounded Seohyun more. Baekhyun stopped walking for a while, he just stared at the whole figure of Seohyun, and every second he did, he just falls in love with her over and over again.

He loves her. And it is only now that he realized it when it hurt him looking at her crying.

“Stop crying.” Baekhyun removed Seohyun’s hands that were covering her face. He started wiping her tears with his own hands. He squatted to be able to see Seohyun’s face clearly as she was just looking down, unable to look at him.

“Baek, you really don’t have to do it…”  Seohyun mumbled in between sobs. Baekhyun only hushed her gently.

“Look at me, Seohyun.” Baekhyun said, cupping her cheeks. At first she declined to look at him, but she eventually did when he caressed her cheek. “I’m doing this because this is me, showing you the world that I’ve hidden away from you all this time. This is that ‘actuality’ that you were saying, and you’re right, you have to know it. and this is just the only way for me to tell you. This is who I am, Seohyun. I’m Byun Baekhyun from Organ Orphanage. I grew up to donate my organs as long as I live, until I die. I was raised to make sure other people will live when they’re about to die. I have always run away from those guys not because I’m a criminal but because sooner or later, they’d have me donate my own organs and I didn’t want that to happen.” Baekhyun’s eyes moisten, he could feel it and Seohyun could see it. Her tears were unstoppable at that moment. She couldn’t bear hearing a painful truth. “I didn’t want to die making other people live. I kept telling them before, ‘What have I done to be the one doing it?’ I always pointed it out to them that I wanted to live freely and as long as I can. I couldn’t tell it to you, because I wouldn’t want you to worry that much. I don’t want you to constantly side with me, and run away with me. I wanted you to just live with me, be with me all the time and I couldn’t let you think, even just for a second, that eventually, you’re going to lose me. I hated the fact that if you learned to love me, you wouldn’t let go of me when I have to run away again. I hate thinking that—“ Baekhyun’s first tear finally escaped from his left eye. This time Seohyun took his hand that was cupping her cheek and held both of his hands. “Seohyun I love you.” Baekhyun quickly wiped his tear and look at Seohyun, “And I know just how important Tiffany is to your life, and I’m really, really sorry, if I fooled you about what kind of person I really am. I mean, it’s also a shame… being me.”

“You’re crazy, Baek. You’re crazy.” Seohyun said, making Baekhyun flinch a bit. “You’re crazy to think that you’d do such thing because I’m important to you. what would you do, Baek… What would you do if I needed a heart transplant, huh? You can’t—“

“You can have my heart, Seohyun.” Baekhyun said, tears finally gone from his eyes. “You can always have it, you always have it. You’re the only one who can have it.” Seohyun tried to stop him, because his words were supposed to sound romantic, but they only sent daggers directly to her heart. And Baekhyun just continued, “You just have to keep my heart, Seohyun. You can break it, shatter it, it’s yours, Seohyun. But don’t ever throw it away, because I’m giving it to you to keep it.” Seohyun pulled him to his feet and hugged him really tightly. Baekhyun just embraced her back and finally said, “I love you.”

“I’m not going to keep your heart, I’m going to keep you by my side. It doesn’t matter if I have a heart disease, I just want to love you with my own heart, with the whole of it, with my whole life.” She finally removed Baekhyun’s arms around him, faced him and slowly and passionately, kissed him on the lips. “I love you, and I will always do.” Seohyun said before kissing him once again.

Baekhyun pulled away first and took something from his pocket. She took Seohyun’s right hand and gave her a hairclip similar to what she found before at the market, only better. “This one’s also yours.”

Seohyun’s words were the ones that Baekhyun remembered as he lied on the operating table, waiting for one of his kidneys to be removed from his own body, to be transferred to the body of someone who’s important to the person who’s meant the world to him. Seohyun could just hold the hairclip from Baekhyun as if her life dependent on it, as if the success of the transplant dependent on it. And this happened every time.

[Seohyun's POV]

I was scared that moment, seeing him smiling at me faintly before the anaesthesia took over his entire body, before his eyes closed. It hurts to think that that was the last time he’d be smiling at me, that he’d be looking at me, that I’d be seeing him alive. Because he donated his kidney to Tiffany, his right to donate and obligation to do so became active once again by the orphanage. He started donating more of his organs and watching him before every operation broke every part of me. Staying by his side always was the most I could do, to tell him every minute that I can, that I love him. That I have loved only him my entire life after my family. With that, he always told me, he was happy to hear that. And I’ll always be telling it to him that I love him as if what I’m doing for him wasn’t enough. It’s only been two years since he gave his kidney to my sister, and now he’s gone. The moment this fourth operation ends, there’s not a chance that he’ll live. Four was the most number of organ donations a person can do, and ironically, I’m glad he lasted until his fourth. I couldn’t imagine my life without him, but now I have to live without him.

I’m too young to love someone this much with my whole life and heart, and I’m too young to have the person I love die. I wanted to give more and love him more than I already do, but I don’t have the luxury of time anymore.

How should I go on? Now I’m the only one who can remember the way he smiles, the way his voice sounds… now I’m the only one who’s crying in front of the operating room, not seeing how Baekhyun is dying, but knowing he is.

It hurts. It hurts knowing it hurts. It hurts that much but I can only feel the hurt and live with it. Because he cannot live at all, not anymore.