Luhan POV

Beautiful, unsophisticated, white-skinned, witty, perfect. It will probably be an understatement to say she’s beautiful because of her long hair, milky-skin, long lashes, flawless body. It will be insufficient to say she’s unsophisticated because of the way she dresses or the way she speaks. It will be really wrong to say she’s white-skinned only because of the make-up or the bright flashes of light from the stage. It will be incomplete to say she’s witty all because she has a passion for reading books. I must say she’s witty because she is. It will be an overstatement to say she’s perfect for no one is. But for me, she is.

I may seem like a child waiting for every blowing of the cake in every birthday party I attend to. There’s always that feeling inside me that cannot seem to wait long enough. But part of me will always be shouting voicelessly. That there’s this person I look up to. A person I admire the most next to my parents. Nobody might seem to have noticed it, but she has always been the center of attraction, center of attention, center of affection, for each and every single day of my life.

Maybe one day, I’ll be brought out of this trance of lost thoughts that she’s becoming the reason why I live. I have to remember it’s my parents who kept me alive.

“So dance, dance, dance like it’s the last, last night of your life...” D.O.’s constant humming to the song brought me back to reality.

I looked at D.O. who seemed too occupied by practicing his lines when in fact, we’re singing it lip-synched. I looked back at the mirror as the stylists continued fixing my hair. That’s when I noticed D.O.’s singing the entire song. Oh, yes, good heavens blessed him good tongue for speaking in English. Like that ‘Girl, I can’t explain what I feel’ from What is Love.

I can hear the production staffs walking just around... as in everywhere. Everyone’s busy running back and forth instructing artists. It’s funny though that no matter how messy everything’s here at the backstage, there’s still that hollow space in my mind that makes me think about her. Only her. I wonder why. I mean it has always been a question that keeps on running inside my head.

I mean come on, there are nine girls from their group, and maybe we can add the five other girls from f(x). Or even BoA-sunbae. It’s like a plate of choices. Or maybe I can look at the sea of crowd and thousands of more beautiful girls are out there. It’s like having a freedom to choose whom I should think of, but she’s taking away that freedom from my bare hands.

In a way that I kind of like it.

I stood up from my seat to prepare for our performance. If you’re asking why I get all these excitement and having my nervous system contract every pulse from my veins, I supposed you know the feeling of a guy having to perform with the girl he adores. I mean that stage is going to be my kind of place called heaven once she stands there, once I do too. You get to perform with five other artists in front of thousands of fans but it’s funny how I’m the only one who knows exactly how I feel.

Do you have any idea how I wish every single day it will be an SM Town Concert? I know that’s really going to be tiring and impossible, but more to the needs of fans to squeal about their idols, it caters to the needs of my heart that’s longing to glance at her in every chance that I can get.

“Luhan, come on.” Sehun called me. I can hear the sounds of the song blasting from the gigantic speakers. From the backstage, aside from the beating of the song, I think my heart beats twice as fast. Do I get to sing with her? Not really. Do I get to hold her hand? Not really. Do I get to stand close to her? Not really. No matter how many ‘not really’s’ are lying out there, they all get burned because I get to see her dance to the groove, sing up to the beat, or maybe, there’s that chance that in less than four minutes, maybe a second or two, she might look at me.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to control myself and keep performing when all I want is to just stand there at the stage and watch her closely?

Fall in love at first glance... second, third, fourth, it will always be her.

And so it begins.

Dancing was quite tiring, I mean it’s really funny how we came up with the simple choreography. Tiffany kept on flashing her smile that sends some message to me. I just kept on smiling back. It would be rude not to, right?

I couldn’t hide my smile whenever I steal glances at Seohyun. It’s funny that she’s unaware that I have always been looking at her. I mean the more that she doesn’t notice it, the more chance I get to look at her and maybe melt her down with constant stealing of glances.

