“Here, have a beer.”

“Aish! You know I can’t drink.” I push his offer away.

“Just a sip. You may feel better after this.” Pressing my lips together in defeat, I take the can from his hand. I highly doubt that no matter how much alcohol I inject into my blood stream, I could not fight the feeling that is invading my consciousness slowly but surely.

“I’m afraid.” I take a sip. “And the worst part is, I don’t know what I’m afraid of. You know what I mean..” Gulping another mouthful of beer, I stand up to walk towards the balcony.  Resting my elbows on the rails, I took in a deep breath of my surroundings. The summer wind that carries the smell of the thriving city in Seoul, caresses my face as if trying to offer me some solace.

He shadows my movement and props himself just next to me. “Care to take a ride with me?”

I blink at him in disbelief, and then slap his shoulder half playfully, “Hey, I hate riding on motorbike! And you know that. My hair will get all messed up an the wind will dirty my face and those dust on my clothes and hair….”

“Quit it!” He snatches the beer from my hand and grabs my wrist. “Just this one last time, ok? It will be a ride that you will never forget.”

I giggle and allow him to lead me to his motorbike.

We speed through the streets of Seoul, exceeding the maximum speed limit allowable. I hold onto him tightly and at times, I thought my heart would leap out from the excitement of zapping in and out of cars after cars. I am not complaining and even find this extremely adrenaline pumping. I have been on his bike before, but today the dust and the wind that mess up my pampered face and hair does not bother me at all. For the first time, I do not abhor being stereotyped as poor as I could not afford a car.

But to Hyun Joong, he has come to terms that he is not loaded, so he has learnt to live and die by his only mode of transport. Neither does he aspire to get a car, even though I had persuaded many, many times that owning a car would raise his status in the caste system.  He is just happy with the way he is - poor and satisfied with only three meals a day a small roof over his head. This is one thing I am always in disagreement with him.

On contrary, I could not stand being poor. Being poor means I will be an easy target to be trampled on by the rich and outcasted. I want to have more than just three meals a day. I want to live in a big house. So, I convinced myself that when I grow up, I would marry a rich man and not allow others to have the littlest opportunity to look down on me. I want to relive the life in the lap of luxury!

I was the only daughter to my parents who owned a big company and we stayed in a bungalow with a huge garden. I used to have three full meals with plenty of good food spread across our table at every meal. However, ever since their sudden death while on a business trip, I was left an orphan, penniless and homeless overnight. Without any kin, the welfare organization decided to send me to the orphanage and that was where I met Hyun Joong. Since day one, he has protected me from being bullied by other children and was always around to take care of me in good health or in poor. I remembered the night when I had caught malaria, he stayed up all night just to ensure that my fever did not go beyond forty degrees. There is no one else I want to be with when I graduated from university, or when I had my first heartbreak from being cheated on by my first love. His love for me is immeasurable and I know he will always be by my side in good or bad times.     

It has been nearly two hours just cruising nowhere on the road. We stop by a roadside stall to eat pickled octopus and soju. 

“This is so yummy!”

“I’m happy that you are feeling better now.” He laughed. “Stop eating like you have not eaten in days. You would look fat on your wedding.”

Stuffing another tentacle into my mouth, I try chomping and talking  at the same time, “It’s ok. I wouldn’t be eating this anymore after I got married.”

Hyun Joong suddenly put down his glass and chopstick to look at me intently, “Do you really like Mr Im? Or do you like his wealth?”

As straightforward as always- but his question caught me by surprise today. In between chokes, my mind was working on the most diplomatic answer to his question.

Why do I need to think anyway if I’m in love with the man I’m going to marry?

“I grew up with you. I’m pretty sure I could read you correctly, at least 90% of the time. Marrying Mr Im..do you love him?” he continued.

“What do you mean? Why are you asking me this two days before my wedding?”

He persisted, “I need to know. Do you love him?”

LOVE…I used to use this word frequently proclaiming my feelings to Si Wan in the past. But I have not been able to say the same for the past month. I do not understand why the change either and subconsiously, I know I have avoided responding to my own doubts as well. Now faced with the question, I find it even harder to think, especially with Hyun Joong as the enquirer.

Why is my heart beating so rapidly now?

As he stares at me begging for an answer, I lower my head to evade any eye contact with him.  Just as I thought I could die right here under his interrogative eyes, his handphone rings. He shifts his attention to the caller as I continued drinking soju from my cup.

“It’s Min Jung.” He volunteers to announce the identity of the caller even before I ask.

Min Jung…this name does not ring a bell in my mind. “Who is she?”

Maybe I am oversensitive, but I am quite sure this time, he is the one who avoid eye contact with me.

“She’s my girlfriend. We have been going out for a month."

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I could not complete this for my friend's bday, but i'll still complete it so that the gift will not be half done.

I'm trying to complete this asap so as i was typing this story, i kept dozing off. So, pls dun mind how lousy this chpt turns out to be. Pls treat it as a leisure read only and do not have too much expectations. Haha! I'm a bad bad writer!