The bustling sound that reaches my ears sounds familiar.

The feel of the ‘ground’ beneath me feels so familiar

My eyes flicked open to take in the surroundings.

I am back in my room, my tiny single room apartment with cheap furniture and simple decorations.

Was all that happen just a dream? If it was a dream, when was the starting point?

Was the wedding just a dream? Or was Siwan just a conjured Mr Perfect in my imagination?

And were my feelings for Hyun Joong real?

“Are you feeling alright?”

My eyes dart towards the source of the voice.

I sit up immediately to get a better view of the person, “Min Ah…what happened?”

“You were having a very high fever and have been sleeping for three days.” Min Ah explains.

“Where’s Hyun Joong?” is my next question.

“So Min, you should rest more,” She comes over to the edge of my bed and places her hand on my shoulder.

Sensing something is amiss, I coaxed Min Ah to say more, “Why? Is something wrong?”

“So Min, I couldn’t tell you Hyun Joong’s whereabouts, because nobody knows where he is.”

I sink back into my bed and exhale a long sigh. So, it is true.

Nothing was a dream. It did happen.

I did break two men’s heart and Hyun Joong is really missing.

“How did I end up here, Min Ah?”

“Siwan brought you back from Fussen and he left after making sure you are well taken care of,” she offers to elaborate.

I look to Min Ah, and tears start to stream down my cheeks, “I mean… how did I end up making such a big mess of my life…”

Then, the dam breaks and I start sobbing uncontrollably.  Min Ah pulls me close to her and caresses my back to soothe me.

We stay in that position for who-knows-how-long. I finally drifted back to sleep from the crying and Min Ah left for home.

The next morning, I awake to find a quiet room that amplifies even the sound of the friction of my bedsheet and the movement of my legs. I pick up my handphone from the bedside table to check for any missing calls and SMSes. There is a miss call from Min Ah and several unread messages

From: Min Ah

Morning sleepyhead! Called you but you didn’t pick up. Guess you must be still in La-La-Land. How are you feeling today? I’ve bought breakfast. It’s outside your door. Bon Appetite!

Warmed by her sweet gesture, I begin to key in a reply message to her.
 

To: Min Ah

Sorry to miss your call. I just woke up. Thanks for breakfast! I’m feeling ok. Don’t worry about me. Love you!

Scrolling down the rest of the messages that are merely messages from friends who tell me that they have heard about my runaway bride’s stint. Some are concerned if I am ok, and some are downright unforgiving of how I have wasted away such a good catch. Strangely, I do not feel affected by their remarks and even smiles at some of those.

Probably, I know that this is the wisest decision that I had made in my 23 years.

I finally come to the last message that was receive early this morning and am hesitant to open it.

It is from Siwan.

Though we had forgave and be forgiven at the airport, I still feel that I had done him wrong. Still, I click to view his message as I am curious to know what he wants to convey in his message.

From: Dear (I should change his nickname back to his proper name after this.)

I hope you are fine now. I’m sorry that I could not stay with you till you wake up, as I have an important task to. But I trust that you will be safe in Min Ah’s good hands. If you are feeling good and strong, do you mind having coffee with me at Haven’s Coffee House at 3pm today? I have sent you the map to the location. I recommend that you take a walk towards the coffee house from Myeongdong Metro Station as I’m sure you will enjoy the scenic view along the way. Please let me know that you will come, for old time’s sake.

Blushing at the pleading note in his message, I reason that he should not be begging me to come. I owe him a lot and I will definitely accede to such a simple request.

To: Siwan (I have changed his name on the address book)

Yes, I’ll be there. See you!

Putting aside the phone, I scan my home carefully for the first time after I left for Fussen a few days ago. I thought when I went through that door it would be the last time I see of this shack. And now, here I am, back again as its rightful owner. Probably, this will be still my final resting place when it is my turn to go.

Nothing has changed.

I take in a deep breath. To put it that I do not regret at all giving up the title of being Mrs Im would be a lie. But to continue pretending that the person I most desire to live with for the rest of my life is none other than Hyun Joong, would be a greater regret, I am sure.

Well, since I have chosen to take this path, I should brace up and face what may come in this less than perfect life that I will continue live in. Though not entirely the life that I had dreamed of, but I feel free from anymore self deception at least.

Life goes on.