The position where I get to stand in front of her, it makes me want to stop dancing and turn around to just look at her and adore the beauty that she possesses. But of course, I can’t do that. So I just gave it all on my dancing, just in case there can be a chance to impress her even with just my back view. The show must go on.

It sounds crappy though. Because all the moment of us performing, she was clouding my thoughts. Lucky is Chanyeol’s shoulder for having her arms over it at the ending. No one... I swear no one has any idea how much I wanted to switch places with Chanyeol. Every. Single. SM. Town. Concert.

The lights went off after the performance. Well, it’s normal to just proceed to the exit, follow the lights of the production staff to be guided backstage. You know what’s funny... well, it’s not really funny, but I can’t seem to find the right term to describe it.

Just when I stood up, I did not expect to see her face so close to mine. Both of us were taken aback, well I’m so sorry, I thought Chanyeol was still standing there and I could probably hit his arm without him knowing my little begrudging. Heavens did not like how I cursed Chanyeol behind my head for the ending pose. But heavens blessed me to be standing this close to her.

There goes again my descriptive thoughts. Her beautiful eyes twisting my insides, her flawless skin that seem to take my breath away... just the thought of having her inches away from me without anyone seeing the very scene, with only dim lights coming from the cheering lightsticks of the fans, with only us knowing that we’re lost in our own little world...

“Hey, come on. This way.” OH, YES. MAYBE WE CAN HOLD GRUDGES TOWARDS THE PRODUCTION STAFF.

He tapped my back to follow him backstage. Well, it was dark. I somehow appreciate it that he had the urge to lead the way for me.

I followed him. All the thoughts were suddenly gone as much as I wanted to memorize every feature of her goddess-like face.

Hold on.

Wait.

Just a second, Mr. Thoughtful Production Staff.

I think we’re forgetting something.

I think I’m forgetting something.

I see no one behind me.

Well I can remember it clearly that I was left with Seohyun on that stage.

Since I already saw the path to the backstage, I took a step back and went back to the stage. But halfway to it, I saw her walking slowly towards my direction. Scratch that, who am I kidding? I mean, towards the backstage.

Oh, it’s like watching your bride walking down the aisle.

At all costs, she avoided my eyes. Cute.

Yes, maybe I have that magical power to see things in the dark. Well, come on, man. You’re looking at the person you really like and even at the dark, it’s not impossible to see her.

I walked towards her in the darkness of the surroundings... and slowly stretched out my arms and offered my hand. She looked at me questioningly, but I feel like holding a wire while standing on wet floor.

It sent shivers down to my spine. How awkward may that sound, but she was holding my hand.

Will tonight be the start of having a chance on her? I mean aside from sharing the same lyrics on DJ Got Us Fallin in Love Again. Can we share the same feelings too?

Seohyun’s POV

Tiffany threw the decorated black shades to me from a distance, good thing I was able to catch it. “Be a SWAG tonight!”

I just shook my head. She’s being playful again.

I stood firmly while the stylist noonas fix my stage outfit. Same thoughts bothered me. I’ll be performing with him. again. Tonight. Though half of me wished to have more stages with him, but still... no one has any idea how nervous I get to be standing feet away from him. while dancing. While singing.

His perfection is insulting my imperfection. I mean how do people see me? That unsophisticated, white-skinned maknae of SNSD? With nothing to do but read books? Maybe people see me as that beautiful and tall Seohyun all because I’m an idol who wears make-up and fancy clothes. Will he even think better than those people? No, right?

He’s not like a child waiting to blow his own cake. Between the two of us, who gets all excited? Only me, right? It’s only me. A one-sided childish infatuation.

I’m close to Super Junior members. Yunho and Changmin-oppa too. And of couse, SHINee! Those cute little juniors.

Looking at the thousands of fans out there. That’s probably enough.

But even if choices are right in front of me, why do I still have to look forward to performing with him? It’s not like we sing a ballad duet or something. We’re not going to be alone on that stage. We’ll perform with other artists. But why is the thought of having him on the same stage twist my insides? I swear to check on my doctor for that case.

