[A/N: WARNING! It's LONG. First, it was automatically marked M (Rated) because of language, not because of any rated scene because I don't write those kinds of things. But I don't like it marked as rated so I edited those parts with 'violent' language. :) ENJOY!]

Seohyun's POV

I was sitting alone at the park watching strangers pass by. Children were playing on the other sides, running and chasing after each other. Students like me walked by—I was pretty sure they just finished classes. Some were walking with their group of friends while others pass by their special companies.

My cell phone’s battery got drained. I was supposed to meet up with my boy (space) friend, Kris, after classes but there was nothing else to do but shake my bag for some coins. This telephone booth was quite a scene since there was a long queue before I could even stand and wait on the line. Or maybe I was just out of coins.

It’s funny, right?

Why do I even bother to make an effort just to give Kris a call? Was it because we’re good friends? Was it because I know he’ll be waiting for my call? Or maybe I had to yet admit to myself the list of reasons why I could line up on this payphone just to hear his voice.

I took out my one-thousand-peso bill. Maybe I could just buy a bottle of water from that convenience store just across the payphone just to have coins that I could use to call Kris.

“What, are you treating me out for dinner?” A heavy arm slung around my shoulders. It was that familiar voice that I’ve been waiting to hear since I woke up this morning. He snatched the bill from me. “I’ve been trying to call you, guess you stupidly drained your phone’s battery.”

I playfully rolled my eyes at him and snatched back my money and placed it inside my wallet, “I’m sorry, but a boring prof makes me play games on it.”

He took out his iPhone from his pocket, “Same.” He waved his phone to me and that’s when I realized his phone was battery-drained as well. I pinched his arms and he groaned as if it did hurt. That’s when we noticed that some of the people passing by were already looking at us.

Well, who cares?

I mentally slapped myself—of course everybody cares! I’m with Kris Wu—one of the well-known college basketball players in the country. He’s a basketball athlete of our university. He’s an irregular student because I think he failed one of his subject terms ago. Why? Don’t ask me about it—but his girl friend dumped him before and he got a little too miserable.

It was the talk of the town before.

But the issue eventually went down when Kris tried to compose himself back to the life he used to have. He played well again in the university team and maybe he already moved on. Well we never really talk about our first life fantasies (or in my world, it’s synonymous to love life as in reality, not some singers or actors).

I don’t know why Jessica dumped him. Jessica was part of the student body organization and well, she’s even too pretty to be a part of it, and she’s talented—she used to model in fashion shows or commercial films. Kris Wu and Jessica Jung—perfect couple. Before. Or maybe they could still be.

But how about me?

“How are you and Suho?” Kris’s question suddenly brought me back to reality. We were now walking towards Bulgogi Place—the place where our favourite chips were always available. I raised one of my eye brows at him with the thought ‘I thought we had a deal not to talk about our exes?’ but he did not even get me.

Frown obviously plastered on my face. I couldn’t help but to feel this way whenever Suho’s name was mentioned, “I’m fine.”

“And Suho?”

“Stop it, Wu. We both know he’s in Singapore.”  I said as we entered the vicinity of Bulgogi Place’s location. “And we had a deal to never talk about—“

“Our exes,” He completed my statement. “But he’s not your ex-boyfriend.”

“That’s the main point, Kris. He was never my boyfriend. So let’s not waste time talking about him.” I said as I opened the door of Bulgogi Place and looked for vacant table. I hoped Kris got me—it was never a good topic to talk about.

“My treat. Coach praised my performance earlier at the practice—I get to skip the meeting later. And I got a perfect score in our midterm exam in Global Society.” He winked at me and took his wallet with him to the counter. He probably sensed how my mood changed when he brought up the topic about Suho that why he suddenly changed the topic.

Suho was an average-looking and smartass pants I met when I was in first year college, but I got to know him when I was in third year high school because he was a famous author of this online novel I really loved. I was mesmerized when I met him. He was really good at English and Literature and he was sent as an exchange student for two terms in Singapore. We were in good terms—very good, to be honest—but things eventually went off.

Why?

I don’t know either. He just happened to ignore my calls and texts one day and remembering that the only thing he told me: I’m sorry we can’t be together. From all-night phone calls and somewhat flirting at the school canteen, we became a hi-and-bye relationship who just pass by each other, giving a sly smile. From holding hands and sharing meals, we went to him telling me ‘I’m dropping this class because I don’t like the professor’ when we both know we chose that professor together for us to have the same freaking class. From sweet nothings, we went to totally nothing.

