December 19, 2010

Dearest Tao,

       The darkness is consuming me. My own ability is eating me alive. I don't know how much time I have left. Can you stop time for me please? Even if it's for a little while, I would like time to pause. I feel like the moon is calling out for me. I think it wants me there because it's all alone in the dark. It would be nice if the moon had friends just like the sun. The sun has many stars to befriend with since it's a star itself and the moon is feeling very sad and lonely these days. It makes me cry.

       Tao, I would love to see you again before I leave this world. The children who have also been staying at the hospital has been visiting me. They're all little cute balls of sunshine. These days I don't have enough strength to even get out of bed. I have so many wires attached to my body to help adjust me to my daily life. Even breathing has become so hard. I'm very glad none of Exo has to go through this pain. I'm glad you guys have strength to fight. Has Kyungsoo been cooking good and healthy meals? Ah, it would be lovely to taste his good cooking once more. I miss his mom – like attitude. He's so funny.

       The doctors over here look at me with such pity in their eyes. I fear that they won't be able to help me just like back home. Ah, home. I miss home. Do you miss home? Do any of you ever get homesick? Tao, do you even think of me anymore?

       Sometimes I feel very pathetic writing these letters to you. I'm quite positive you have never received a single one. I guess I'll just have to keep on ranting about things in these letters and maybe someone will understand what I'm going through.

        Well, person who is reading this letter, how are you? Is your part of the world doing okay? Is your family healthy? I am quite thankful for having you to read my letter. I'm sorry that I can't put an address for you to contact me. It's just that I'm not even sure what this big city is even called. I can tell you though that it is very loud and busy filled with many people roaming around. I'm the only person who has an ability according to the doctors. Everyone else are just normal beings. Do you have a special power within yourself?

       I wish I could fly like a bird and smell the fresh air in the sky.

Yours truly,

       Kim Eunbi