I jump out of bed and start fixing my bed. Next, I pick up the breakfast that Min Ah bought and eat them hungrily. I devour my ramen like a ferocious animal. I am glad that there are no mirrors in my home to reflect how I must have looked during the feast or I would end up frightening myself. After a satisfying feed, I take out a broom, a cloth and a pail of water to start a spring cleaning. My home is not exactly dirty as Min Ah has done some cleaning here and there. I just need to do something to occupy my time. When everything in the room is sparking and shining under my skilful hands, I took my turn in the bathroom to wash off the perspiration accumulated from the hard work. When I step out of the shower, it is already time to move out to meet Siwan.

Following his recommendation, I alight at Myeongdong Metro and navigate my way towards Haven’s Coffee House. As I was strolling at a comfortable pace, I start talking to myself while humming ‘I’m Yours’ off key.

‘Isn’t it amazing how the female species can multi task,’ I begin my conversation mentally as I am amazed that I could walk, hum and think at the same time.

‘So, after today, what should I do?’

‘Well, first of all, I should search for Hyun Joong. And then what’s next?’

‘I should also at the same time secure a job because with no money to feed myself, I could not sustain if the search will be a prolonged one.’

‘Hyun Joong, where are you? I wish I could tell you here and now that I miss and I love you. And I want to be with you even though we have to endure many hardships together.’

I do not realise that talking to myself could be so preoccupying until I reach the destination. The coffee house is beige bungalow, overlooking a huge garden of lavender and rose. In the middle of the garden is a cupid fountain and on the edge of the green pasture is a Victorian style swing. Daze, I walk through the wrought iron gate with intricate design that is overarched by the coffee house’s signboard bearing its name.  

This place looks oddly so close to my heart.

The scent of this place that intrigues my nostril smells so familiar.

The edifice of the coffee house…it..it looks like somewhere I have missed for a long, long time and…

…and the swing that I am sensing through my fingers now…is feels so much like the one that I had used to play on with my beloved parents….

This is where I was born!

This is where I had spent the happiest childhood of my life!

It has been so long ago. I had tried very hard to forget that this place ever existed for this house, with all my happiest memories with my Papa and Mama, pains me whenever I think about it. But the more I tried to forget them, the tighter was my clutch to relive those days.

Now, I realise that it is not the feeling of staying in a big house or living a rich life that I have been clinging on. I wanted to be rich because I wanted to relive the happy days that I had spent with my parents. I have never stop loving and missing them, and I thought I could feel that same way once I gained back that kind of life.

How stupid have I been all this while. If I had learnt to accept these memories, I would not have pursued the absurd dream of marrying a rich man. I could be just content to be what I have!   

At this moment, my heart is aching. I could feel tears threatening to break through my eyes and I am trying to hold them back. No, I should not allow myself to break down and be a weakling. I need to be strong, the same strong nobody’s child who did not shed a tear when her parents passed away and when thrown into an orphanage without Papa’s smile and Mama’s kisses anymore.  

Suddenly a pair of strong arms spins me around to face its owner. I look up quickly to identify the person who has taken me by surprise.

“Cry if you want to. You don’t have to carry this heavy burden on your own.”

“Because I’m here for you.”

He folded me into his arms as I rested onto his body and let the tears flow, washing away all pent up sorrow of my childhood.    

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Bowwow

If it wasn't for a bet with the friend whom this story was intended for, I could not have updated today. Anyway the outcome of the bet is, I lost and I owe her a week's supply of bubble tea. ^_^

But that's a good bet cos it benefitted both of us- she finished her assignment that she planned to complete by today and I wrote this chapter in record breaking time. It was my honour to lose in the bet.

Personally, I was very emotional and near to tears when writing the last part of this chapter. I don't know how well i could convey well my feelings in the story to you but even if you don't, it is ok.  I just hope that you could feel a teeny weeny bit of the emotion and So Min's struggles.

Thanks for your last encouraging comments. I am very, very glad to see your posted message here.

Arwen, sorry that you lost some chapters in your story. I feel bad that i was already complaining over just a few lost comments and views. Please continue to update great chapters cos I'm looking forward to your interesting stories

Zie, Don't think I will forget about pestering for your next updates too. I never forget to look out for your new chaps. Adding pressure to you, hah! =p

Hope you enjoy reading this chapter. Pretty long but hope you could bear with it and read till the end, even for just once.