I guess we’re all really bound to change. Suho’s not an exception. He’s human too and is bound to change. I’m a person who’s going to change too. But he just got first than me.

And I think I liked him so much that it did hurt.

Well I’m not as pathetic as Kris to fail his subjects just because his ex-girlfriend left him. I tried to move on. It was just an almost-boyfriend relationship I had with Suho and yes, I was hurt, but it’s never going to be the same again. Sometimes, the thought of ‘we were almost there’ still stings but after a minute, I’d try to think that things happen for a reason.

It was nearly impossible to get close with Kris—I wasn’t even a fan of this guy. Every other girl could be drooling over him but I was there, dejectedly asking, ‘Who’s Kris Wu?’ My friends would always slap the back of my head when I ask them that question. It’s just that I don’t really know him!

It was a boring class of History when someone entered the class and brought me back to reality saying, ‘Sir, sorry I’m late. The registrar just approved my enrolment adjustments.’ He approached the professor and handed him his assessment form to confirm that he belongs to my class. Why he had to adjust his schedules? It was because of his state of extreme depression over Jessica. While every other girl inside the class got hyped up, I had to quickly Google ‘Kris Wu’ to confirm if it was him. and blah! His photo popped up on the web page, and I just had to move like a ninja when he occupied the empty seat beside me and close the Google page.

I was never awkward with him because he never in any possible way other than he improved his free throw shooting—as my friend says—or mostly because my heart still longed for Suho.

Being seat mates allowed us get closer, get to know each other better. Most of the time, we work in pairs or when in groups, we choose to be at the same group. I’d always put in mind that he’s an athlete and his circle of friends would just revolve around his team mates. And he could use some friend. And I could try to be that friend. It wouldn’t hurt.

I hope.

“I could get you a ticket for our game on Wednesday.” Kris said when we were eating our meals. My notebook was open as we were talking about some stuffs—I was doing my home work as well—the multi-tasked me.

“Since we got to know each other, did it never sink into your mind that I’m not interested in watching basketball games?” I took a bite of my food and continued typing my home work.

“I could get you patron ticket—the seats behind our bench. Come on.” He whined like a child. I stopped typing and looked at him. I was supposed to say ‘Oh cute, but no thanks’ but his eyes were telling me something more than ‘Hey, I demand you to watch my game because I said so’ which was always a wrong logic. His eyes were directly looking at me as if saying, ‘Even just once, watch it because I’m going to play it like it’s for you’.

I blinked twice to avoid eye contact and tried playing with my food, “Wednesday’s a busy day.”

“Please?” He pleaded.

Must. Not. Give. In.

“It’s not like you’re going to do my home works for me.” I started encoding once again but I almost flinched when my fingers were stuck—Kris closed my laptop. I had no choice but to remove my hands off my laptop. “Kris—“

“It’s my birthday on Wednesday, please don’t decline.” He sighed.

Now I feel special.

But is it right to feel this way?

“Damn it, Kris. Can you wait—“

“No, I can’t.” He pulled held my wrist and dragged me to the study room of his condominium. I probably earned death glares from his fan girls because he’s literally holding my wrist like I’m a lost child. “We need to finish your paper because you’re going to watch our game tomorrow.”

“Wow. We?”

“Yes, I’m going to help you on it.” He said as he pulled the chair out and sat on it. Very gentle-man like. “Just sit down, will you?” He said as he opened his own laptop and took some of the books from my bag.

Wow he’s so into helping me tonight? I just wish Kris would stop giving me this feeling of being cared about or being important. For Pete’s sake, Suho gave me all these feelings as well.

Time slowly passed as we silently try our best to finish my post midterm paper. At times, I would steal glanced from him, he’s twiddling his fingers as if he’s too impatient. His used my pen to underline some important details from printed sources and I slapped his arm when I noticed he was biting the top tip of my pen.

UGH KRIS.

I shook my head and continued encoding when he spoke up, “You finally laid your fingers on your laptop. For an hour, you were just staring at me.” My eyes almost widened. He’s exaggerating, right??? He then started patting his shoulders, “Good job, Kris. You’re doing well.”

