Listen: Almost - Jessica

Seohyun watched Jessica as she was rehearsing her solo stage for their concert. She was sitting on the floor while Jessica was playing the piano and humming the song, ‘Almost’. She was stared for a while. The song meant so much to her because it made her remember some memories that she treasured the most.

“Y-yah Seohyun-ah... I’m talking to you.” Jessica almost made Seohyun jump.  Seohyun has to blink twice to bring herself back to reality.

“N-neh unnie? I’m sorry. I’m just feeling a bit tired.” Seohyun pretended to yawn. “You’re still going to sing that song? Don’t you like to sing something new?”

“Save the rest later. Luhan’s looking for you.” Jessica gestured at the door and stopped playing piano, she turned to Seohyun. “You shouldn’t deprive yourself from the things that could be yours, Seohyun.”

Seohyun just chuckled, “You’re kidding me, right?” Seohyun stood up and dusted herself. “I think I’ll have a nice sleep instead. Practice hard, unnie.” Then there was a light knock on the door and it creaked slightly open.

“C-can I have a word, Seohyun-shi?” It was Luhan. Seohyun and Jessica glanced at each other.

“Told you.” Jessica mouthed as she resumed playing with the piano.

“N-neh. I’ll follow.” Seohyun told Luhan as he left the room. Seohyun looked at Jessica again, “I thought you were joking.”

“I never joked about love.” Jessica teased Seohyun as she just shook her head.

Seohyun nervously went outside the practice room. There she saw Luhan waiting for her. He was reading some documents. He straightened up when he heard the door clicked close. His eyes beamed at the sight of the beautiful and demure lady. Even if EXO has been a fan of SNSD, he always saw Seohyun differently.

Seohyun awkwardly cleared , “You have something to tell me?” she obviously avoided Luhan’s eyes.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve been working with the choreography of DJ Got Us Falling In Love. Sehun has done a great help too.” They started walking together.

“This one’s for the SM Town Concert in Taiwan. So I was thinking... when can we have our practice?” Luhan asked as he rolled the papers in his hands making it obvious that everything was so awkward between them.

Seohyun wrinkled her nose. “You’re asking me? Shouldn’t you be asking Taeyeon-unnie?”

Luhan gave out an embarrassed chuckle. “Well, of course. We need to consider every member’s availability.”

“I’ll probably ask Taeyeon-unnie and Tiffany-unnie first. We’ll consult you then for practices.” Seohyun formally conversed with Luhan. It wasn’t like this before. They were very good friends before EXO debuted. But everything changed between them when schedules got in between their relationship. Everything started being awkward.

Luhan sighed as Seohyun entered the elevator and went down. He was still frustrated that everything between him and Seohyun had changed after their debut.

“How about milk tea? Bubble tea?” Luhan suggested as he was walking together with Seohyun.

“Shouldn’t you be asking Sehun to go with you instead?” Seohyun chuckled at Luhan.

“Why? Can I hold his hand like this?” Luhan suddenly slipped his hand on Seohyun’s and held it tightly. “That would look so gay.” Luhan winked at her before dragging her with him without letting go of her hand.

With sufficient disguise, Seohyun can go out with Luhan freely. They enjoyed each other’s company so much. They found themselves compatible with each other. Meals together and having fun together—that’s their usual get up’s.

“Are you excited for your debut?” Seohyun asked as she rested her head on Luhan’s shoulder. They were at the roof top of their building and watching the city sky. It was full of shimmering stars. Luhan took her hand and rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. “Of course, you are. What a stupid question I asked.”

“I wonder what it would be like when we stand on that stage and perform for people.” Luhan said while gazing at the empty horizon.

“That would really give you a fantastic feeling. Of course, that’s every trainee’s dream.” Seohyun said as she squeezed Luhan’s hand.

Luhan loosened up and put an arm around Seohyun’s shoulder. “And you’re every man’s dream.” He softly gazed at Seohyun and her cheek.

Seohyun blushed and looked down to hide it. “Anyway, we should go down now. They must be looking for us.” She stood up to leave but Luhan stopped her by her arm. She looked at him with painful eyes. She just knew everything would change between her and Luhan once EXO debuts.

“Seohyun...” Luhan walked closer to her. “What are we?” Seohyun saw sincerity in his eyes. She saw Luhan as a man for her, but she knew it wouldn’t be good for them if they would push through and date. Luhan is just about to debut, she wouldn’t like it if she’ll ruin his career.

She gulped and avoided his eyes again, “We’re good friends.”

Luhan disappointedly put his hand back down on his side, “Friends.”

Seohyun wanted to take back her words. But she couldn’t. “In fact, really good friends. I mean, we go out and hang out together. Annoy each other and tease each other. We... eat together. We—” She said, forcing herself to smile.

“We love each other.” Luhan cut her off. She suddenly looked up at him. “But unfortunately, we can’t be together.” Her shoulders sulked. “Life . I know.”

Seohyun walked closer to Luhan, closing the gap between them. She took his hands and looked at them, how perfectly their hands intertwined. “Look, I want you to live your dreams. I would be one of the happiest persons when I witness you stand on that stage to sing and dance for your fans.” Luhan listened attentively, “Our feelings may be mutual. But I’d rather watch you live your dreams happily and successfully than to get in between them.”

“Are you... in other words, rejecting me?” Luhan asked.

“I—I’m not. I’m just saying that—” Before she could further explain herself, Luhan quickly stole a peck on her lips leaving her astounded.

