5.       Pretending you’re ok when inside your dying.

I gathered all my courage and stand though my knees are shaking I walk towards him. “Sungmin, are you okay?” I asked though I know the answer and I know I need to pretend to be strong just for you.

                                                                                                                                  ~Kyuhyun

SUNGMIN’s POV

I cried and cried until I felt my throat dries up.  I was in my deep thoughts when someone called my name.

 “Sungmin, are you ok?” What a question? Can’t you see I am not but I know this voice. I lifted my head and I was right, it was him. Why is he here? He shouldn’t see me like this. I quickly stood from where I was sitting and about to ran away again but he held my hand.

“Sungmin…”

I quickly wipe my tears and faced him.

“Kyuhyun…I am fine. Why are you here?” I looked at him in the eyes and I can see the worries he feels and his eyes are red too, did he cried?

“Kyu, are you okay? Your eyes are red.”

I restrain myself to touch him. Though I want to be far away from him, I am still worried about him.

“Yeah, I am okay too. Thanks for asking.”

He sits on the bench and pulls me next to him. I can’t explain the happiness I felt during this time, to be this close to him, to feel his presence sitting next to me but I need to stay still and act like it is nothing.

“Why are you here?”

I asked again to break the awkward silence.

“Nothing, I was just passing by when I saw you. Did you cry?”

Kyuhyun faced me as he was talking and lifted his hands to brush the dried tears on my face. A simple gesture that made my heart beat so fast. Kyuhyun, do you know how much I want to feel your touch?

I close my eyes as his hands are still on my face and cherish the moment I had with Kyuhyun.

Even just for a little time, I want you to be here with me. Just for a while, Kyuhyun, please don’t go. I really want to tell you these feelings I have but I can’t. I don’t have the courage. I’m sorry.

I fight my tears back and opened my eyes. His eyes glistering from sadness were my eyes staring at right now. I can’t help myself to stare right at him but after a few good seconds I turned my back and quickly stand up.

“I need to go now, Kyu. Thanks for comforting me. Goodbye.”

I ran again, ran as fast as I can for the second time this day. I can’t stand pretending that I am okay in front of you when the truth is I am dying inside whenever I remember the pain when I saw you with someone else and you are happy with her and the pain that I can’t tell you how much I love you.

When I got home, I saw my bestfriends. I cried again and they just hugged me.

“Min, you’re just hurting yourself as well as Kyuhyun.”

“Kyuhyun?! I know his not. Why would he? He doesn’t love me as I love him. He doesn’t know how hurt it is and he shouldn’t know about it.”

I sobbed harder this time and let all my tears fall out to think that I cried hard enough a while ago. I thought I ran out of tears but it seems that I have millions of gallons of tears in my eyes. I keeping on thinking why do they always telling me that Kyuhyun is hurting too? It’s not that Kyuhyun have the same feelings for me too, right? Maybe he loves me too but I should not keep my hopes up. If he loves me, why would he let that girl kissed him? Argh! Never mind, it just giving me headaches and heartaches too. I feel grateful that my bestfriends are here to comfort me. I thank them and let me go to my room.

I didn’t have enough strength to change my clothes, I just slumped my body in my bed and let my eyes close to finally take a rest.

Kyuhyun, if you also love me, please let me know. I can’t stop myself from pretending. I can’t tell you how much I love you because I am a coward. I am afraid that it will just drift us apart for a life time. 

~TBC

A/N: Trololo. thank you for those who still reading.^^ and commenting :D ILY so much! <3