I punched his arm once again, “Just do your work.”

I continued encoding as dead air passed by. He’s damn serious about helping me out, eh? I saw him glanced at me before encoding using his own laptop, “So why were you at the payphone the other day?”

I looked at him and he glanced at me too, “There’s always that stupid part of me that says ‘Call Kris’ even if my phone’s out of battery.” I chuckled at my own non-humor answer. Awkward.

He flicked my forehead with my pen... that he just bit. Oh Holy Crap. GROSS!!! “Stepheeen!!!!”

He chuckled. Oh so he thought it was funny. UGH “Don’t worry, I always have the urge as well.”

I looked at him... am I getting him right? “You’d go to a telephone booth just to call me. HA-HA, Kris Wu. Very funny.” I awkwardly mumbled.

He flicked my forehead once again, “You’re funny.”

“I’m not trying to be funny.” I continued encoding. It’s pointless to waste my time on Kris’s nonsense little chit chats.

“But you make me happy.” He said. I suddenly stopped typing and I just had to look at him, he was looking at me too. It was like all the others in the study room disappeared and blackened with the background and there’s this spotlight focused on Kris. His eyes were sparkling and sent meaningful glance to me. I pursed my lips to keep me from smiling or worse, blushing.

“Now you’re funny.”

“Well I’m glad to know I make you happy too, so I’ll take that as a compliment.” He put down the papers and took another pile and scanned them. I was unaware that I spent half of the night watching him work on my paper.

I felt quite guilty that the basketball star Kris Wu made half of my paper.

But in order to ease the guilt, I’m willing to watch his game tomorrow. Oops, scratch that—our school’s game tomorrow, okay? Not just Kris.

I was walking towards Kris’s condo because he asked me to fetch him before we proceed to watch his game. “Stop it, Taeyeon. It’s not like he’s going to ever like me back.”

“Goddamnit, Seohyun. Come to your senses, he’ll never stay as your friend for this long if he’s not interested in you.” Taeyeon, my best friend, almost shouted at me from the other line.

“I should never assume. It happened before with Suho—“

“He is not freaking Suho.” Taeyeon hissed, “Seohyun, he’s Kris The Great Wu. He won’t stick to you at all if he’s—“

“He was broken before because of Jessica. And I just happened to befriend him. It could be a huge misunderstanding of feelings.” I said as I pressed the elevator up with my free hand.

“Whatever, Seohyun.” I could picture Taeyeon rolling her eyes. “How long will you hold in your true feelings for Kris?”

“Until I forget Suho.”

“You don’t love Suho anymore. You’re just blinded by the pain that he caused you.”

“Taeyeon... Being in good terms with Kris won’t make me risk it all for a stupid infatuation.” I said, “Just because he’s showing me his not-so-visible-but-incredibly-good-side of him doesn’t mean he likes me back.”

Taeyeon sighed, I could almost hear her say ‘Touche’ but what I heard was, “You cannot expect a guy to say he likes a someone, directly at that person, especially when he’s friends with her.”

The elevator dinged open and I went in. I pressed 17 since it was where Kris’s unit was. “I cannot expect him to like me. Let’s stop arguing about it, Jess.”

“If we stop arguing, will you ever stop bothering me?”

I chuckled, my best friend knows me too well. “Let’s argue on it next time, then.” We both chuckled as we hang up.

“Thank you, Seo!!!” Kris hugged me too tightly when I saw him waiting for me outside his unit.

“I wasn’t even greeting you yet.” I said, his body was pressed against mine and it was really, really, suffocating. Or maybe I was just afraid he might feel how fast my heart beats.

He finally loosened his embraced and fixed his bag on his shoulder, “Naah, seeing you come is enough.”

I walked a little faster so he won’t see how my cheeks flushed red. “Anyway, happy birthday.” I said without even looking at him. I could see him smirk beside me when we got inside the elevator.

“Can we go out today without having Jessica-Suho talks?” He asked, I looked at him in surprise. “Pinky swear?” He held up his hand to me.

I stared at it at first, “Wait. I’m still processing.”

Kris sighed with a smile on his face. Weird, actually. “Seo Joo Hyun, can’t I lie a little with time to ask the person that I like to go out with me to an actual date?”

I laughed awkwardly, “Very funny, Kris Wu. But I cannot pick up.”

