Listen: Miss Invisible - Marie Digby

Seohyun was sitting on a bench under a tree. She was holding her pen as her diary rests on her lap. The warm yet refreshing breeze brushes through her long hair that fell back on her shoulders. The falling leaves around were very amusing to her eyes as she continued scribbling down on her diary.

It was lunch at school and she was alone just like always. Sitting by herself and being away from the crowd was her usual hangout. It’s not that she did not have any friends at all, but she always preferred being alone. She always liked spending time by herself, reflecting and thinking things through.

She blankly watched every high school student pass by her. Some are with their group of friends walking together, laughing together. Some were walking alone with heavy books on their arms while some were walking with their best friends beside them. Some were rushing and running late for their next class, while some were savoring the moment of walking on the dried leaves. The crunches of the dried leaves were music to Seohyun’s ears.

She looked back down on her diary and realized her entry for the day is still empty.

She looked ahead of her, indeed the school is a busy place with different people walking on different paths of life. She slowly looked up as the sun beams brightly. She finally found the first words to write down on the blank page of her diary.

“I am dying.”

She flashed a pained smile to herself as the thought of her own death. She’s been suffering from a serious illness that she’s been hiding from the people around her—from all the other students. She always preferred being alone because she did not want to feel leaving the people around her who might actually grow close to her.

But there’s only one person she grew very close with, the only person who knew that she was sick. The only person who made her feel loved and safe even at the loss of hope.

The only person she used to spend her days with. The only person who can make her smile. The only person who complements her voice with his dancing skills. The only person who understands her. The only person who took care of her when everyone else in the school bullied her during their freshmen year. The only person who stayed up late at night just to help her master their lessons in several subjects. The only person who’d run the farthest just to return her handkerchief. The only person who’d recognize her smell from afar. The only person who’d curl her hair behind her ears whenever she’s eating with him.

The only person who saw her in a sea of people.

The only person she fell in love with.

And the only person who loved her back.

She wiped as a tear escaped from her eye. She cursed herself for being a cry-baby. Because right now, there’s no one to wipe her tears away but herself. There’s no one to console her sadness. She feels so alone right now.

She looked ahead of her again to think things back.

And there she saw him walking with his set of friends. The way he laughs with them…. she missed it. The way he walks side by side with them…. she missed it too.  The way he smiles, the way he talks, the way he is… just every way that he is…. She missed them all.

She misses him.

And it’s ironic that there’s nothing she can do. She remembered how the love their shared turned to be only the best memory right now.

“I’ll get you those flowers that you loved the most.” He said while pleading.

“But Kai, that’s my musical. How can you miss it?” Seohyun pouted while they were walking hand in hand.

“I can spend the night with you then, after my dance audition. Right? Would that be fine?” They stopped on their tracks and watched the scenery of Banpo Bridge.

“That’s my last musical stage… at least before I quit singing. You’re still going to dance even after missing the auditions, right?” Seohyun said, squeezing Kai’s hand in hers. “I mean, Kai… you’re a good dancer, there are still hundreds of opportunities for you. But this one’s my last…”

Kai looked down, “But it’s my dream to get to that audition…” He looked at their intertwined hands and caressed the back of Seohyun’s hand in his with his thumb.

Seohyun finally sighed, “Please? At least before I die?”

Kai’s head shot up, “You’re not going to die. Not when we’re happy. Not when we’re together. And for your information, we’re going to be happy together forever.”

Seohyun chuckled at his sweetness, “But that time will come.” She softly mumbled while cupping his cheek. Her touch had always sent shivers down his spine. It never grows old for him.

Kai finally sighed, “I’ll be going to you musical.” Seohyun’s eyes widened a bit in surprise. He stepped closer to her, “I love you more than my dreams for you are a dream that has already come true.”

Kai held Seohyun’s hand in his cheek and kissed the back of her hand. He stepped closer and softly kissed her forehead. “I will wait for you then. I promise you, there will be a time for greater opportunities for you to dance. And I will be there to watch you.”

“It doesn’t matter if I stop dancing. I could spend the rest of my life taking care of you, protecting you… and just loving you.” He gazed directly on Seohyun’s eyes. She could have melted that moment, but she was brought back to reality when he put one of his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Their foreheads touched making the romantic moment even more filled with emotions.

“Because you love me this much,” she mumbled, “it’s okay.” Kai gave her a questioning look. “I approve it. Go and audition. Just promise me one thing. Let me be the first person you’d tell about the results, okay?” Kai grew surprised and was touched but Seohyun’s words. A smile crept on his lips and he leaned in for a soft, romantic kiss.

The day of her last musical stage came. The same day for Kai’s dance audition.

Kai texted her: I’ll be coming over because I promised to tell you the results.

She clasped her hands hoping he’ll be bringing over a good news. The musical was done and she did not see Kai among the faces of the audience.

“Come to the after party, Seohyun-sshi.” Some of her co-artists told her. But she stayed there waiting for Kai to arrive. He must be caught up in some heavy traffic.

She wandered around the backstage. But she grew impatient so she sat there on the piano chair on the stage and played some musical pieces.

An hour passed by and he did not come.

In which she received a call for Kai’s mother telling her that Kai was caught up in a car accident. She found herself running towards the hospital. Panting as she arrived, Kai’s mother comforted her. She led her to his room with tears in her eyes….

He lied there, picking on his food….

He looked up to her, and she was glad he was safe.

“Kai…” She stood beside his bed and held his hand in hers… “I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re safe.”

“T-thank you… and you are?” Those were the last words she could remember from the painful memory. She never stopped blaming herself for Kai’s accident.

And she couldn’t blame him that even after all the sweet memories they spent together, she’s sitting alone in the bleachers most of the time, she walks by herself, takes lunch alone…. Because the person she used to be with can’t remember her at all.

At the present time, after exactly one year… even after trying to make him remember her and failing for a thousand times… she still loved him.

Her entry for the day was composed of two sentences only.

“I am dying. I don’t think there’s enough time for him to remember me.”

Weak spirit. Weak heart.

But no, she’s getting physically weaker every single day.

She watched Kai sat on the bench next to where she was sitting. There he sat with a girl she knew named Krystal. They laughed together like the way they did before. His soft gaze towards Krystal was exactly the same as he did towards her before. Seohyun finally realized that love might be true but it does not mean it could last forever.

Before closing her diary, she added a note saying, “I’ll wait for the day that he’ll ask me my name again… Just like the first time we’ve met. Even if that day will be the day of my death.”

She closed her eyes and breathed in fresh air. She dried her eyes and looked away from Kai and Krystal. She closed her little diary and stood up to leave.

But her surroundings started becoming blurry. She became dizzy and collapsed on the ground. Kai saw her fell on the ground so he immediately stood up to help her making Krystal shocked. He patted Seohyun’s cheeks, “A-agashi… wake up! Are you okay? Hey, wake up!” He easily carried her in his arms and Krystal approached him.

“Isn’t she the girl you’re supposed to ask the name of?” Krystal asked as Kai looked at the lifeless body of Seohyun in his arms.