So the performance begins.

I’m glad the choreography was full of jumping around and... well for short, I’m glad it won’t show my knees shaking. He’s one of the main dancers of his group. I am not.

Compare to him, I am no close to being perfect in dancing. He’s also good in singing right? Oh, it burns me. How untalented to I look to him? Wait, why am I thinking of such things?

I secretly frowned inside my head that he and Tiffany-unnie got a little interaction all throughout the song. FINE. Be happy with my unnie. The ending pose is something I get to put an arm over Chanyeol’s shoulder. Serves you right.

But isn’t it ironic that he’ll never notice my begrudging anyways. Sigh.

Lights went off after a few seconds after the performance. Funny how Chanyeol was suddenly gone beside me. And a breath of air surprised the tamed soul inside of me.

Luhan was standing too close to me. I know it’s dark but he’s... he’s right in front of me. No, not like when he was dancing in front of me. but he’s here-here. Is he aware of what he’s doing? Or he’s still processing the thought of how stupid could I am for not knowing the way to the backstage?

Before his gaze could melt me, someone interrupted us and tapped his shoulder. And like an air that moves, he was gone in front of me. Glad it was dark that no one can see me. I’m still astounded.

Before the next stage would be up, I had to find my way to the backstage. I slowly walked towards where I guess Luhan went... I slowly made me way... Until I saw a hand offering some help. Maybe I had to blink twice more to make sure it was him. Did he wait for me? Or am I being delusional again?

It was nice of him to offer me some help.

It’s quite awkward holding his hand while we’re walking towards the backstage where every busy staff and every artist are. As soon as we saw the dim light coming from the backstage, I slipped my hand off his. His sparkling eyes looked at me.

I just meekly smiled at him and bowed while saying thank you.

“Cause, baby toniiiight, the DJ got us falling in love again~” Tiffany came walking towards us. She exchanged looks with Luhan and then took my hand and led me towards our room to change clothes.

Well, of course, Tiffany-unnie was next to Hyoyeon-unnie to know about this childish infatuation of mine. Being that 4-dimensional maknae that I am, I knew nothing about stuffs like this. He’s not like Daniel Henney that Sica fantisizes. He’s that idol from a junior group of the same company as mine.

It’s every girl’s wish to have someone like him.

It’s every ‘Seohyun’s’ wish to know him.

I may be very delusional about it, but sometimes, I catch him stealing glances from me. Maybe because I do the same. Funny though. I hope cameras would never, ever catch me looking at him.

The concert continued and went on a flash.

It was fast before I knew it was the ending stage.

It’s fun interacting with so many fans! Giving heart signs to every random fan I can see is really fun. Having crazy dances with my unnies and laughing along with every SM Town artist is nothing compared to the moment when I noticed he was standing beside me.

He was beside me.

He was walking beside me.

Now it made me think why Leeteuk-oppa asked me who was my favourite oppa among SM Town artists. Why did I say it was him and Changmin.

Why do we lie in front of the cameras?

Who was I kidding when I said that! Clearly and not obviously, I like someone.

“He’s looking out for you~” Hyoyeon playfully whispered to my ear before running away. Jessica-unnie just dragged me from places to places.

I just laughed along with them.

The night went on.

His touch on my hand lingers even if I get to hold someone else’s hand me during the ending bow.

With all the confusing thoughts inside me head. On our way back to the backstage after the concert, after the final bow... he was there standing from a distance, looking at my way which I hope I’m not being delusional, his eyes sparkled—which was still very questionable how possible it was for him, he was smiling at me...

Will tonight be the start of having a chance on him? I mean aside from sharing the same lyrics on DJ Got Us Fallin in Love Again. Can we share the same feelings too?

[A/N: I ONLY WROTE THIS SCRIBBLE BECAUSE... SO WHAT IF SEOHAN IS REAL? KKK~
I'm going to be back next week, as in with real oneshots/updates. Serious-serious. Promise-promise!]