He faced me and that’s when I realized how epically slow the elevator was. Earth to Seohyun, please. “Just promise me we won’t talk about anything that is related to Jessica and Suho.” He offered his hand again for a pinky swear. Wow cute.

Since I don’t want to assume anything about what Kris’s telling me right now, I took his and and swore with our little fingers. “Fine.”

It all happened in a matter of milliseconds. As soon as our fingers touched, he put a little force on it and pulled me to him and I felt his lips touched my forehead, “My game’s at night. But I thought we could use the whole day to celebrate my birthday.”

I was still too struck by what he did that I couldn’t move. His words were still processing in my head that I did not notice we reached the ground floor. I could see him from my peripheral vision that he was smiling. He swiftly took my hands and dragged me out of the elevator before it closed.

The thought of having the warmth of his hand touch mine all throughout the day still hadn’t sunk into me. Were doing this because we’re friends? Good friends?

What does Kris Wu see me as?

Was he doing this because he couldn’t do it anymore with Jessica?

But whatever the reason was, even if it might just hurt me in the end, I don’t friggin’ care because right now, with Kris beside me while holding my hand as if keeping me safe with him, the happiness that he brought to me could never be compared to anything at all.

I just let it all in and savoured the moment of being with Kris. And this time, I just had to assume, even at once, that we were together in a romantic way, and not because ‘we’re close friends’ way.

I dialled Kris’s number for the nth time, I ignored how my characters on the games on my phone are dying because I haven’t checked on them for a while and he ignored my calls back.

I rolled on my bed, unable to sleep peacefully for the whole week because I had been stupid. I was stupid. No wait, because Kris’s confusing me.

The night of his birthday, after his game, he was suddenly in a bad, bad mood because their team lost. And because I was this insensitive ‘not-so-fan’ of basketball, I couldn’t comfort him that much. HE WAS DAMN BADSHOT THAT HE SHOUTED AT ME WHEN I ASKED IF HE WAS OKAY.

The almost-perfect day I spent with him was blown away when he scolded me just because I was concerned.

It was completely miserable at the elevator.

“Well I’m sorry I was just concerned.” I sarcastically said, totally adding fuel to the fire that was burning his insides because they lost the last spot for the final four. I just didn’t like the way he shouted at me.

“Damn it, Seohyun. Just shut up!” He did it again.

That’s it.

When the elevator opened and reached his unit’s level, I stayed inside it. “Come on, let’s cool it down inside. Just... watch movies together.”

L O L

He’s asking me to watch movies with him to cool everything down. Very funny, Kris Wu. You just shouted at me. Twice. He stepped out of the elevator and waited for me to come with him. I looked away, it was as if tears were already blurring my eyes.

“No, Kris. I already gave you my whole day just to ruin the end of it.” I pressed the close button but he stopped it.

“Come on, Seohyun. I didn’t mean to, you know that...” He said. But I put up a broken smile on my face.

“Suho just got back from Singapore for a short vacation and Jessica just had a new boyfriend.” I said and it was enough for him to step back and watch the doors of the elevator close me in.

Since that night, Kris and I never really talked again. I wanted to at least say sorry—even if I didn’t do anything wrong at all. Well, aside from bringing up Suho and Jessica at the same time that night when we promised not to mention them. Well his words stung too much that I had to get even.

Which I regret. Right now.

His constant and purposely ignorance of my phone calls... was just too much.

I rolled to the other side of the bed until I almost fell on the floor.

The thing was I did not care even if Suho visited the country for three freaking days because I didn’t get in touch with him at all. I WAS HAVING PROBLEMS DEALING WITH KRIS.

AND KRIS ALONE.

Not to mention how I got scolded by Taeyeon.

But Kris hadn’t done anything at all. He was not showing any motives that he was interested on fixing whatever happened between us during the night of his birthday. I wasn’t born a robot to do everything stereotypically. I couldn’t just keep on running after him or calling him when he showed no reasons for me to.

MAYBE KRIS WAS JUST ANOTHER BAD LUCK ON MY FIRST LIFE FANTASY—A SECOND VERSION OF SUHO.

I didn’t even get the chance to tell him how I truly felt for him and he already broke my heart this bad.

Nice, Seohyun. Just grow old alone.

