It was a month ago that I spent a day in the hospital.
I didn’t saw Joon or Hara again. But I spent everytime to watch a broadcast where he performed. I felt like a sasaeng. But what could I do? I loved him. Every night I thought about the time we have spent together. Our first and last dance, our hugs, every word he said to me and the night we spend togehter in one bed. Even if don’t remeber everything. What did he said? .....“Yes, oh maybe you don't remember because you where so sleepy. But I asked you before and you said yes, so I hope it’s not a big problem now”.....
1. He asked me. That was in my dream too. So this is true, I think.
2. I was sleepy. I wasn’t sleepy I couldn’t sleep, but I pretended to sleep in my dream and in real life maybe too.
But he never said something about kissing. So this was definitely a dream.
How could he change his feelings in one day. What did Hara said to him. And again I have to cry. He is my big love the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Why has he to take Hara? Why her, what makes she so special to him? Is she prettier than me? I look better without make up, I don’t have puffy eyes. Why does he love her?
“Do you think again? Man after you spend the day in the hospital you changed. You got quieter and sadder. What happend to you huh?” my manager asked me. He’s right this whole think changed me alot, but what can I do? I always act in shows to pretend that nothing happend that changed me. I just can act, this is everything I can do I can’t change it.
“Hey stop crying now. You have to go on stage.”
I got up, wiped my tears away and went to the stage but when I arrived there I saw a person I didn't wanted to see again.
“Hey!! OMG it’s so long time ago that I saw you. How have you been? I heard you were in the hospital. Are you alright now?”
“Yes I am feeling good, thank you for asking Hara”
The last words were realy hard to say.
But now is she here, after she is now together with Joon why don’t I ask her how she got him and what she told him.
“Realy you don’t look like you're feeling good. Did you realy overwork yourself? Because you didn't seemed overworked at the club” Hara said curious.
“Hey I will tell you everything later I have to go now on stage. Can you wait in my room? I have to talk to you ok?”
“Ehmm ok, see you then”
I got on the stage and showed a great performance.
When I got back in my room Hara already waited there.
“´Hey your performance was great!”
“Can you all please leave the room?” I asked the staff. Everyone exept Hara left the room. Hara just looked me in the eyes with a confused look.
“Why should everyone leave?” she asked.