“You are part of my every dream in life.” Luhan softly said. But before he could lean in for another kiss, his manager came interrupting them. They quickly stepped away from each other.

“Luhan, go down. Immediate practice.” He plainly said as he nudged Luhan to go down. Luhan just nodded as his manager left. He looked back at Seohyun and she gave him a look that says, ‘see? It’s impossible for us to be together.’

“In case this will be the last...” Luhan stepped closer to Seohyun again, “I’ll take this last chance.” He cupped her cheek and leaned in. He softly and passionately kissed Seohyun. But before the kiss could go deeper, he quickly let go and stepped back. He left Seohyun there and went down.

That’s the last time they interacted with each other. EXO became very busy with filming videos and practicing their debut songs.

Soon, EXO debuted. In fact, Sooyoung and Hyoyeon invited Seohyun to come to watch their debut showcase, but she held herself back and lied that she’s busy. She wanted to forget everything about Luhan. Their relationship before was just a bliss but she cannot make herself forget him.

The other SNSD members noticed that change in Seohyun and how she would always force herself to be as happy as before when she was with Luhan. In fact, they admire how good she acts when they're in front of the camera.

EXO-M left for China for their promotions and the interaction for Seohyun and Luhan became even more impossible.

And there’s only one thing she’s sure of.

She misses him.

“Can you help me change some of the keys of Almost?” Jessica approached Seohyun as she was sitting and sipping her milk tea. She handed her the piece.

“Sure, I’ll work on this later. I’ll just give you the revised one.” Seohyun took the piano chords from Sica. That afternoon, she headed towards the practice room to improve the tune of Almost for Jessica’s performance.

She sang the song as she finished the newly revised piano chords of Almost. Every lyric just reminded him of Luhan.

Can you tell me
How can one miss what she's never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be

How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that's too late
And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

I cannot believe I let you go
Or what I should say is I shoulda grabbed you up and never let you go
I shoulda went out with you
I shoulda made you my boo boy
Yes that's one time I shoulda broke the rules

I shoulda went on a date
Shoulda found a way to escape
Shoulda turned a almost into 
If it happens now its to late
How could I celebrate a love that wasn't real
And if it didn't happen why does my heart feel

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce

I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you 

A tear slipped on her cheek. She quickly wiped it and sighed to herself. “Pathetic, Joo Hyun. Just forget him.” She told herself as she gathered the papers and clutched them to her chest. She opened the door to leave and almost bumped into someone. She was surprised Luhan was there all along.

Luhan heard her sing. And every word in the lyrics just struck him too. It was pretty much obvious that Seohyun had just cried, it pierced his heart as well.

Seohyun looked down, “I’m sorry. Excuse me.” She went to his right to pass by when he held her arm.

“Can you stop by the other practice room tomorrow? Let’s finalize our performance...” Luhan coldly said. Seohyun just nodded with the thought, 'everything about us is just for our careers...' “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”  Luhan just left and headed the other way.

Seohyun gently closed the door behind her as Luhan was already dancing to DJ Got Us Falling In Love. Chanyeol, Sehun and D.O. were there too but Taeyeon and Tiffany said they will just catch up on the next practices.

All eyes were on her, but Luhan cleared his throat that brought Chanyeol, Sehun and D.O. back to work.

“Aish... hyung we’re tired.” Chanyeol childishly complained.

“Can we get something to eat first?” D.O. said.

“We’re just dancing. It’s not like it’s something new to you guys.” Luhan answered.

“We’ll just buy something to drink, hyung. How about you, noona? What do you want?” Sehun asked as he tapped Chanyeol and D.O. to come with him.

“I’m fine.” Seohyun smiled at Sehun.

“Are you sure?” Seohyun just nodded then Sehun turned to Luhan. “We’ll be back in a few minutes, hyung. Why don’t you just fix the positions with noona?”

Luhan sighed, “Okay.” Then the three left them.

It was awkward again. Seohyun looked around the room to distract herself. But Luhan approached her with a thin pile of paper and pen.

“So how do we do this...” Luhan sat on the floor and Seohyun sat across him. “Do you know how the structure of the stage would be?”

Seohyun tried to find her voice before speaking up, “Uhm... I think it’s just the same as the usual ones.”

Luhan nodded and started scribbling on the paper. “The three of you dance first because you got the sing the first part. There would be back-up dancers with you.”

“You guys should enter on this side.” Seohyun pointed at Luhan’s scribbles. “Divide yourselves into two groups so you could enter from both sides.”

Luhan nodded, “How about when we have the freestyle dancing?”

“Hmm. Just position ourselves casually. The stage would be spacious enough.”

“How about on the second chorus part? That’s your line, right?” Luhan asked.

“Taeyeon-unnie and Chanyeol would stay here. Then you and Tiffany would be here... D.O. and Sehun can stay on this side.” You pointed at the paper.

“How about when we dance the latter part of the song?” Luhan asked as he drew what Seohyun had said.

“We can position ourselves for the final pose.” Seohyun answered. Trying to remove the awkwardness between them. Work is work, that’s what she thought to herself.

“Oh, I see. Good idea.” Luhan nodded and scribbled some more on the paper. He smiled with content upon seeing the outcome. He then glanced at Seohyun. She quickly looked away. He chuckled inside. "I have another question."

Seohyun's eyebrows furrowed, she thought they were finished with the blockings. "What is it?" She took the paper out of Luhan's hands, trying to see if there's something wrong.

Luhan took back the paper, making Seohyun look at him. “How about we go out for lunch together?”