“Seohyun!” I heard Hyoyeon’s voice almost echoed along the pathwalk—though it was impossible because the walk’s too crowded. She squeezed herself into it just to catch up with me. “Our college will be having a party tonight at The Place’s roof top. It’s open to all the other colleges—including yours!”

I faked a smile. She just interrupted my ‘how to talk to Kris’ thoughts.

“Come on, come with us! It’s our college’s party—Engineering—meaning, more boys!”

HE HE HE Very funny, Hyoyeon. I couldn’t fix the me-and-Kris thing and now you’re asking me to meet new guys. Very well.

“No, Hyoyeon—“

“It’s Yuri’s birthday. Just go. Come on!” High school friends. When we talk about high school friends... THERE IS NO GOING BACK.

“Okay.” I sighed, “I’m not gonna drink. I’m just going to greet Yuri.”

“I doubt that to happen.” Hyoyeon playfully winked at me and went to the other direction and disappeared into the seemingly overcrowded path walk.

“Taeyeon, come with me, please, please, please.” I begged Taeyeon to come with me after our classes but all I received was a big slap of NO.

“Do you want Leeteuk to kill me?”

“He won’t because he’s your boyfriend and he loves you and—“

“Stop it, Seohyun. Just go and have fun. Say hi to your high school friends for me.” She said as she turned me down. I am your best friend, Taeyeon. How could you! “And a happy birthday to Yuri.”

I pouted. “I’m going to haunt you in your sleep tonight. Mark my word.” I narrowed my eyes at her as I just received a pinch on my arm.

“Just catch some fish.” She said before leaving me.

I am doomed.

HOW COULD TIME PASS BY THIS FAST? GOSH.

HE HE HE I think those lights were wonderful. It adds a cooler ambiance for the party. Too many people dancing on the floor. Why not dance on tables? Lessen the use of space, people! You’re overcrowding and blocking my sight of that cute engineering student—crap.

Am I tipsy? SHT WHAT IS WRONG. DO WE HAVE AN EARTHQUAKE. AM I ON A SHIP WHEN THERE’S AN ALARMING STORM SIGNAL. WHY DOES THE FLOOR FEEL LIKE BENDING SIDEWAYS.

HOLY SHIZZUS CREYST.

This isn’t good.

“Hey, gotcha little missy!” Ugh the birthday girl was quite drunk as well. AS WELL. OH GOD, AM I? “Whatcha doin’?” Yuri slung an arm around my neck and tried to cling her dear life onto it until she could probably snap my neck. Good thing Hyoyeon came.

“Damn it, Yuri’s first time and she’s gotten too drunk.” Hyoyeon told me.

“Oh, it’s okay. You know... first time. And birthday girl.” I playfully pinched Yuri’s nose as Hyoyeon helped her stand on her own. I removed Yuri’s arms around my neck as well.

“How are you, by the way?” Hyoyeon asked.

“Oh, I’m fine.” I said before I almost sat on an empty space. “Kidding.” Hyoyeon eyed me. “I’m going to get coffee and go home.”

“I’m going back to you, Seohyun. You’re not going home like that.”

“I’ll be fine, Hyoyeon. You know me.” I was supposed to pat her shoulder but I ended up patting her cheek. DAMN IT WHY IS THERE AN EARTHQUAKE.

Hyoyeon disappeared before I know it but I really need to get out of this place before the colourful cocktails tempt me to get tipsier.

I keep on pressing the elevator button though I was aware that I already did. I just wasn’t aware that I really did. DAMN IT.

STAIRS.

Wow, I’m doing good. Those were good ten floors off thirty-seven floors. It’s scorching hot, by the way. DAMN IT ANOTHER EARTHQUAKE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WILL I DIE TONIGHT.

I want to just roll down the stairs and have the time of my life. DAMN IT.

If I die tonight, would Kris even come to my funeral? GODDAMNIT, KRIS WU, YOU’RE GOING TO BE THE END OF ME.

WHY DIDN’T YOU ANSWER MY CALLS? WHY DID YOU IGNORE THEM? WHAT IF I ACTUALLY DIE TONIGHT, WILL YOU EVER REGRET?

DID YOU EVER FEEL SOMETHING BEYOND THIS ‘HEY, WE’RE GOOD FRIENDS’ FOR ME? WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY KRIS WU. THIS IS BEYOND INSANITY.

THIS ISN’T GOOD AT ALL.

DAMN IT, WU. DAMN IT. JUST DAMN IT.

I can’t talk any step anymore. Not anymore. Not when every emotion creep in. Damn it now I’m on the tenth floor and I got down to this floor just by taking the stares when I’m 80% tipsy. APPLAUSE FOR SEOHYUN!!!

I gave myself a pat for that.

I pressed the elevator button, because I just had to take the elevators down to the ground floor. I can’t do this to myself anymore.

The torture Kris had done to me in the past few days was enough and I shouldn’t be adding anything more to that.

I threw my emotions to the down button and I accidentally pressed the going-up button. OOPS. BLAME KRIS WU—

“Seohyun?” THAT VOICE RINGS A BELL, BY THE WAY. I DID NOT KNOW EARTHQUAKES CAN SPEAK.

Who was I kidding. The elevator doors opened and it was Kris with his team mates. Maybe they just got off from their training. Or whatever. Why should I care. This isn’t a guessing game.

“I’m sorry, I pressed the wrong button. Just close it.” I sheepishly smiled at his team mates, composing myself to make sure they won’t notice I’m kinda drunk. Or I was really drunk. “I’ll wait for it to go down.” I avoided Kris’s gaze at all cost.

“Wait for it to go down, huh?” Kris went off the elevator just before it closed. Now he’s with me at the empty hallway. I stepped back and leaned on the wall, probably just going to wait for the freaking elevator—WHAT THE—. Kris took my wrist and dragged me inside the other elevator. WHAT IS THIS EARTHQUAKE. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE.

I did not know there were actually four elevators.

OH I REMEMBER. I knew it. Maybe I was too drunk to even think of it. I always go here because this is the same condo of Kris. Damnit.

Before I could even press the ground floor’s button, he already pressed the 17^th level.

VERY FUNNY KRIS WU.

“Uhm, Kris...” I cleared my throat, “That’s very ungentleman-like, I’m supposed to go down to leave.”

“Why?” he plainly asked. HE HE WHY? WHYYYYY?????????

“Because I need to go back to my dorm. It’s kind of late.”

“It’s really late.” He said while looking at me. That’s when I noticed he was still holding my wrist as if his life depended on it. “Seohyun,”

“Kris, I’m not in the right mood to start another fight with you. I just have to go back to my dorm—“

“Seohyun, it’s almost twelve midnight.” Can I poke his friggin poker face. Or better yet, punch it.

“I know that’s why I need to go—“

“I cannot let you go and walk along the streets while you’re drunk like this.” Kris then dragged me out of the elevator when it opened. “I’m not that stupid.”

I watched Kris open the door of his unit. “Uhm, Kris, I can ride a cab—“

“No, you’re taking a bath to get rid of that stinking alcohol odor.” Kris pushed me inside his incredibly clean bathroom. He handed me towels and... “Just use my clothes after—to at least keep you clean.”

I was speechless. I think it finally sank into my head that there wasn’t any earthquake earlier. He took my bag off my shoulder and closed the bathroom door.

Shower sounds cool. I shouldn’t have drunk. I’m afraid Kris would continue giving me this cold treatment even after I get back to my senses.

I finally rinsed off the stinking smell of alcohol and Kris’s shirt was pretty oversized on my body. But good thing he let me borrow his ‘probably’ smallest boxer shorts. Better than nothing but undergarments, right?

Everything slowly became clearer. Kris just brought me inside his condo and didn’t want me to go to my dorm by myself. Just when I thought he stopped caring about me because of his ignorance to my calls, maybe he was just offended by what I did that he decided to avoid me.

But we’re good friends, right?

Friends.

Though this word hurts at times when you wanted ‘more’ but sometimes, it’s the least and most that we can ever have to feel at relieved. Or to feel loved. Even just as a friend.

I went out of the bathroom as carefully as possible. I’m quite back to my senses—only a little dizzy. But I can manage. I don’t want to cause Kris any more trouble or be a bothersome. I need to go and sleep at my own bed. And get over the things that happened.

I saw a coffee on the bedside table where my bag was placed. It was named Seohyun so I guess Kris went down to the coffee shop when I was showering. There go my insides twisting—confusions started again. When will Kris stop doing the things that only those boyfriends (without space) do for their girls.

I took a sip and took my phone, Hyoyeon was calling. I smiled at the thought of how caring were my friends. I told her I’m completely fine. And she bought it. Though I really am. But emotionally, I am not.

I looked around and saw Kris on the balcony. Slash terrace.

If I’d go, I should at least say thanks to him. I slowly opened the sliding doors, he looked at me—a gaze that was enough to send me to heavens. But right now, I have to stay foot.

I awkwardly cleared my throat, “Uhm, thanks for taking me in. I think I can manage to walk myself now.”

“You should stay inside, it’s kind of windy here.” He said but it wasn’t convincing for me to go back inside so instead, I walked towards the railings and stood beside him. I didn’t know the city looked this spectacular during this time of the day where half of the world is asleep. Only the twinkling lights from distant buildings could be seen.

But I guess Kris wasn’t lying when he said it’s windy.

“Just go back inside, I bought a coffee for you.” CAN YOU BUY A LOVELIFE FOR ME TOO?

“Kris,” I mumbled. I just realized I still had my voice so why not use it especially at times when I really need to speak myself up, “Why are you doing this?”

He looked at me, “Because we’re friends.”

Friends.

That’s so cute.

Does the word ‘friends’ have that onion-like sting to my eyes?

I blinked my eyes twice...make that thrice to hold the tears and clear my vision. “Friends...” I muttered.

“I don’t want those cab drivers to just take you anywhere or take advantage of you.” He added. “I’ll take a bullet for my friend, you know.”

Sometimes, I don’t want to hear the word ‘friend’ anymore—especially when it’s from Kris.

“Cool,” was all I could say. “Kris, I’m sorry.”

Dead air.

At least, it’s better than hearing, ‘we’re friends’ from him.

“About that night... I did not mean to mention Suho and Jessica... It’s just that I was offended with the way you—“

“No, I should be the one sorry.” He faced me, “Seohyun, I’m sorry for raising the tone of my voice on you.” He said as he took my hands and their warmth sent shivers down my spine. “I actually had fun with you that day, well I tried to.”

My eyebrows furrowed.

“I was supposed to go out with Jessica that day, but she had other things to do so I told myself to cheer up and I forcibly took you out with me.” He said. I thought only the word ‘friends’ stings my eyes?

“You mean...”

“Aside from losing the game, I was really feeling bad because Jessica did not come to watch my game. I’m sorry I threw all the emotions on you. And if you’re wondering... Yes, we’re back together. The boyfriend that you mentioned was me.” He said boyfriend without space right?

And that boy (space) friend would only work for me now.

It took a few minutes before I could find my voice back. “I’m happy for you, Kris.” I did not fake a smile anymore. “It’s just that I thought...” I could feel he was waiting for me to complete my statement. ‘We had something’ but instead, I said, “I really made you feel bad.” I faked a chuckle, “Anyway, it’s good to finally understand what happened.” I rubbed my arms, “It’s really cold. I’ll just finish the coffee and leave.”

But before I could go back inside, Kris held me back, “You don’t have to go. You can stay.”

I shook my head, “No, Kris. I don’t want to stay anymore in a place where I don’t really belong to.”

“But we’re friends.”

“We’re only friends, Kris. I’m not supposed to sleep at your place.” I said, “And you’re not supposed to make me fall for you because we’re only friends, and that’s what we’ll ever be.”

Kris’s grip on my arm loosened, I stepped back and went inside. I fixed my bag and took another sip of the coffee before changing back to my awfully smelling clothes. Well it’s better than going back to my dorm wearing Kris’s clothes.

I quickly changed and left Kris’s room.

Inside the elevator, I was searching inside my bag for my phone. I just have to talk to someone. But when I saw it, it was already out of battery. So I searched for coins from my bag.

I walked towards the payphone and put in some coins. I dialled my mom’s number and waited for its endless rings. I guess she’s already asleep but what can I expect? It’s nearly one in the morning and the street was empty.

Only my broken heart and I were left searching for the right place to put the pieces back together.

I leaned on the glass surrounding the payphone, I sighed to myself. Everything Kris-related just started flashing back in my head and I couldn’t avoid it. There’s no place to cry but this little telephone booth.

I wasted my night. I wasted my coins.

But my broken heart would never get healed.

If happy ever after did exist...